(no subject)
Tomorrow I am going to Townsville to see my ex-boyfriend. I'm going to stay with him for three days. I have to admit, I am a little bit uncertain about it. He has such a strong personality, and can be so stubborn. On the one hand I want to see him because we broke up over the phone and over such a long distance, I want to see him face to face and get 'closure' (to use the over-used term) and end things on a friendly note. On the other hand, though, I'm concerned that it might just make things more difficult, because he is ridiculously bad at dealing with reality when things don't go his way. Sometimes he just flat out rejects things he doesn't want to deal with, and so it could get nasty, because I have the sneaking suspicion he has not come to terms with the fact that we are finished. Because as far as I'm concerned, romantically speaking we are dead and buried. I feel absolutely numb now on that front, something that even I find very surprising.
I also feel like a completely different person since breaking up with him. It was like my entire being let up a huge sigh of relief, sucked in the fresh air, and stretched itself out again for the first time after being crammed into a tiny space for years. It's such an incredible feeling of new growth and regeneration, and it was so completely unexpected. I feel like I have little green shoots coming out of myself in all directions, and it's all so healthy and positive and wonderful. I am absolutely certain he won't like the change, and the new sense of strength and independence about me. (And let's face it, who would want to know that the ex-other-half is getting on much, much better without them?) I am a bit worried, I hope it won't get too ugly.
Whatever happens, I know that seeing him is the right thing to do. I am going to stick my neck out and be adult, and try to reclaim a friendship out of all of this mess. It's up to him what he wants to do with that. He can be difficult and maybe hurt me a bit, set me back a little in the recovery process, but ultimately I will recover and I will know that I gave the friendship a chance. Then I can move on with absolutely no regrets, and with room for nothing but growth. I will not have lost anything.
By the way, happy new year! Mwah to you, Jason!
I also feel like a completely different person since breaking up with him. It was like my entire being let up a huge sigh of relief, sucked in the fresh air, and stretched itself out again for the first time after being crammed into a tiny space for years. It's such an incredible feeling of new growth and regeneration, and it was so completely unexpected. I feel like I have little green shoots coming out of myself in all directions, and it's all so healthy and positive and wonderful. I am absolutely certain he won't like the change, and the new sense of strength and independence about me. (And let's face it, who would want to know that the ex-other-half is getting on much, much better without them?) I am a bit worried, I hope it won't get too ugly.
Whatever happens, I know that seeing him is the right thing to do. I am going to stick my neck out and be adult, and try to reclaim a friendship out of all of this mess. It's up to him what he wants to do with that. He can be difficult and maybe hurt me a bit, set me back a little in the recovery process, but ultimately I will recover and I will know that I gave the friendship a chance. Then I can move on with absolutely no regrets, and with room for nothing but growth. I will not have lost anything.
By the way, happy new year! Mwah to you, Jason!