(no subject)
it snowed!
beautiful few inches of snow cover ever surface outside. It's so powdery and angelic and just beautiful. It makes me happy just to sit and look at it, but i still feel that little hollow inside that reminds me of something that i can't take back.
this little black spot in my soul that makes me wish i could forget it and not think about it every time i see him and know that it makes no difference how i feel about it, that it's just something that happened and has no meaning to neone but myself.
and even to myself i'm not sure how i feel about it. part of me is sad that it doesn't exist, and the other part is just neutral, doesn't care, just wants to pretend it doesn't exist and is perfectly fine with that.
what do i do with this? it might help if i talked to him about it it may make it better, but it may just make it more awkward. i'm not sure. i think i'll ignore it for now. it won't happen again as long as there are others about.
i'm scared.
beautiful few inches of snow cover ever surface outside. It's so powdery and angelic and just beautiful. It makes me happy just to sit and look at it, but i still feel that little hollow inside that reminds me of something that i can't take back.
this little black spot in my soul that makes me wish i could forget it and not think about it every time i see him and know that it makes no difference how i feel about it, that it's just something that happened and has no meaning to neone but myself.
and even to myself i'm not sure how i feel about it. part of me is sad that it doesn't exist, and the other part is just neutral, doesn't care, just wants to pretend it doesn't exist and is perfectly fine with that.
what do i do with this? it might help if i talked to him about it it may make it better, but it may just make it more awkward. i'm not sure. i think i'll ignore it for now. it won't happen again as long as there are others about.
i'm scared.