(no subject)
I love my Aunt Jerri and Uncle Peter.
So I've been meaning to talk to my aunt and uncle since my first B&N interview, to ask their opinion on what might come from this. Now, my uncle is my mother's older brother. My aunt and uncle married but never had kids. They own a two family home and rent out the top part. They are also the ones who own the cabin in New Hampshire.
Now, ever since I was in high school, I knew that I couldn't ask my parents their opinions on most things, because they just held onto me too tightly, and never wanted to let me go. Same with my brother. So whenever I was doing a big debate in my head, they would become my neautral sounding board.
So with a box of wine in the back of my car, I made an excuse to my mother that I was going to visit them, and when she asked what about, I just said I wanted to check in on them.
So, I got there, and we chatted a bit, and then I brought up the subject of moving to Maryland. I was straight out about how the interviews went, about the salery they would be offering me, how I wasn't afraid of taking a second job if I needed extra money, and then asked them their honest opinion on what they felt.
You know what, they are the first family members who are glad for me, and told me if they offer me the job, as long as I'm making the same amount that I'm making now at the job from hell, to take it and run with it. They know I need my freedom, and feel that I'm responsible enough to take this on, and will be able to adapt and work to keep myself afloat.
My uncle told me about how my mother was a bit of a brat growing up, and how she always wanted everything her way. My dad lets her rule the house, so she never had it. He also says that my mom has bene out of the work force for so long she doesn't understand the problems I'm going through, even if she thinks she does.
They are the ones who used to complain to my mother for the 5 years I was at home in the living room about why Jason was still at home and why she didn't suggest he move out (he just moved out last october at the age of 31) because they knew that sleeping on a cot was hurting not only my back, but my self esteem and self worth. They would have offered me the apartment above their house, but knew I wouldn't want to live with family again.
So my uncle says that I shouldn't focus on the money. Not to settle for anything less than I'm making NOW, of course, but if settling for a lesser salery now gets me freedom, take it and run with it. Cause, as he pointed out, I'm at the top of where my job can take me here... if I go to B&N, I still have a lot of opportunity to move up and make more money. And who knows what my salery will be next year? I might be in that 40K rage then.
They also tell me to not listen to my mother and find my own place. They say live with a roommate (see, still hoping Ana). And if I can't be with a friend, just find a place, sign up for a year. Within a year, my salery will be different, and if I need my own space, I can get it then. It can't be any worse than living with my parents, or some of the dorm people I had in college.
And then finally, I asked them the embaressing question. I asked them if I got the job, could I take a loan from them for moving and to have a buffer for two months of bills so that I can get my feet firmly on the ground and not have to worry about money right away. I'd pay them back with my tax return and then small installments in the new year, but it would make me breathe a bit easier right away.
And they told me they had no problem with that. They would rather give me money now and help me when I need it, when it has a real purpose, then to just hold onto it until they die and give it out then when it's not needed.
So, I finally have family on my side for this decision in my life, which to me means a great deal. Now when and if I do take the job, and my mother doesn't feel the standard is to her liking, I know that I still have my aunt and uncle to stand by me.
And just knowing that makes me feel so much more secure that this is the right choice, and it's going to happen. My uncle thinks that I will be getting this job if they are willing to interview me on Sundays for the position. he even jokes that I should only give my evil job a one week notice when I leave, but I told him two weeks because I needed to make sure I have money for bills that month. He laughed.
So now I'm really excited about this next interview. If they offer me 36K-38K, I'm going to take it. I know I can pay my bills and survive on that. And I have my aunt and uncle to help me. So while my mother won't be happy about it, as my uncle says, she'll get over it.
So I've been meaning to talk to my aunt and uncle since my first B&N interview, to ask their opinion on what might come from this. Now, my uncle is my mother's older brother. My aunt and uncle married but never had kids. They own a two family home and rent out the top part. They are also the ones who own the cabin in New Hampshire.
Now, ever since I was in high school, I knew that I couldn't ask my parents their opinions on most things, because they just held onto me too tightly, and never wanted to let me go. Same with my brother. So whenever I was doing a big debate in my head, they would become my neautral sounding board.
So with a box of wine in the back of my car, I made an excuse to my mother that I was going to visit them, and when she asked what about, I just said I wanted to check in on them.
So, I got there, and we chatted a bit, and then I brought up the subject of moving to Maryland. I was straight out about how the interviews went, about the salery they would be offering me, how I wasn't afraid of taking a second job if I needed extra money, and then asked them their honest opinion on what they felt.
You know what, they are the first family members who are glad for me, and told me if they offer me the job, as long as I'm making the same amount that I'm making now at the job from hell, to take it and run with it. They know I need my freedom, and feel that I'm responsible enough to take this on, and will be able to adapt and work to keep myself afloat.
My uncle told me about how my mother was a bit of a brat growing up, and how she always wanted everything her way. My dad lets her rule the house, so she never had it. He also says that my mom has bene out of the work force for so long she doesn't understand the problems I'm going through, even if she thinks she does.
They are the ones who used to complain to my mother for the 5 years I was at home in the living room about why Jason was still at home and why she didn't suggest he move out (he just moved out last october at the age of 31) because they knew that sleeping on a cot was hurting not only my back, but my self esteem and self worth. They would have offered me the apartment above their house, but knew I wouldn't want to live with family again.
So my uncle says that I shouldn't focus on the money. Not to settle for anything less than I'm making NOW, of course, but if settling for a lesser salery now gets me freedom, take it and run with it. Cause, as he pointed out, I'm at the top of where my job can take me here... if I go to B&N, I still have a lot of opportunity to move up and make more money. And who knows what my salery will be next year? I might be in that 40K rage then.
They also tell me to not listen to my mother and find my own place. They say live with a roommate (see, still hoping Ana). And if I can't be with a friend, just find a place, sign up for a year. Within a year, my salery will be different, and if I need my own space, I can get it then. It can't be any worse than living with my parents, or some of the dorm people I had in college.
And then finally, I asked them the embaressing question. I asked them if I got the job, could I take a loan from them for moving and to have a buffer for two months of bills so that I can get my feet firmly on the ground and not have to worry about money right away. I'd pay them back with my tax return and then small installments in the new year, but it would make me breathe a bit easier right away.
And they told me they had no problem with that. They would rather give me money now and help me when I need it, when it has a real purpose, then to just hold onto it until they die and give it out then when it's not needed.
So, I finally have family on my side for this decision in my life, which to me means a great deal. Now when and if I do take the job, and my mother doesn't feel the standard is to her liking, I know that I still have my aunt and uncle to stand by me.
And just knowing that makes me feel so much more secure that this is the right choice, and it's going to happen. My uncle thinks that I will be getting this job if they are willing to interview me on Sundays for the position. he even jokes that I should only give my evil job a one week notice when I leave, but I told him two weeks because I needed to make sure I have money for bills that month. He laughed.
So now I'm really excited about this next interview. If they offer me 36K-38K, I'm going to take it. I know I can pay my bills and survive on that. And I have my aunt and uncle to help me. So while my mother won't be happy about it, as my uncle says, she'll get over it.