(no subject)
So, today, I finally realized what my doctors had been telling me was true. My job isn’t good for me, mentally or physically.
I’m stagnant all day, sitting, doing a repetitive motion for several hours. It’s boring, dirty work, and it barely pays for more then what I put into it. I make max $120 in 30 hours. I am learning nothing, and making no money doing it. They say I might get a real job when they come to me on the waiting lists.
In a year.
Maybe I should quit and work my way to going back to school. I thought, at first, working to get a job would be the best thing for me. My situations changed, and now I am ruining my back daily and killing my potential and self esteem at the same time. The lack of mental stimulation is killing my mood, and I can’t seem to stay focused after the work day is over.
I feel like an ass for considering it, because I know plenty of people, my sister included, would kill for this opportunity to get a job. But it’s not for me, and it never will be. I can’t take these assholes looking down their noses at me like I can’t do anything without their favors, when I’m so goddamn high functioning their training programs can’t handle me and their bosses have told me that.
I can't take a whole year of this. I won't. Not again.
Today’s just gone down the crapper, it seems.
I’m stagnant all day, sitting, doing a repetitive motion for several hours. It’s boring, dirty work, and it barely pays for more then what I put into it. I make max $120 in 30 hours. I am learning nothing, and making no money doing it. They say I might get a real job when they come to me on the waiting lists.
In a year.
Maybe I should quit and work my way to going back to school. I thought, at first, working to get a job would be the best thing for me. My situations changed, and now I am ruining my back daily and killing my potential and self esteem at the same time. The lack of mental stimulation is killing my mood, and I can’t seem to stay focused after the work day is over.
I feel like an ass for considering it, because I know plenty of people, my sister included, would kill for this opportunity to get a job. But it’s not for me, and it never will be. I can’t take these assholes looking down their noses at me like I can’t do anything without their favors, when I’m so goddamn high functioning their training programs can’t handle me and their bosses have told me that.
I can't take a whole year of this. I won't. Not again.
Today’s just gone down the crapper, it seems.