hmmm
Feeling a bit lonely this week, and introspective. Haven't seen Hunter since Tuesday, and work at the Buy More has been annoying.
Hunter's been given a grant to start a new business, the Guru Signal, with a few of his colleagues. Which is awesome for him, not so awesome for us in that he's extremely busy. Beyond that, Saturday he helped to run a Breast Cancer Brawl and helped raise over 1000 bux for charity, and while I would have loved to join him, I had work. So yeah, no cuddlings or anything for a whole week.
I know it seems kind of ridiculous to be upset about it, since we've only been dating a month, but combined with the stress of work, it's just got me more melancholy.
I finally got bumped up to full-time status, which means hurray, I can get medical. The disappointing, and frustrating, part is the realization that I don't think I can afford it. The only tier that has a deductible I can afford winds up being around $100 out of every paycheck... the next one down from that is twice the deductible, but still $50 out of every paycheck. Put that together with the fact that I'll no longer qualify for food stamps, I'll have to pay mom more rent to cover the absence of my dead-beat brother, and that starting in May I'll have to start paying back my student loans again, all means together I won't be making any positive income, and will be digging a hole every month. So I pestered that long to get full-time status, but it doesn't actually get me anything.
So given the financial woes, I started day-dreaming about winning the lottery. It's not going to happen, but even a part of the 174mil would be awesome.
And thinking about the lottery made me think what I'd do with it. Like offer to pay for my nephews to go to college provided that they remained unmarried and childless until after they graduated - which was a condition that my father had set for me. He'd pay for my wedding provided he could pay for my college first.
Which, got me thinking about the fact that Dad'll never be able to pay for my wedding.
So naturally, I'm being emotional and over sensitive, and the back of my mind is worried that Hunter doesn't like me, and that as quickly as we started dating, we'll stop. Unfounded, I know, especially given the clues he's given me that he enjoys my company at least as much as I enjoy his. But the worry is still there.
Four days off from work, to do arts and collect myself, and hopefully hang out with Hunter... It should get better.
Hunter's been given a grant to start a new business, the Guru Signal, with a few of his colleagues. Which is awesome for him, not so awesome for us in that he's extremely busy. Beyond that, Saturday he helped to run a Breast Cancer Brawl and helped raise over 1000 bux for charity, and while I would have loved to join him, I had work. So yeah, no cuddlings or anything for a whole week.
I know it seems kind of ridiculous to be upset about it, since we've only been dating a month, but combined with the stress of work, it's just got me more melancholy.
I finally got bumped up to full-time status, which means hurray, I can get medical. The disappointing, and frustrating, part is the realization that I don't think I can afford it. The only tier that has a deductible I can afford winds up being around $100 out of every paycheck... the next one down from that is twice the deductible, but still $50 out of every paycheck. Put that together with the fact that I'll no longer qualify for food stamps, I'll have to pay mom more rent to cover the absence of my dead-beat brother, and that starting in May I'll have to start paying back my student loans again, all means together I won't be making any positive income, and will be digging a hole every month. So I pestered that long to get full-time status, but it doesn't actually get me anything.
So given the financial woes, I started day-dreaming about winning the lottery. It's not going to happen, but even a part of the 174mil would be awesome.
And thinking about the lottery made me think what I'd do with it. Like offer to pay for my nephews to go to college provided that they remained unmarried and childless until after they graduated - which was a condition that my father had set for me. He'd pay for my wedding provided he could pay for my college first.
Which, got me thinking about the fact that Dad'll never be able to pay for my wedding.
So naturally, I'm being emotional and over sensitive, and the back of my mind is worried that Hunter doesn't like me, and that as quickly as we started dating, we'll stop. Unfounded, I know, especially given the clues he's given me that he enjoys my company at least as much as I enjoy his. But the worry is still there.
Four days off from work, to do arts and collect myself, and hopefully hang out with Hunter... It should get better.