[Arlen glances up from where he was still whaling on the monster with all his strength and then finally stands but from it a little, letting the bloodied weapon fall to the floor]
I guess you're right. Just... you know. Getting everything out. Good to take shit out on monsters, right?
[he's quiet for a moment. That "I understand" catches him slightly off-guard but he does appreciate it and half of his mouth slides upward in a small smile. Cloud probably won't ever really understand how much the small sentiment meant to him]
Naw, I'll be okay. I could defend myself with a fucking toothpick. I'm like Rambo up in this bitch.
Rambo? [Cloud has no idea what that is but he just gives Arlen a pat on the shoulder and yanks a smaller blade off Tsurugi, offering the slightly smaller sword to Arlen.]
If you can take care of it, you should use this. [And you get a rare small smile.] Just get it back to me soon.
Well, I'll show you the old Rambo movies someday. You need to see 'em, man. Fucking classics. And don't worry, I'll protect it like it's a glass egg or something. It uh... it means a lot that you'd trust me with it.
[at that last part, his smile sags a little and he glances down at the monster too. One shoulder goes up in a halfhearted little shrug]
Yeah. Sure. Figure it's not helping me much not talking about it, even if it won't help to talk about it either.
Alright, if you want. [He's never really had time to sit and watch movies, not really since he was a kid, but he'd be glad to.] Yeah... well, I trust you not to lose it.
[He gives him an pat on the shoulder and begins to head for somewhere to take a break from fighting. Cloud decides the best place is 7th Heaven.] Come on, we'll get a drink while you talk.
If you can actually break that, I'd be surprised. They can slice through motorcycles like paper.
[He smirks slightly and leads the way to the bar, and round the back to avoid anyone inside the bar. He grabs a bottle of whiskey and two glasses before leading the way into the back room.]
So... talk. [And Cloud sits down to pour drinks for them.]
Well that just sounds like the kind of weapon I've always wanted to use. Bless you for letting me use it, man. I owe you one. Seriously. Anything you can think of, any time you want
( ... )
[Cloud sits quiet while Arlen talks about it all and he sips his drink once in a while, listening to the story. It's heartbreaking and he can't help but think of his own failures as Arlen talks about being unable to save someone.]
It's... not pathetic. I've done something like that. Twice in fact. It takes a long time to forgive yourself for doing something so wrong, but it happens eventually.
[Cloud has forgiven himself but he'll never forget what he did, his failures.] I did stupid things to make myself forget, just for a while, too. So... I get why you do stuff like that.
Maybe. But you'll learn to... not hate yourself for it.
[He nods a little, then shrugs slightly, setting down his empty glass on the coffee table.]
I... was in the military when I was young. Joined early. I met my best friend there, Zack Fair, and we were involved in... an incident in my hometown, Nibelheim, and had to go on the run. [He swallows thickly and takes a shaking breath.] I ended up catatonic and he carried me around for a year. Just before I woke from that... he was shot a few dozen times. I could have saved him, if I had gotten to him quicker.
[He clears his throat, gaze on his boots.] Then there was another close friend, Aerith. Turns out she and Zack had a thing before he and I ran away, but... that's not the point. I promised her I'd protect her and then... she was stabbed. I could have stopped that too, and I didn't.
[He shrugs and pours another drink, sipping it.] It's been eight years since Zack died, three since Aerith died.
[Arlen frowns a bit as he listens, his expression sympathetic, and he places a hand on his friend's shoulder]
You were catatonic. That shit is not your fault. It's horrible and I know it probably feels like a huge burden on your shoulders, but you were catatonic. You can't control when you wake from that. That's not on you, man. It was all up to chance. As shitty and helpless as it might feel, it wasn't you and there was nothing you could have done. You didn't do anything wrong. If you'd been awake, I'm sure you would have saved him. If you'd had a chance, you would have. That's what counts.
[he swallows and squeezes Cloud's shoulder lightly]
And as for Aerith... you can't always protect everybody. You can't... change what happens when things get out of your control. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened. You didn't kill them. And I'm sure you did what you could to keep them safe. From where I'm sitting, I don't see how you can possibly hold any of the blame. I'm sure they don't blame you, and I know they were damn
( ... )
[Cloud watches him for a moment then approaches, hoisting his sword to his shoulder and jerking his chin up in a half nod.]
Whacking it won't help anymore. I think it's dead.
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I guess you're right. Just... you know. Getting everything out. Good to take shit out on monsters, right?
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[He eyes the bloodied table leg on the floor and shakes his head a little bit.] If you're gonna be out here, you need a better weapon.
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Naw, I'll be okay. I could defend myself with a fucking toothpick. I'm like Rambo up in this bitch.
[and then a full grin follows]
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If you can take care of it, you should use this. [And you get a rare small smile.] Just get it back to me soon.
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[he just looks at the sword for a moment before he grins back and takes it carefully]
Thanks. I'll take good care of it. I promise.
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[He lumps the sword up onto his shoulder again and eyes the dead monster.] Wanna... talk about that?
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[at that last part, his smile sags a little and he glances down at the monster too. One shoulder goes up in a halfhearted little shrug]
Yeah. Sure. Figure it's not helping me much not talking about it, even if it won't help to talk about it either.
[he swallows]
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[He gives him an pat on the shoulder and begins to head for somewhere to take a break from fighting. Cloud decides the best place is 7th Heaven.] Come on, we'll get a drink while you talk.
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No way will I lose it. I'll glue it to my goddamn hand if I have to, but you'll get it back from me in one piece when this is all over.
[there's a small pause and he nods, following Cloud like a loyal puppy]
Okay, that sounds good. Sounds great, actually. I could really go for something right now.
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[He smirks slightly and leads the way to the bar, and round the back to avoid anyone inside the bar. He grabs a bottle of whiskey and two glasses before leading the way into the back room.]
So... talk. [And Cloud sits down to pour drinks for them.]
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[Cloud sits quiet while Arlen talks about it all and he sips his drink once in a while, listening to the story. It's heartbreaking and he can't help but think of his own failures as Arlen talks about being unable to save someone.]
It's... not pathetic. I've done something like that. Twice in fact. It takes a long time to forgive yourself for doing something so wrong, but it happens eventually.
[Cloud has forgiven himself but he'll never forget what he did, his failures.] I did stupid things to make myself forget, just for a while, too. So... I get why you do stuff like that.
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[Arlen finishes his drink and pours another and for a moment he just sits and looks at Cloud]
You have?
[he glances away, and then looks back]
Do you... wanna talk about that? Now that I've rambled your ear off about all my stupid problems and everything.
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[He nods a little, then shrugs slightly, setting down his empty glass on the coffee table.]
I... was in the military when I was young. Joined early. I met my best friend there, Zack Fair, and we were involved in... an incident in my hometown, Nibelheim, and had to go on the run. [He swallows thickly and takes a shaking breath.] I ended up catatonic and he carried me around for a year. Just before I woke from that... he was shot a few dozen times. I could have saved him, if I had gotten to him quicker.
[He clears his throat, gaze on his boots.] Then there was another close friend, Aerith. Turns out she and Zack had a thing before he and I ran away, but... that's not the point. I promised her I'd protect her and then... she was stabbed. I could have stopped that too, and I didn't.
[He shrugs and pours another drink, sipping it.] It's been eight years since Zack died, three since Aerith died.
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You were catatonic. That shit is not your fault. It's horrible and I know it probably feels like a huge burden on your shoulders, but you were catatonic. You can't control when you wake from that. That's not on you, man. It was all up to chance. As shitty and helpless as it might feel, it wasn't you and there was nothing you could have done. You didn't do anything wrong. If you'd been awake, I'm sure you would have saved him. If you'd had a chance, you would have. That's what counts.
[he swallows and squeezes Cloud's shoulder lightly]
And as for Aerith... you can't always protect everybody. You can't... change what happens when things get out of your control. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened. You didn't kill them. And I'm sure you did what you could to keep them safe. From where I'm sitting, I don't see how you can possibly hold any of the blame. I'm sure they don't blame you, and I know they were damn ( ... )
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