Super Junior: all the dreams and hopes made of your eyes (其实还爱你)
Title: all the dreams and hopes made of your eyes (其实还爱你)
Author: papered
Fandom: Super Junior
Characters/Pairings: Zhou Mi, Kyumi
Rating: G
Word Count: 700
Summary: 其实我非常爱你（不想失去你）
Notes: My first Kyumi fic, in which I floundered and tried to find a balance between fluff and angst. Written while listening to Sigur Rós's Hoppípolla and Real's 其实还爱你.
i.
Cheekbones too sharp, nose too big. There are only angular features and cracked lips. The glass under his fingertips is cool, and Zhou Mi closes his eyes and presses his forehead against the smooth surface.
There's a knock - three hollow taps against wood. Han Geng's reminder to stop practicing and go to sleep soon interrupts the silence, and Zhou Mi nods like he's going to listen. (He doesn't get back to his room until three hours later, when even the latest members are long asleep.)
When he closes his eyes, he dreams of dark hair and laughing eyes.
ii.
Kyuhyun is nice and respectful just enough of the time that Zhou Mi sometimes forgets the moments when Kyuhyun reminds him of Heechul. But there's a tongue sharp enough to cut hearts in half in there somewhere, and reading some of the replies Kyuhyun leaves his fans is enough to make Zhou Mi flinch.
It's always hurts more with Kyuhyun, because no one thinks they need to guard against him.
iii.
(But when he smiles, it's just a little breathtaking, and Zhou Mi thinks he knows exactly how the fans feel.)
iv.
Sometimes, he wishes they were away from here, away from the cameras and the media and the attention. Zhou Mi's always wanted to live by the ocean, watch the incoming tide in the mornings; walk barefoot along the beach and feel the sand between his toes.
He even tells Kyuhyun this sometimes, but he lets the younger man think that when he says we, he means the whole group when what he really wants to say is just the two of us.
v.
He wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.
vi.
Sometimes. Wonders.
vii.
"Donghae-hyung wants a video game rematch, so I'm heading off now," Kyuhyun tells him after their daily vocal exercises. "Don't practice too late, okay?"
He gives a small nod as he watches Kyuhyun sweep out of the room.
The door swings shut with a soft click, and Zhou Mi can't help but think that it's suddenly a little colder.
"我爱你," he tells the empty room.
viii.
The music is just black notes on white paper, but when Kyuhyun is playing, it sounds like blue skies and riverbanks. The individual notes string together, smooth and soft, punctuated by the occasional series of sharp staccatos that sends goosebumps up his arms.
When the last note resounds through the room, Kyuhyun turns to smile at him, and Zhou Mi can't help but smile back. There's a momentary lull, a comfortable kind of quiet. It's the perfect moment to say something, to take a risk, but when he opens his mouth, Zhou Mi finds that his lips won't form the words he wants to say.
What if he says no?
He hesitates a second too long. The moment passes, and a new piece begins, faster than the previous one. So Zhou Mi relaxes and lets go.
He'd never been much of a risk-taker, and maybe, that's a good thing. Because no matter what happens, this is one thing he can't risk.
ix.
The first snowfall of the year is always the best. There's always the right amount of snow and water mixed in, hard enough to pack into balls but soft enough to explode into a flurry of powder when it hits its target.
"You have snow in your hair," Kyuhyun tells him, amusement in his eyes.
Zhou Mi laughs, trying to shake the fine powder off, but it's already starting to melt. He can feel the water droplets running down his face, but can't really bring himself to care.
There's a yell from behind him. Han Geng's been tackled to the ground, and their leader is trying but failing to pull himself out of Siwon's grasp. Donghae helpfully settles himself on top of Siwon, but not before pulling Henry along with him, and before long, there's a pile of boys in the snow.
As Kyuhyun goes to help Ryeowook build a snowman, everyone conveniently ignoring Han Geng's demands to be let up, Zhou Mi can't help but smile.
Maybe, he thinks to himself, this is the way it should be. Maybe this is enough.
fic started: November 9th, 2008
fic finished: November 10th, 2008
+ Feedback would be greatly appreciated.
+ Like what you've read? Please friend!
Author: papered
Fandom: Super Junior
Characters/Pairings: Zhou Mi, Kyumi
Rating: G
Word Count: 700
Summary: 其实我非常爱你（不想失去你）
Notes: My first Kyumi fic, in which I floundered and tried to find a balance between fluff and angst. Written while listening to Sigur Rós's Hoppípolla and Real's 其实还爱你.
i.
Cheekbones too sharp, nose too big. There are only angular features and cracked lips. The glass under his fingertips is cool, and Zhou Mi closes his eyes and presses his forehead against the smooth surface.
There's a knock - three hollow taps against wood. Han Geng's reminder to stop practicing and go to sleep soon interrupts the silence, and Zhou Mi nods like he's going to listen. (He doesn't get back to his room until three hours later, when even the latest members are long asleep.)
When he closes his eyes, he dreams of dark hair and laughing eyes.
ii.
Kyuhyun is nice and respectful just enough of the time that Zhou Mi sometimes forgets the moments when Kyuhyun reminds him of Heechul. But there's a tongue sharp enough to cut hearts in half in there somewhere, and reading some of the replies Kyuhyun leaves his fans is enough to make Zhou Mi flinch.
It's always hurts more with Kyuhyun, because no one thinks they need to guard against him.
iii.
(But when he smiles, it's just a little breathtaking, and Zhou Mi thinks he knows exactly how the fans feel.)
iv.
Sometimes, he wishes they were away from here, away from the cameras and the media and the attention. Zhou Mi's always wanted to live by the ocean, watch the incoming tide in the mornings; walk barefoot along the beach and feel the sand between his toes.
He even tells Kyuhyun this sometimes, but he lets the younger man think that when he says we, he means the whole group when what he really wants to say is just the two of us.
v.
He wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.
vi.
Sometimes. Wonders.
vii.
"Donghae-hyung wants a video game rematch, so I'm heading off now," Kyuhyun tells him after their daily vocal exercises. "Don't practice too late, okay?"
He gives a small nod as he watches Kyuhyun sweep out of the room.
The door swings shut with a soft click, and Zhou Mi can't help but think that it's suddenly a little colder.
"我爱你," he tells the empty room.
viii.
The music is just black notes on white paper, but when Kyuhyun is playing, it sounds like blue skies and riverbanks. The individual notes string together, smooth and soft, punctuated by the occasional series of sharp staccatos that sends goosebumps up his arms.
When the last note resounds through the room, Kyuhyun turns to smile at him, and Zhou Mi can't help but smile back. There's a momentary lull, a comfortable kind of quiet. It's the perfect moment to say something, to take a risk, but when he opens his mouth, Zhou Mi finds that his lips won't form the words he wants to say.
What if he says no?
He hesitates a second too long. The moment passes, and a new piece begins, faster than the previous one. So Zhou Mi relaxes and lets go.
He'd never been much of a risk-taker, and maybe, that's a good thing. Because no matter what happens, this is one thing he can't risk.
ix.
The first snowfall of the year is always the best. There's always the right amount of snow and water mixed in, hard enough to pack into balls but soft enough to explode into a flurry of powder when it hits its target.
"You have snow in your hair," Kyuhyun tells him, amusement in his eyes.
Zhou Mi laughs, trying to shake the fine powder off, but it's already starting to melt. He can feel the water droplets running down his face, but can't really bring himself to care.
There's a yell from behind him. Han Geng's been tackled to the ground, and their leader is trying but failing to pull himself out of Siwon's grasp. Donghae helpfully settles himself on top of Siwon, but not before pulling Henry along with him, and before long, there's a pile of boys in the snow.
As Kyuhyun goes to help Ryeowook build a snowman, everyone conveniently ignoring Han Geng's demands to be let up, Zhou Mi can't help but smile.
Maybe, he thinks to himself, this is the way it should be. Maybe this is enough.
fic started: November 9th, 2008
fic finished: November 10th, 2008
+ Feedback would be greatly appreciated.
+ Like what you've read? Please friend!