its like i'm paranoid looking over my back, its like a whirlwind inside of my head
Hello lovelies. Ive got a mother of a rant for you tonight. i'm just going to put it all out on the table. i went to Chicago for the weekend with Old Best Friend to see History Friend because she couldn't come back home to visit us. We'd been planning this since November, and it wasn't until today, Sunday January 25th, that i realized that i had made a horrible mistake. I made the mistake of going with Old Best Friend.
you may be asking yourself, why is this so? you had a good time with her in Minneapolis this summer, why is this different? i'll tell you why. History Friend was involved. One day, Old Best Friend got drunk off of a Long Island Iced Tea, and started drunk dialing History Friend from my cellphone at least 3 times. She kept moaning about how terrible of a friend she is, and how she wants to be better friends with History Friend. (History Friend asked me what the hell was wrong with her, and all i had for her was that she was drunk. Looking back, she just lost someone she thought was a friend (South Dakota Friend), and just realized she was being manipulated. Realizing she has manipulated History Friend several times in the past, she wanted to make anew.) It should have hit me then that Old Best Friend was butting into our friendship.
Yeah. You read correctly.
Everytime that Old Best Friend and i go out with another friend, i am always the third wheel... even if technically she is the third wheel. She butts her way into an outting, and then proceeds to monopolize the conversation with whomever we're with, and all of her attention. It's inevitatble that sometime in the night she will "tease" me about something i do. I say "tease" because thats what she wants ______ to think it is, but i know better than that. I know it's really putting me down.
Take an example from today, the three of us were eating at this place called Clarks, and i pay, as i always do, with a debit card. Old Best Friend pays with cash instead of her credit or debit card. She then sighs and remarks, "I'm so proud of myself, i haven't charged anything this trip, i've paid only in cash."
"Good for you." History friend and i say.
*pause*
"Unlike Alisa, whos only charged this trip."
Now, in situations like these, i can either A. defend myself, or B. shove it off. i cannot shove it off. it is not in my genetic code to shrug off insults. To shrug it off, to me, means that she wins. No one gets away with insulting me so easily.
"I'm using a debit." i defend.
"yeah, but you dont even have cash on you." (she knows because of prior situations where history friend practically begged me to get cash so i could pay for my target merch with my discount... to which i refused. this will be brought up later.)
"Because i dont like paying with cash. i spend cash too easily."
History Friend gets in on this because she doesn't know any better. I've learned that when History Friend grills you about something, it's not personal at all. Within History Friend's genetic code, there's a string or an amino acid that says she must defend her point of view until death. it's not at all an insult to me, it's just what she feels is right, and she has to get that point across or the world will collapse. I dont take it personally anymore.
"I always have cash on me," she starts, "because i can see how much i have and im able to make it last longer." she is nonethewiser to old best friend's scheme like i am.
"i spend it too easily. i like the debit because then i can go online, and see exactly how much is available to me."
"Well, thats not always accurate, Alisa." Old Best Friend starts up again. "What if something doesn't pop up online? Dont you manually balance your checkbook?"
"yes. i go online regularly and check on my account."
"thats not what i'm saying, Alisa." Old Best Friend stresses... pissing me off in the process. "I'm asking if you're balancing your checkbook."
"Yes. i check my account online on a regular basis, so i know what i have spent, and can see if my recent purchase is logged or not."
"That's not balancing your checkbook! Do you pen and paper add up what you've spent and check it with that?"
No. i dont. i check my account on a regular basis, so i dont have to do that. Why is it even any of their business anyway?
"No." i admit.
"Well, then you could be succeptible to spending too much money. what if something is missed and it causes you to go negative?"
(it's happened before. i learn from my mistakes)
History Friend starts telling a minor story of how thats happened to her over a cup of coffee. Still oblivious.
it's always like that. little digs. I use my debit card instead of cash. therefore i'm much more irresponsible than she is.
then it turns to an "Alisa has cooties" phase. she starts asking History Friend for things instead of me, and when i have them, she refuses them. Socks. She wanted socks this morning, she asked History Friend, but i had two clean pairs, so i offered her one. She claimed she wanted lighter socks. In chicago? in 5 degree weather? It wasn't a warmth issue. it was a feet thing. Then at Clarks she asks history friend for a hairtie. i offer her one, but no. it's too thick. Oooor... more like, it came from me, and she doesn't want it. Then, on the L, red line, i happened to have sat away from them accidentally. (long story short, i hate standing on the L because i swear it will lurch as i'm walking and i'll fall flat on my face, so once i'm seated, i'm seated until we get to our stop. So, i sat first, but then they sat away from me.) History Friend was persistantly begging me to join them, but i wasn't budging. History Friend started taking pictures of us. Once we made it to our stop, we switched to the Orange line, working our way up to Midway. Old Best Friend sat across from me. i was fully on to her little bitchiness by then, so i wasn't looking or talking to her at this point. I was observing the L chart above the door. I thought to myself, this would be a great picture to remember. I'd like to show mom how intricate the L lines are. So i take out my camera, and Old Best Friend has the audacity to say to me all snotty-like "dont take my picture. i dont want my picture taken." Good! I wouldnt dream of taking a picture of you right now anyway!
grr. she just ruffled my feathers so much today. Then, once we got to Midway, and parted with History Friend, then i was ok to talk to again, and my cooties had magically gone away.
So i'm making my concerns official. Old Best Friend has been and continues to use me for my friends. This incident tonight is a repeated offense. she does this to me all the time. She was fine the first two nights of our stay, but tonight... good God Almighty.
Other things that went wrong this trip:
1. I got drunk on Friday. First time ever. My choice. It was controlled at her apartment. I had far too much alcohol and mixed like hell. I had two "horny goats" (Bacardi Limon, 7up and a little Cranberry juice), 4 Rolling Rock Beers, about 1/3 bottle of Peppermint Schnapps and a bit of Mango Schnapps. I was knackered. and i got the munchies for chocolate chips and beef summer sausage. I dont know how i feel about the actual drunkenness. Part of me liked it, part of me despised it. I hated, absolutely hated, how i couldnt focus on anything. I felt like my eyes were a step behind my brain. I couldn't focus very well. I liked how i was kicking both of their asses at Phase 10 though i was far more drunk than they were. I hated hated hated hated that i got weepy after we decided to call it a night. i was fine about it until Old Best Friend heard me. Then i had a meltdown. I was overly truthful and i hated it. hated it. i couldn't control myself though. i felt the need to share things i've never shared with anyone but this LJ. I hated hated hated it. They loved it. They loved it so much. I hated every moment. I appreciated it, dont get me wrong, but i curse the moment Old Best Friend woke up. I HATED HATED HATED HATED HATED the puking which i equated to a hangover. I didn't have a headache, but i was very very light headed, and i had to puke a lot. lets just say... dont eat beef summer sausage whilst knackered off your rocker. i do not recommend that. My throat was sore the rest of the day and the mere mention of alcohol made me ridiculously nausous and i couldnt eat very much that day.
2. i learned that i unexpectedly got my period friday. i didn't bring tampons or pads. both of which i was going to need saturday.
3. TMI ALERT: the girls let me borrow tampons and pads... but my flow on "day 2" is ridiculous. the pad they gave me would not withstand an hour i was sure, and the tampon they gave me was without an appicator. I dont know about the rest of you ladies who read this, but i NEEEEED that applicator. i do *not* like tampons without them. I was in a mini hell. I accepted as something was better than nothing but this was my first encounter with a non-applicator tampon. It was painful, but i suppressed it.
4. REALLY TMI ALERT!!!: we ventured out to Borders where, knowing my period like i do, i knew i'd have to change out stuff. There wasn't any toilet paper. Having no toilet paper is never fun, but i can normally make do. I use the pad as a wipe. So that worked out. But i had to pull out a tampon. and put in another applicator-less tampon. it was so painful... men will never understand. Anyway, i somehow got it in, and i was desperate to wash my hands. THERE WAS NO SOAP. i forced maybe a drop or two out but there was NONE. i panicked. would a drop or two suffice? it was going to have to. This was the kind of hell my mom was scared shitless of. I felt trapped in my mom's personal hell.
5. REALLLLLY TMI ALERT!!: so, we leave on our way to the Target where History Friend works. i realize about halfway there... i did not get that tampon in. it's half in half out. and i'm walking in, for all intents and purposes, zero degree weather. plus a dreadful wind.
6. So, once we got there, the first thing i ask is... "History Friend, were is Feminine Products?" i'm dying here. History Friend sees the escalator because it's a two-story Target, and she goes "OH! Lets take a cart up the cart escalator!" she's all about the cart escalator. theres a regular escalator, but between the two of them is a cart escalator where your cart travels beside you. she wants towels, so we go there first. Fetus Fajitas calls. she talks to him for 10 minutes but seems like 20. Where are the feminine products? up or down? i'm scoping but am unsuccessful. she hangs up, we loiter around a little. "Hey, where are the feminine products?" so we mosey down there (literal moseying going on.) and i snatch up the most superest, most absorbant, most applicatored tampon of Playtex. and then History Friend says she's got to go to the bathroom. "Yay! lets go pay and then we'll go to the bathroom!" Ohh... she wants to use the employee one thats right here. Jesus, HF. So she goes to the bathroom for an hour... actual time 5-7 minutes... and then comes out. we go up to the registers. yes! we're checking out! NOOO.... we're looking at the dollar spot items. I contemplate just purchasing the damn things and doing it while they're "window" shopping. i stupidly dont. Old Best Friend wants some Fritos. So we go around the fricken store again, get her some chips, and History Friend wants us to meet Rochelle who happens to be the cashier of the LONGEST DAMN LINE I'VE EVER SEEN. History Friend will wait all day just to be checked out by her. she said so. i'm DYING. I'm really close to strangling History Friend despite my sisterly love for her, she's killing me here. After what seemed like a half an hour, and quite possibly was a half an hour, history friend makes sure we all get the discount. History Friend willingly lets Old Best Friend use it, and insists and persists to suggest that i purchase either my one dollar toothpaste or my one dollar Burts Bees lip balm, ask for cash back, and THEN use my discount on my $10 tampons. It's soooooooo not worth it at this point. History Friend is obsessed with taxes, and pesters and pesters and pesters about the Goddamn discount. I'm DYING. I'm in NO MOOD to deal with this. i want my God. Damn. Tampons, and i want to get into that restroom that's right across and aisle from me. I'm going to strangle her. I love her despite her pestering, but i'm going to kill her. (Long story short: target gives employees a 10% discount if they use cash or a target card. i had neither, wasn't planning on getting either, and i lost out on 60 cents because of that discount. Inside History Friend was crying, whilst i was too busy reviving back into myself again.)
7. During this whole target trip, History friend and Old Best Friend were both asking me if i was ok. im recovering from a hangover... my throat is burning due to all the stomach acid i puked up... i'm on "Day 2" of my period, which is a borderline nightmarish day... and im wearing the wimpiest tampon and pad on earth... and my tampon is half in, half out. I am peachier than keen.
Ack. Ok. I'll write about the good things tomorrow. I just was in desperate need to rant.