yah

Oct 19, 2005 12:42

i dont know why october is always such a horrible month for me.

first brian and i arent together anymore after i was accepting everything and beginning to believe all the things that he told me. i was naive or whatever to believe these things again. but that is over now and theres not much to say about it anymore.

all of my friends no longer have time for me, not even a simple phone call.

chris was a good friend to me i thought. then he tries to sleep with me and i wouldnt do it. and now hes not talking to me and i am supposedly stalking him. i cant see how i am stalking him. its stupid.

i hate the way people have been treating me. apparently i am a bitch and a horrible person according to a few different people. i am good enough for people to want to fuck but i am not good enough for anything else. the saddest thing is that i dont see why people feel this way about me.
i think that i have a personality and i dont really think that i am a bitch i am sorry that people feel that way but if that is the way that they feel than i guess they dont understand me.

he didnt responf to anyhting that i said and he was online but well atleast i said what it was that i wanted to say. i feel alittle better letting him know how i feel. although i wish that i had the courage to tell others the way i feel. okay he did respond.
Alikikikiay [12:42 P.M.]: so what did i do to u anyway?
Alikikikiay [12:45 P.M.]: alright whatever then
Alikikikiay [12:55 P.M.]: i am really sick of the way i have been treated, not only by you but others too. i am sorry that u think that i am a bitch and suck a horrible person. it upsets me that i am good enough for people to fuck but i am not good enough to be listened to or understood. i believe that i have a personality and that i am worth more than for someone to get their dick wet. i am sorry that u dont feel that way. and i am also sorry that i consider people my friend when i shouldnt. when i wouldnt sleep with u the other
Alikikikiay [12:57 P.M.]: day you wanted nothing to do with me. and i hope that one day you realize that no matter how much of a bitch you think someone is that they have feelings to, that you just dont see them. so i guess ill say it was fun while it lasted and i did try to help u understand me it is just hard for me to open up to people right away. i dont believe that i did but i am sorry if i hurt u in anyway.

he said : "i'm sorry but i thought i made it clear that i was not totaly sane"

does that make sense to anyone? oh well men are that way i suppose
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