(no subject)
Uggghhhh end of the school year. There has been lots of crying, for me, because the majority of my friends are seniors.
Really, without them, I'd be lost. I'd have either killed myself by now or be drifting along on a thread of awareness. I'd be trapped in a book or a videogame, lost. I'm desperately afraid I'll never see them all again, and I'm afraid they don't understand how much they mean to me. They've made me feel more loved and wanted than anybody in my family ever has.
But enough of that, it's depressing enough to think of could-have-beens.
On the upside, Janet is my best friend, and she's the same age as me so it's not as if I have nobody next year and so-on. I have plenty of friends.
The Thespian Banquet was GREAT, I got the Award for Best Speech Giver. Mrs. Morrison was apparently thrilled by my persuasive essay on Gender Stereotypes, and my Duct Tape presentation, and my Impromptu speech on 'Why Alison Hates The Pre-Dating Tango'.
Also, the night of the Thespian Banquet we all got together and caught the midnight premier of Toy Story 3, WHICH WAS EVERYTHING AN ENDING SHOULD BE. I laughed, I cried, I applauded, and I totally ship Buzz/Jessie. IT'S CANON, PEOPLE. CANON!!!! HUZZAH!
And... Well it's getting harder and harder to watch my family crumble. I hate my sister, my mom is desperately trying to regain her youth, and my father is distant and grumpy. I try so hard not to get involved and not think about it, but I hate watching it. I hate it so much.
Kind of got a job, my mom's boss is paying me 25 bucks a week to clean the parking lot of a building he owns, also I've been babysitting his kids so I have something of a sporadic income.
Anyway... Eh, just updates. I'm tired, and I've been crying a lot lately. My mom keeps bringing up my weight and telling me I have no time management skills, no motivation. It feels like nothing I do is right.
Just an update post. I'm going to bed.
Really, without them, I'd be lost. I'd have either killed myself by now or be drifting along on a thread of awareness. I'd be trapped in a book or a videogame, lost. I'm desperately afraid I'll never see them all again, and I'm afraid they don't understand how much they mean to me. They've made me feel more loved and wanted than anybody in my family ever has.
But enough of that, it's depressing enough to think of could-have-beens.
On the upside, Janet is my best friend, and she's the same age as me so it's not as if I have nobody next year and so-on. I have plenty of friends.
The Thespian Banquet was GREAT, I got the Award for Best Speech Giver. Mrs. Morrison was apparently thrilled by my persuasive essay on Gender Stereotypes, and my Duct Tape presentation, and my Impromptu speech on 'Why Alison Hates The Pre-Dating Tango'.
Also, the night of the Thespian Banquet we all got together and caught the midnight premier of Toy Story 3, WHICH WAS EVERYTHING AN ENDING SHOULD BE. I laughed, I cried, I applauded, and I totally ship Buzz/Jessie. IT'S CANON, PEOPLE. CANON!!!! HUZZAH!
And... Well it's getting harder and harder to watch my family crumble. I hate my sister, my mom is desperately trying to regain her youth, and my father is distant and grumpy. I try so hard not to get involved and not think about it, but I hate watching it. I hate it so much.
Kind of got a job, my mom's boss is paying me 25 bucks a week to clean the parking lot of a building he owns, also I've been babysitting his kids so I have something of a sporadic income.
Anyway... Eh, just updates. I'm tired, and I've been crying a lot lately. My mom keeps bringing up my weight and telling me I have no time management skills, no motivation. It feels like nothing I do is right.
Just an update post. I'm going to bed.