huh
Well, I am disturbed.... in more ways than one.
I was reading some back entries of lj and saw on of my sisters from 2005 and I guess I just dont know how to feel about it. I guess its strange to look back and realize what people think of you. Also its odd to realize what type of a person you are. I guess i never really knew that i dont care about other peoples feelings or that i do and want to make them happy. thinking back on the incident, i dont know which it was. theres really no way to tell because everything i do is so random and well things that i dont feel or that dont effect me directly have no meaning in my life. because I AM SELFISH and i am a liar. If it is not a thought that i have in my head about my life then why should it bother me? Its sad isnt it? to think that you have changed and then see that you havent? I may have become a "nicer person " a more understanding person by actually giving advice and talking about how I would feel. but really I am not listening to your problems all I am doing is telling you how either i felt or what i did in the situation when it was my problem. other peoples problems sadly dont effect my life. But honestly? To those of you who let other people's problems effect your life.... how happy are you? IS is really that great to have no life that you live others for them in your head? is it wrong for me not to care what is going on in your life but to be so obssessed with my own that i constantly talk about my own? wow im sounding quite vain or bicthy cant decide which. and totally got off of the subject of what i was going for.
also i cant decide why the needles game disgusts me. maybe it is fear or maybe it is the lack of..... and by this i do not mean my own.
I was reading some back entries of lj and saw on of my sisters from 2005 and I guess I just dont know how to feel about it. I guess its strange to look back and realize what people think of you. Also its odd to realize what type of a person you are. I guess i never really knew that i dont care about other peoples feelings or that i do and want to make them happy. thinking back on the incident, i dont know which it was. theres really no way to tell because everything i do is so random and well things that i dont feel or that dont effect me directly have no meaning in my life. because I AM SELFISH and i am a liar. If it is not a thought that i have in my head about my life then why should it bother me? Its sad isnt it? to think that you have changed and then see that you havent? I may have become a "nicer person " a more understanding person by actually giving advice and talking about how I would feel. but really I am not listening to your problems all I am doing is telling you how either i felt or what i did in the situation when it was my problem. other peoples problems sadly dont effect my life. But honestly? To those of you who let other people's problems effect your life.... how happy are you? IS is really that great to have no life that you live others for them in your head? is it wrong for me not to care what is going on in your life but to be so obssessed with my own that i constantly talk about my own? wow im sounding quite vain or bicthy cant decide which. and totally got off of the subject of what i was going for.
also i cant decide why the needles game disgusts me. maybe it is fear or maybe it is the lack of..... and by this i do not mean my own.