(no subject)
"be with Laura and let her find herself.....also be with my dougie and heather as they go through the same self exploring journey." "Lord, be with my friends that need to discover themselves and you, Laura, Heather, Doug, Monty and Kelli." "Please Lord be with Laura and help her find her way and HER happiness! Be with Heather and Kelli as they discover themselves." Those are a few of the things I said in some of my prayers in my prayer journal. They may sound cheesy but that's really what I felt was important at that time. I worry so much about my friends finding happiness and finding whatever it is they need to find. But many times I forget that I am just as lost as they are. Sometimes I find myself giving advise that I shouldn't be giving because I can't figure that very same problem in my own life. I don't know what I'm saying..I guess I just forget to look at my own life sometimes before I look at others and try and be a "friend."
I read the online journal of a friend I graduated with and it was quite inspirational. He talks about the many people that make up "the new Matt." Then makes an awesome statement (for lack of more articulate words) to those of us that read his journal I guess...he said...."Our virtues are timeless. I will always be a Marine, an EMT, and "The Matt". No matter the circumstance. I want you to remain whoever you are. No matter what happens. Times change and we must adapt, but at the end of the day our friends must still be able to recognize us." In that statement....I realize that I have to remain all the "people" that make up me. They all play a part in the Alison that everyone knows..and some even love. It seemed so easy for him to define the different sides of him but I find myself a little stumped when trying to define myself or selves...as the case may be. Hmm...I'm jealous that he knows himself so well.
Other thoughts...that boy that made me cry Friday...I miss talking to him. I was hoping to see him sign on tonight..is that weird..yeah. But I don't know..there's some sort of something there...for me anyway..I thought about calling him this weekend..because I hate leaving "open wounds" for such a long period of time. I even went down to his name a few times in the phone book of my cell phone and just couldn't bring myself to hit talk. Chicken I guess...I guess I was afraid of what his reaction to me would be.
A few final thoughts (not like Jerry Springer final thoughts..) you know you are getting old when your parents start talking about regretting missing things in your life as you were growing up (school plays, parties, etc.) you begin to realize they feel like you're grown up..and that makes me feel grown up..and a little apprehensive about the whole matter! And....pet peeve...I HATE GROSS PEOPLE THAT CAN'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES!! DISGUSTING! I'm living with guys next year..at least I will go into it knowing they are gross!! lol...Anyway....unorganized and crazy thoughts...all thrown in one entry..sorry for the mess....goodnight and sweet dreams to all.....
I read the online journal of a friend I graduated with and it was quite inspirational. He talks about the many people that make up "the new Matt." Then makes an awesome statement (for lack of more articulate words) to those of us that read his journal I guess...he said...."Our virtues are timeless. I will always be a Marine, an EMT, and "The Matt". No matter the circumstance. I want you to remain whoever you are. No matter what happens. Times change and we must adapt, but at the end of the day our friends must still be able to recognize us." In that statement....I realize that I have to remain all the "people" that make up me. They all play a part in the Alison that everyone knows..and some even love. It seemed so easy for him to define the different sides of him but I find myself a little stumped when trying to define myself or selves...as the case may be. Hmm...I'm jealous that he knows himself so well.
Other thoughts...that boy that made me cry Friday...I miss talking to him. I was hoping to see him sign on tonight..is that weird..yeah. But I don't know..there's some sort of something there...for me anyway..I thought about calling him this weekend..because I hate leaving "open wounds" for such a long period of time. I even went down to his name a few times in the phone book of my cell phone and just couldn't bring myself to hit talk. Chicken I guess...I guess I was afraid of what his reaction to me would be.
A few final thoughts (not like Jerry Springer final thoughts..) you know you are getting old when your parents start talking about regretting missing things in your life as you were growing up (school plays, parties, etc.) you begin to realize they feel like you're grown up..and that makes me feel grown up..and a little apprehensive about the whole matter! And....pet peeve...I HATE GROSS PEOPLE THAT CAN'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES!! DISGUSTING! I'm living with guys next year..at least I will go into it knowing they are gross!! lol...Anyway....unorganized and crazy thoughts...all thrown in one entry..sorry for the mess....goodnight and sweet dreams to all.....