i don't feel like whining, but i do feel like talking.
i know a lot of it is the show, and growing pains and frustration that stems from not knowing what it's growing into. and hatred of playing mood. so tired of playing mood in this school.
that makes little sense for most people, but i'm guessing you can relate to just wanting to be yourself, or at least something real, regardless of context. i certainly don't want to be "myself" on stage, whoever that is - but i am human, even if my character is feral human or what have you - but the play's turning into this fog of neverending foginess and i want that to change. NOW. NOW NOW NOW.
i wish i could speak freely without being a baby. i want to write about how i feel alone, and that stems from the feeling that the people i want to listen to me haven't, and the people i want to care don't. but how fucking whiny is that? everyone feels alone.
ain't that paradox for ya. we're all feeling alone together.
i have a general feeling of dissatisfaction that comes from, yes, play, and perpetual tiredness, and not being on top of my schoolwork but not being behind enough to motivate me out of my tiredness to actually do something.
i made an appointment with a bankrupcy attorney. that just about frightened me to death.
i'm familiar with this feeling. it's tense and sour. it might be depression if i slow down enough to let it sink in. as it is it is, of course, bullshit.
it's funny when one's mood worsens one's mood. "euck! i'm so snarky! i'm identifying my own snarkiness, and that makes me MORE snarky!"
i'm tired of selfish people, and i'm sick of remembering that i'm one of them.
that makes little sense for most people, but i'm guessing you can relate to just wanting to be yourself, or at least something real, regardless of context. i certainly don't want to be "myself" on stage, whoever that is - but i am human, even if my character is feral human or what have you - but the play's turning into this fog of neverending foginess and i want that to change. NOW. NOW NOW NOW.
i wish i could speak freely without being a baby. i want to write about how i feel alone, and that stems from the feeling that the people i want to listen to me haven't, and the people i want to care don't. but how fucking whiny is that? everyone feels alone.
ain't that paradox for ya. we're all feeling alone together.
i have a general feeling of dissatisfaction that comes from, yes, play, and perpetual tiredness, and not being on top of my schoolwork but not being behind enough to motivate me out of my tiredness to actually do something.
i made an appointment with a bankrupcy attorney. that just about frightened me to death.
i'm familiar with this feeling. it's tense and sour. it might be depression if i slow down enough to let it sink in. as it is it is, of course, bullshit.
it's funny when one's mood worsens one's mood. "euck! i'm so snarky! i'm identifying my own snarkiness, and that makes me MORE snarky!"
i'm tired of selfish people, and i'm sick of remembering that i'm one of them.