(no subject)

[alive_yet_alone]

dinner with the family tonight..not the current family, but my real family.. my mom, my real dad, and justin. a little nervous. we haven't all been together in one place for longer than like 2 minutes in the past 5 years. i hope it goes well, my real dads starting chemo and radiation and he won't be feeling well so it's probably going to be the last time i'll see him in a while. just as he starts to actually acknowledge me again he has to go away

things kind of suck lately. i feel like i'm not in control of my own life anymore. i wish i could control his cancer, but i can't. i wish i could control what happens in my life, and i can't do that either