Arthur on Vegetarianism
Title: Arthur on Vegetarianism
Rating: PG-13 for euphamisms and sexual threats
Warnings: ALL DIALOGUE!! Crack.
Length:~250 words
Authors notes: Arthur and Merlin go for a walk in the woods...Really sorry if this is shockingly bad, it was written in 10 minutes at 12am and just sort of fell onto the page :-S Please feel free to correct, tweak (or say you liked it? *flutters eyelashes*)
Arthur on Vegetarianism
*Snap*
…
*Rustle rustle*
…
*Crunch!*
Merlin!
What?
This concept might be hard to grasp, but I am TRYING to hunt!
…And?
And for that I need you to be silent! Understand?
…Yes.
Alright then. Carry on.
…
*Snap*
Right, you’re doing that on purpose. What the hell is your problem!? Do you want to catch anything?
Well actually no.
…What?
I don’t. I think it’s wrong to kill innocent creatures.
But it’s not wrong to kill delicious creatures. Like deer, or boar, or hare, or-
They all have the right to life!!
…Merlin that is quite possibly the most idiotic thing that has ever left your mouth, and it is up against some stiff competition. What do you think we should do then, just not eat?
*mumblemumble*
I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that. What is your brilliant solution to this pointless conundrum?
…Well…we could live off…vegetables.
…
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
No seriously, they’re quite nice re-
AHAHAHAHAOOHOOHOOHOO!!!
Arthur!
AHAHAHAHA..HA..haha…hoo.
…
Are you done?
...*snort*…heeheeheeheehee. Oh Merlin, you’re brilliant. It’s times like these I am reminded why I put up with your incompetence and terrible dress sense.
Shut up sire.
…
…
…
…You always seem to eat my meat very happily-
SHUT UP SIRE!!!
I’m just saying.
…
Come to think of it it’s also times like that I’m reminded why I put up with your-
I’ll chew it next time if you don’t shut up.
…
Merlin, that’s not funny.