Another year over... a new one just begun.
Birthdays suck.
i've deemed them the new "day-you-feel-shitty-because-you-realize-all-the-things-you-haven't-accomplished-yet-so-now-you-feel-like-a-huge-failure day." (readers digest version: FAILURE!!!! day.)
each birthday, all i can think about is... "well now your _ _ and you STILL haven't had your first kiss!" (this year, of course, the blank is 23)
I went to work this morning, and demon boss decided today to take out her anger on me... which isn't new or anything, but she's been really good about it for awhile, and it just kind of sucks that she choose today to start it again. And then she had the NERVE to call me into her office and start off my saying that i'm like a rollercoaster... how someday's i'm better than others. Well duh! Each day is different! When i need to bake more muffins in the morning, that takes up more time than doing less muffins therefore i get behind! duh! And then she says that i need to communicate better with her, because if i'm behind, it's ok for me to ask for help.
I was behind today... because i had a crapload of muffins to make, which automatically puts me behind schedule, but because the store was closed on sunday, nothing was set up from the previous day, which also takes up time, and i had to make donuts for the overnight team which takes out MORE time, so yeah.... i was more than behind. If she knew i was behind (and i know she did), why didn't she OFFER to help me instead of wait for me to ask for help? Honestly, i know when to ask for help and when not to, but no one ever offers to help me. Ever.
Honestly, by this time, i just couldn't have cared any less, as i was already feeling like shit, and just wanted to get out of there, that i didn't say anything to her, i just nodded and got back to business.
She didn't realize it was my birthday, obviously. Its on what we call "the triangles" in the break room (they are clear triangles, and they put up target news, and birthdays/target anniversaries on there every month). It's not like it was hidden information... the whole store couldn've known that it was my birthday had they cared.
History Friend has to work this evening, so we couldn't do anything but go and chat at Scooters in between. She gave me a journal and wrote the nicest inscription on the first page. It was the best part of my day. She said that she thanked God everyday that we were friends, and that she thanks God for sending her a sister. It really made me feel loads better, as i had been crying in my car before i met her. I was crying about everything, work, how my life was going, how i cant stand it here anymore, how i've been thinking just awful morbid things lately. Then seeing her made it all better.
Old Best Friend even called me too and wished me a Happy Birthday, which was really nice of her. She normally doesn't go out of her way for you unless she really cares about you, so despite the fact that she may use me occasionally, it was a nice gesture. She's even been calling me practically everyday since April 1, counting down the days till my birthday, which really was a great present. It's nice to know that someone else is really excited for you too.
The bad thing... when i log onto facebook and its someone elses birthday, they normally get like more than a page of "Happy Birthdays!" but, i only have like 8 or so. It's almost embarrassing and kind of insulting. I'm truely happy to those who did wish me a Happy Birthday, but it really shows you who cares enough to just wish you a happy birthday. And one of them was Quiet Cake Decorator, who im never sure whether or not she likes me, as i can never hear her. That really meant a lot to me, even though i know she was just being polite.
Mom took me to Outback Steakhouse and let me have a big steak and a strawberry daquiri which are my fav! That was really sweet of her considering shes poorer than dirt right now. She gave me National Treasure 2, the big bad special edition, which i wanted and thought was too expensive.
Now though, i'm going to miss Death Cab for Cutie (sad!) and instead do our daily monday routine of watching 24 and Castle.
Understand why birthdays suck for me?
PS: Happy 3th Anniversary Blog! Can you believe it's been 3 years since i started this thing?
i've deemed them the new "day-you-feel-shitty-because-you-realize-all-the-things-you-haven't-accomplished-yet-so-now-you-feel-like-a-huge-failure day." (readers digest version: FAILURE!!!! day.)
each birthday, all i can think about is... "well now your _ _ and you STILL haven't had your first kiss!" (this year, of course, the blank is 23)
I went to work this morning, and demon boss decided today to take out her anger on me... which isn't new or anything, but she's been really good about it for awhile, and it just kind of sucks that she choose today to start it again. And then she had the NERVE to call me into her office and start off my saying that i'm like a rollercoaster... how someday's i'm better than others. Well duh! Each day is different! When i need to bake more muffins in the morning, that takes up more time than doing less muffins therefore i get behind! duh! And then she says that i need to communicate better with her, because if i'm behind, it's ok for me to ask for help.
I was behind today... because i had a crapload of muffins to make, which automatically puts me behind schedule, but because the store was closed on sunday, nothing was set up from the previous day, which also takes up time, and i had to make donuts for the overnight team which takes out MORE time, so yeah.... i was more than behind. If she knew i was behind (and i know she did), why didn't she OFFER to help me instead of wait for me to ask for help? Honestly, i know when to ask for help and when not to, but no one ever offers to help me. Ever.
Honestly, by this time, i just couldn't have cared any less, as i was already feeling like shit, and just wanted to get out of there, that i didn't say anything to her, i just nodded and got back to business.
She didn't realize it was my birthday, obviously. Its on what we call "the triangles" in the break room (they are clear triangles, and they put up target news, and birthdays/target anniversaries on there every month). It's not like it was hidden information... the whole store couldn've known that it was my birthday had they cared.
History Friend has to work this evening, so we couldn't do anything but go and chat at Scooters in between. She gave me a journal and wrote the nicest inscription on the first page. It was the best part of my day. She said that she thanked God everyday that we were friends, and that she thanks God for sending her a sister. It really made me feel loads better, as i had been crying in my car before i met her. I was crying about everything, work, how my life was going, how i cant stand it here anymore, how i've been thinking just awful morbid things lately. Then seeing her made it all better.
Old Best Friend even called me too and wished me a Happy Birthday, which was really nice of her. She normally doesn't go out of her way for you unless she really cares about you, so despite the fact that she may use me occasionally, it was a nice gesture. She's even been calling me practically everyday since April 1, counting down the days till my birthday, which really was a great present. It's nice to know that someone else is really excited for you too.
The bad thing... when i log onto facebook and its someone elses birthday, they normally get like more than a page of "Happy Birthdays!" but, i only have like 8 or so. It's almost embarrassing and kind of insulting. I'm truely happy to those who did wish me a Happy Birthday, but it really shows you who cares enough to just wish you a happy birthday. And one of them was Quiet Cake Decorator, who im never sure whether or not she likes me, as i can never hear her. That really meant a lot to me, even though i know she was just being polite.
Mom took me to Outback Steakhouse and let me have a big steak and a strawberry daquiri which are my fav! That was really sweet of her considering shes poorer than dirt right now. She gave me National Treasure 2, the big bad special edition, which i wanted and thought was too expensive.
Now though, i'm going to miss Death Cab for Cutie (sad!) and instead do our daily monday routine of watching 24 and Castle.
Understand why birthdays suck for me?
PS: Happy 3th Anniversary Blog! Can you believe it's been 3 years since i started this thing?