grey's anatomy fanfiction, addison - satan used to hit the boys and make them cry
Satan Used To Hit The Boys And Make Them Cry
Author's Notes: Indulge me. I miss bitchy Addison. And I was thinking about this friend of mine who is being screwed by a teenager of the male sex. I would dearly love to hit said teenager in the gonads right now. Hence we have a little post-LMR vignette.
Addison used to beat boys up in high school. They just pissed her off sometimes, and more often than not, her two best friends ended up being screwed over by acne-stricken hormone-ridden idiots who acted half their shoe size most of the time. She was nerdy, she had braces, she was taller than half the boys in her class, she could count her friends on one hand, but even then, Addison Montgomery did not take shit from anyone. Especially dumb boys. So in eighth grade she had been hauled to the principal’s office for breaking Johnny What’shisface’s nose. And she had cried and pleaded innocence until the school principal had decided that the straight-A student in concert band was far more likely to be telling the truth than a wannabe juvenile delinquent. It was her first experience with getting her way with men. After that, she realised; if you cried and batted your eyelashes in the right way, you got results.
In her senior year, one of her friends told her the reason she had never been kissed was because she scared people. And she had laughed, because really there was nothing scary about her. And her friend had rolled her eyes. Jeez, I don’t know Addison, the fact that you march around with an arsenal of every ready sarcastic retorts? That’s scary. Or maybe the fact that you claim high school is a demonstration of Darwinian principles in reverse, survival of the dumbest. But it was true, you couldn’t exactly argue that Miss Head Cheerleader was the sharpest scalpel in the biology lab. But whatever, as far as excuses went, it was a good one. I have no love life because I’m too intimidating.
In college, she’d finally ridded herself of the mouth full of metal and realised there might be more to this boys thing than she had originally thought. Maybe it was just because the boys finally decided that showering was indeed a necessary part of daily life. Maybe it was because the idiots at high school didn’t get into college. It was possibly just because drinking irresponsibly made her lusty. Whatever the reason, she had carefully hidden her aggressive streak. Occasionally she slapped a particularly irksome male of the species, but in general, she giggled more. Because like batting your eyes and crying, Addison had realised that giggling got you your own way with men more often than not.
During her internship, she realised that sometimes, men liked it when you bested them in a war of wits. Derek seemed to like that assertiveness she tried not to unleash too often. She’d always suspected this was true of course, why else was Pride and Prejudice still popular? Still, in high school she was opinionated and bitchy; when they first started at the hospital she had high-heels and lipstick and a love of babies to take the edge off her cutting remarks. She didn’t slap men anymore. If a male resident pissed her off, she passed on whatever gossip about them she happened to hear. If a male attending made chauvinistic remarks in surgery, she smiled and performed better than any of the male interns. It was a men’s world. Addison could play that game. So out came the red lipstick and the flirty smiles. It wasn’t hard to manipulate men; it was fun. She didn’t physical beat them up anymore, but it was still thrilling to know that she was better at her job than most of the men she worked with.
Now she is a successful surgeon, one of the best in her field. She has lots of to-die-for shoes and a gorgeous husband, but God, could she slog him right now. It wouldn’t be hard. She hasn’t hit anyone in years, but she’s sure she remembers how to do it. And she’s sure the satisfying smack of a fist connecting with mandible would be really, really gratifying, almost enough to make assault worth it. Because Addison has always felt protective of other women, not because they’re the weaker sex or something but just because most women? Most women are stupid when it comes to men. Most women will put up with crappy sex and affairs and being neglected for surgery. And sure, she’s mellowed a little, as she’s grown older, but in essence, she’s still the same fiery thirteen-year-old who put that kink in little Johnny’s nose. And she hates her gorgeous husband right now, she hates him so much that she’s going to divorce his sorry ass. Because Meredith Grey is one of those stupid women, one of those girls who probably cried over the antics of a teenage boy in high school, and he took advantage of that.
Meredith may be stupid, but Addison is leaving.
Because she’s not.
Author's Notes: Indulge me. I miss bitchy Addison. And I was thinking about this friend of mine who is being screwed by a teenager of the male sex. I would dearly love to hit said teenager in the gonads right now. Hence we have a little post-LMR vignette.
Addison used to beat boys up in high school. They just pissed her off sometimes, and more often than not, her two best friends ended up being screwed over by acne-stricken hormone-ridden idiots who acted half their shoe size most of the time. She was nerdy, she had braces, she was taller than half the boys in her class, she could count her friends on one hand, but even then, Addison Montgomery did not take shit from anyone. Especially dumb boys. So in eighth grade she had been hauled to the principal’s office for breaking Johnny What’shisface’s nose. And she had cried and pleaded innocence until the school principal had decided that the straight-A student in concert band was far more likely to be telling the truth than a wannabe juvenile delinquent. It was her first experience with getting her way with men. After that, she realised; if you cried and batted your eyelashes in the right way, you got results.
In her senior year, one of her friends told her the reason she had never been kissed was because she scared people. And she had laughed, because really there was nothing scary about her. And her friend had rolled her eyes. Jeez, I don’t know Addison, the fact that you march around with an arsenal of every ready sarcastic retorts? That’s scary. Or maybe the fact that you claim high school is a demonstration of Darwinian principles in reverse, survival of the dumbest. But it was true, you couldn’t exactly argue that Miss Head Cheerleader was the sharpest scalpel in the biology lab. But whatever, as far as excuses went, it was a good one. I have no love life because I’m too intimidating.
In college, she’d finally ridded herself of the mouth full of metal and realised there might be more to this boys thing than she had originally thought. Maybe it was just because the boys finally decided that showering was indeed a necessary part of daily life. Maybe it was because the idiots at high school didn’t get into college. It was possibly just because drinking irresponsibly made her lusty. Whatever the reason, she had carefully hidden her aggressive streak. Occasionally she slapped a particularly irksome male of the species, but in general, she giggled more. Because like batting your eyes and crying, Addison had realised that giggling got you your own way with men more often than not.
During her internship, she realised that sometimes, men liked it when you bested them in a war of wits. Derek seemed to like that assertiveness she tried not to unleash too often. She’d always suspected this was true of course, why else was Pride and Prejudice still popular? Still, in high school she was opinionated and bitchy; when they first started at the hospital she had high-heels and lipstick and a love of babies to take the edge off her cutting remarks. She didn’t slap men anymore. If a male resident pissed her off, she passed on whatever gossip about them she happened to hear. If a male attending made chauvinistic remarks in surgery, she smiled and performed better than any of the male interns. It was a men’s world. Addison could play that game. So out came the red lipstick and the flirty smiles. It wasn’t hard to manipulate men; it was fun. She didn’t physical beat them up anymore, but it was still thrilling to know that she was better at her job than most of the men she worked with.
Now she is a successful surgeon, one of the best in her field. She has lots of to-die-for shoes and a gorgeous husband, but God, could she slog him right now. It wouldn’t be hard. She hasn’t hit anyone in years, but she’s sure she remembers how to do it. And she’s sure the satisfying smack of a fist connecting with mandible would be really, really gratifying, almost enough to make assault worth it. Because Addison has always felt protective of other women, not because they’re the weaker sex or something but just because most women? Most women are stupid when it comes to men. Most women will put up with crappy sex and affairs and being neglected for surgery. And sure, she’s mellowed a little, as she’s grown older, but in essence, she’s still the same fiery thirteen-year-old who put that kink in little Johnny’s nose. And she hates her gorgeous husband right now, she hates him so much that she’s going to divorce his sorry ass. Because Meredith Grey is one of those stupid women, one of those girls who probably cried over the antics of a teenage boy in high school, and he took advantage of that.
Meredith may be stupid, but Addison is leaving.
Because she’s not.