Disintegration Chapter One: A Lesson In Darkness

[aliquoricewand]

Chapter One
A Lesson In Darkness

"I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed"
~ Snow Patrol, Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

14th February 1977

"A Mudblood like yourself should know better than to be out wandering alone. After all, you don't have Snape to protect you anymore Evans."

They circled in front of her, black cloaks flickering out behind them with every movement. Their piercing eyes focused on her, waiting like vultures for the only thing they wanted, to see her break.

Mulciber held her wand up in front of her face, his thin fingers twisting it this way and then that. His eyes teasing with every movement but she continue to look into the distance, refusing to flinch. The graze of the pavement was stinging her left hand and side, and the small trickle of blood from their initial strike had now run its way down to the bottom of her cheek, leaving behind a heavy, sticky feeling on her skin but she refused to reach up and wipe it. Instead she returned to staring aimlessly into the distance waiting for their next move.

Yet, it seemed that they were as unsure as she as to what was to come next. The small immodest side of her was forced to acknowledge that they had probably not expected to catch her off-guard as they did and, consequently, had not planned further than the initial attack. So, to bide the time, they would play on the only thing that had the potential to affect her every time. Severus.

"You see we always knew he'd come to his senses. We were just biding our time until he realised that you were just another useless little Mudblood."

"You don't know anything about it," she spat angrily, momentarily forgetting her earlier decision to stay silent.

"Don't I?" Mulciber questioned her. "You see, I know a lot more about it than you think. Wake up mudblood, don't you read the Prophet, we might as well be at war now and everyone has to pick a side. Did you really think he was going to pick yours?"

She paused slightly, struggling to regain her composure, had everything become as black and white as war, the good side and bad side. She refused in Severus' case to believe the lines were that clear let alone already drawn. "If you honestly believe," she warned him, her voice as strong as she could manage, "That he's going to follow you blindly then you still have a lot to learn."

Her words triggered something in Mulciber and suddenly it was as though he finally realised that she was at his mercy and a small smile teased his pale, drawn face and he spun her wand quickly around his fingers once more. "Hear that Avery," he told the blonde to his left who had remained silent throughout the exchange hands stuffed in his pockets as he watched the exchange with a mingled curiosity. "She thinks we have a lot to learn about Severus. Maybe we should show her what he taught us yesterday."

Avery nodded, finally accepting his cue, 'Tell us Mudblood," he spoke at last. "Did you know how many dark curses he knew?"

She didn't respond, her mind momentarily captured by their words. Lying would make her seem ignorant and foolish. To admit the truth would be to admit they were right. For she had known from the beginning of his addiction to the darkest of magic, an obsession that was both impressive and petrifying, for she had always known that the knowledge he sought would be lethal in the wrong hands.

'Or how many he is learning?" Avery continued, his confidence growing as he realised how they had her both physically and metaphorically back into a corner.

'Or perhaps you'd rather we showed you," Mulciber sneered. "Perhaps that would jog your memory?"

The two exchanged a glance and Avery drew his wand. For a moment Lily could have sworn she saw fear flash into his eyes, however, it was instantly replaced with anticipation as he tightened his grip around the wand's end. Still Mulciber held hers, suspended between his thumb and forefinger letting it rock gently. All three pairs of eyes turned to watch it as it slowly came to still. Mulciber raised his arm, and with a final vindictive smile in Lily's direction flung her wand behind him without a glance. He waited, until he heard the sound of wood collide with the pavement before his smiled turned into a cunning and satisfied grin. "Ready for your lesson Mudblood. For there are a lot of things I know about dear Severus that you don't."

Lily closed her eyes, her teeth biting the inside of her mouth in a determined attempt not to cry out at whatever came next.

"Hey," a shout sounded in the distance, and her teeth relaxed as her eyes shot open to look up and see the familiar cause. Mulciber and Avery did not turn, knowing just as much as Lily had whose yell that was, and the pair of them sprinted off over the fields without a backwards glance.

A little to Lily's surprise Remus reached her first, kneeling down beside her. "What happened?" he asked breathlessly.

"They just corned me. Took my wand before I even saw them coming," she added glancing around the pavement.

"Here," James arrived at her side holding out her wand. "Took off somewhere into the forest the bastards."

"Thanks," she moved to stand up but Remus put a gloved hand on her shoulder.

"Just wait a second. Are you sure you're not hurt? How badly did they try and curse you?"

She shook her head as she looked at him. "Nothing major. They seemed to be here more for the chat than anything else."

"What did they want to talk about?" James asked sitting down beside her.

She hesitated for a second. "Nothing new. Just the same crap they've been repeating for years."

He nodded, glancing a Remus. "Are you sure you don't want to go to Madame Pomfrey for that cut?" the latter asked, she finally reached up and touched and the sticky trickle which had reached her chin.

"Oh no. I'm fine I promise. I'd rather just go to the village and enjoy the rest of my day. They want me to go running scared I'm won't give them the satisfaction."

The two boys exchanged another look, before Remus hesitantly agreed. "Ok. We should mend that cut though," he told her, "You're better at healing spells than me," he added looking at James.

James drew out his wand and raised it towards her face. "You mind?" he asked.

"I'm sure you've had practice," she muttered, raising her eyebrows at him.

He smiled. "By that I'm going to assume you mean Quidditch," he joked, although it was impossible to ignore his awkwardness as swished his wand across the cut in a quick precise movement.

"Thank you," she muttered, pulling a tissue out of her pocket to wipe her cheek. She smiled as she her fingers stroked the repaired skin before she held her grazed hand out to him. "This as well?" she asked him, and with another swish of his wand the graze began to heal. "You should probably go to Pomphrey to check it when we get back, not as good with grazes," he admitted sheepishly, beginning to brush a small patch of mud on her cloak to avoid reaching her eyes.

She looked at her hand, "It's good," she reassured him. "Thanks. The two of you don't mind if I walk into the village with you? I'm meeting Lauren in The Three Broomsticks."

"Not at all," James replied as Remus added, "The more the merrier." He held his hand out to help her up. She took it awkwardly and rose to her feet. She brushed down her robes, grateful that it had been a dry day, and tucked her now retrieved wand back inside of them.

They walked in silence the rest of the way into the village. James had made a futile attempt at small talk but for once his heart didn't seem to be in it and he gave up leaving each of them to their own thoughts. She hadn't realised how cold it was until they began to walk, and she pulled her coat tighter across her chest, as a bitter wind wipped about her cheeks. Remus kept shooting her sideways glances but she didn't notice. He gave her another glance, before looking at James, who was walking with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

Had her mind been focused she too would have noticed the awkwardness of the sitiuation. However, her mind was still distracted by Avery's words. Had Snape finally choosen their side. Of course she knew of his obsession with Dark Magic and of the pressure he had been under from others in his house but was he now the one teaching new spells to bully people like her. She wondered if her refusal of his apology had tipped him over the edge. After all, had she not openly accused him of becoming a Death Eater, and had he not denied it.

The word was unforgivable, she told herself for the hundreth time, as was the way he treated other Muggleborns. They had not spoken all summer. She had spent most of the time cooped up inside the house with her Dad, aside from a two week stay with Lauren, grateful to be able to avoid both Severus and Petunia, who had spent the majority with Vernon Dursley, her newest boyfriend whom her sister had met in the Spring. Then came the September 1st, then autumn, then Christmas, and now months later she had resided herself to the fact that they would might never speak again.

The village was full. Being the first Hogsmead visit of the Spring Term it seemed everyone, students and professors, had decided to take a break. She glanced at a fourth year couple she knew to be Slytherins sitting side by side on a bench laughing. The way she blushed as he placed an arm around her and the hesitation of his moves as he relaxed his head on top of hers showed it was their first date. Had Avery been right, she wondered bitterly, had the time come when there could no longer be innocent bystanders and everyone was forced to pick their side? Had that couple, so innocent in their initial teenage years, already picked their side? Surely, she thought to herself, everyone had more time.

The Three Broomsticks was naturally crammed, yet Rosmerta, the young barmaid that had only taken over the running of the pub a year before, glanced up and waved at James as they entered. He winked in return heading to the bar leaving Remus and Lily search for Lauren.

They found her in a booth, flicking through the Daily Prophet a look on her face showed obvious annoyance at whatever she was reading. She looked up with a frown as they approached her, "Nice of you to finally join me," she muttered sarcastically at Lily, folding the paper.

"Sorry," Lily replied squeezing herself into the opposite side of the booth.

Lauren looked at Remus for a second, who was hovering awkwardly by the edge of the table and then back to Lily, "What's going on?" she asked. She moved along so Remus could take a seat beside her. Tucking a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear she frowned at them both. "Well?"

Lily began slowly to tell the whole story until the moment when Remus and James had turned up. Lauren sat and listened, reaching her hand across the table in an attempt to grab Lily's, but Lily used her movement as a chance to steal the paper, leaving Remus to continue the story alone. She turned it round so she could see the headline, 'Ministry Appeal For More Information Over Auror Disappearances.' A sick feeling began to rise in her throat.

"We should report it," Lauren declared angrily. "Let's go now and find McGonagall."

"What's the point?" Lily asked, her eyes scanning the article. One question kept repeating itself over and over in her head: was this really a war?

"What don't you report it?" her friend urged. "Neither you or Mary ever report it. You take it and they get away with it again and again."

"Because there's no point," Lily replied, the conversation was getting old, her eyes still reading the Prophet. "They might get a detention and that doesn't mean anything to them."

"But why isn't Dumbledore expelling them?" Lauren continued.

"Because he can keep an eye of them in Hogswarts," James replied, he had returned to table carrying four Butterbeers, he placed them down and passed one to Lily. "Here you go."

"Thanks," she replied, not quite meeting his eyes, now the shock had worn off she could feel the tension between them. They had not had a conversation since after the Defence exam last May. Both of them were too embarrassed to raise the subject and it seemed somehow a mutual agreement had been reached that it was simply easier to ignore the other instead. He was stung by the rejection. She was embarrassed by what she had said to him, he was arrogant yes, he bullied yes, but he hadn't deserved some of it. The unspoken truth was that she felt stupid for letting him get under skin, for him to only let her down once again.

He sat down and took a sip of his drink. "They can push it but only so far." His voice was quieter than Lily had ever heard it, as he chose his words carefully and she finally looked up at him. He looked older than she had ever seen him, and it struck how, from behind the glass, his eyes betrayed everything he was trying so carefully to mask. "But outside who knows what they'll be trained to do." He indicated the article Lily was still holding. "They're everywhere."

Lauren snatched the paper back from Lily, knocking some of her drink onto the table. "Its bollocks," she muttered.

"Maybe," Lily told them. "But Avery seemed quite sure we'd find our answers in there," she indicated the paper. "Asked me if I read the Prophet."

"He asked you if you read the Prophet?" James asked curiously.

Lily nodded as she took a sip of her drink.

"Who cares what that sod thinks," Lauren mutted, raising her tankard and taking a long slug.

Silence took over the table as they drank. Lily was at a loss of what to say. She looked up at James but he was looking around the pub as if searching for something. Remus finished his drink and put it down on the table and James quickly followed suit. "We should get going," he said, dusting the front of his robes.

Remus nodded turning to Lily. "You sure you're alright?"

"Of course. Thank you both for your help but please go and enjoy your day. I'm sure you have supplies you need to be getting," she hoped she had managed to keep the disapproval out of her voice. "Have a nice day," she added with a smile.

The boys nodded and turned to leave the pub, James continued to look about him. "Oh and Potter," she called after him. "Please let it go," his eyes bore into hers for a second but she refused to look away. "Please," she repeated. "You can't do anything about it."

He broke away from her gaze and seemed to be fighting an inner struggle before he slowly nodded.

"Thank you."

He glanced up and down the main street of Hogsmeade once more, but there was still no sign of them. A small group of what James' recognised to be Hufflepuff fifth years had congregated at the towards the far end, where the path began to snake up to Hogwarts, and he glared at them through the glass for blocking his view to the rest of the village. Of course he knew that they were both long gone, probably back in their Common Room now laughing and joking with friends about the whole incident. The thought made him clench his hand tighter still around the wand inside the pocket of his robes.

"Prongs," he turned to see Remus staring at him, holding several packets up to his face. "How many Dungbombs did Padfoot want?

"Can't remember," James shrugged, returning his gaze to the window. "Get him a couple of packets for now."

'You want anything?" Remus pressed.

"Nope, not really," he replied, turning again in the direction of the Three Broomsticks as Remus continued to hover beside him. "And whatever you want to say Moony do us both a favour and just say it," he told him.

"You're not seriously going to go after them are you?"

"I said I wasn't, didn't I," he responded.

"Technically you didn't say anything, you just nodded."

"Same thing.".

"Yet you've been staring out the window ever since we got in here and rather forcefully at Lucy Robinson."

He turned away to face Remus, "Who?"

"The brunette you're giving the death glare to for the last five minutes, she's Lucy Robinson, a Hufflepuff prefect," Remus clarified.

"Perhaps Hogsmead is just losing its charm," he countered stubbornly, lowering his voice to a whisper. "We don't exactly limit our visits to Hogsmead weekends now do we?"

Remus smiled. "True, but either way I think you need to let it go."

"I'm sick of school," he muttered, taking the packets from Remus' hand and strolling to the counter, picking up a few items as he weaved his way through the masses of students who had flocked to the shop.

"They weren't all Padfoot's, some of those were mine," Remus pointed out, indicating the pile that was forming in James' arms as they reached the queue for the till.

"I won't get you a birthday present or something," he answered quickly knowing it was a pointless lie, before continuing as though he had never been interupted. "I mean what is the point of turning of age this year if we can't actually do anything with it."

"If you can't go after Mulciber without getting detention for it you mean."

"Yeah, getting detention is definitely my worry here," he sighed. "I just want to do something other than homework."

"You're spending time on homework now?"

James shot him a look. "I mean there's a whole world outside, a world that is apparently falling apart and the only responsibility anyone gives us it to report it to a member of staff who will, and I quote from my last session with McGonagall, handle it accordingly."

"So do that?" Remus offered lamely.

"What's the point?" He rested his products on the countered and pushed a frustrated hand through his hair. "It'll go to their Head of House and Slugy won't do anything about it will he?"

"Oh I don't know about that," Remus objected. "He loves Lily, she is his favourite pupil. He might do more than you give him credit for."

"And potentially ruin his contacts, he has his favourites sure but he also understands the importance of wizarding surnames."

"It's gets you out of detention often enough."

Before James could retort the sales woman began cashing up their good and he reached inside of his robes for change.

"There is something you can do about it," Remus reminded him casually as they left the shop. "It might not seem like anything but you can kick their arse at Quidditch next week. Remember you're all that stands between Mulciber winning the cup in his last year. You might want to focus your efforts on that rather than seeking revenge for Lily."

There it was. The words that James had been half waiting for with nervous anticipation, although he wasn't sure if this was because he didn't want to talk to Remus about it or didn't want to think about the fact full stop. "Do you want to go anywhere else?" James asked as they stepped outside, he checked his watch. "Padfoot and Pete should be out of detention by now."

Remus checked his own watch, Filch would surely not have let them out of detention before midday. "Um, not really. Perhaps we should head back," he agreed anyway.

"And I'm not seeking revenge for Lily," James added as they began making their way back up the path.

"I'm sorry?"

"You said that I needed to seek revenge for Evans well I don't. I want to find him because he's an arsehole and a bully who seems to be getting away with it because no one is saying anything. He can't go around getting away with this shit just because his parents happen to both have been wizards and hers weren't, it's not right. I'd want to go after them whoever they'd been hexing."

"But it was Lily," Remus reminded him.

"It doesn't matter who it was," he replied evenly. "I'd still want to hex their heads off."

"Exactly," Remus countered fairly. "And yet you haven't gone after them. Sure you've spent half an hour gazing the streets of Hogsmead for them but you could have gone after them by now. You could have gone over the fields after them an hour ago but you didn't."

"Moony, I'm really not sure what you're saying."

"Aren't you?"

"Not really, no."

"As you said not getting detention is the least of your worries so why haven't you gone after them?"

He considered it for a second. "So you want me to go after them now."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Since when have you not done something because I didn't want you to do it? I've told you plenty of things are bad ideas in the past and you've done them anyway."

"That's usually because you're either wrong, being a pansy, or a prefect, you can take your pick," James replied with a smirk.

Remus rolled his eyes again, "And you're still avoiding the question," he pointed out.

James looked at him. "She asked me not to," he admitted.

Remus said nothing just nodded.

"No more smart remarks about it Moony."

"I thought it was a taboo topic to be honest," Remus told him. "I mean after that day, the Defense Exam, I figured you were done and we weren't to speak of it."

"Nothings taboo," he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It never stopped Pads anyway."

"Subtlety never was his strong point."

"True."

"It's not yours either," Remus reminded him, "Which brings us back to the point at hand."

James sighed. "Look, what happened, well," he frowned slightly. "She said her piece and I heard her loud and clear. I'm letting it go."

"Letting it?"

"Seriously Moony, grammar technicalities now. It's like having a conversation with my mother."

"You're not correcting it."

"There's nothing to correct."

"Ok."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. "Sometimes I hate you Moony," James mumbled.

"And then," Mary was saying, the Gryffindor sixth-year girls dormitory hung with a silent expectation, "Well," she blushed heavily and began to fumble with the duvet, "Well, then he kissed me." Finally she gave into temptation and sunk her head into the covers.

"You kissed," Bertha squealed clapping her hands, while Hestia and Lauren punched the air. Mary nodded slowly looking up a little from the duvet, her cheeks still burning bright red. "Oh I so knew it."

All five girls had flung themselves onto Mary's bed the she had arrived back from Hogsmead for the breakdown of her date, her first ever Hogsmead date to be precise, with Simon the Hufflepuff, who she'd silently fancied since they were paired together in a fourth year Ancient Runes project. The evidence of which was the mass of clothes, hair and beauty products that were now strewn about the dormitory on every surface and now ignored thanks to the more pressing matter of the post-date breakdown. "And?" Bertha pressed, leaning forward slightly.

"And, what?" Mary asked quickly, turning so she could hide slightly behind her long blonde hair.

Hestia rolled her eyes from the position at the head of the bed, where she had been considering an Every Flavoured Bean with great care. "And what?" she repeated incredulously, putting the bean back in the box. "And, what's happening now? Are you two officially dating?"

"Are you his girlfriend?" Bertha shot in.

"I think so," Mary mumbled blushing even brighter. "I mean, yes I suppose I am. We're meeting up tomorrow in the library to study. We have that Runes test on Tuesday."

"Romantic," Lauren grinned whilst Bertha clapped her hands excitedly once more.

"Oh, leave her alone," Lily smiled.

Lauren lent forward and gave her a hug. "Its so great Mary, we're so happy for you. Anyway," she turned to Bertha, "Don't think you're getting off easily, how was your day?"

Bertha gave a small shudder. "I think Michael and I are meant to be just friends. It'll be better for all parties."

"We warned you," Hestia told her.

"Oh, then we should have warned you. The guy is such a bore."

"He's not that bad," Mary and Lauren interjected.

"Please, even Lily said you'd have a more intellectual conversation with a piece of wood."

"I was not that harsh," Lily argued defensively.

"Yes you were," Hestia reminded her. "After you got stuck talking to him at Slughorn's Christmas party, you remember, when you were trying to avoid Snape. I think the punch may have loosened your tongue but still those were your words."

"The punch shouldn't have had the ability to loosen my tongue," Lily pointed out.

Hestia shrugged. "You should be grateful it did, could you imagine having to deal with it sober."

"Exactly," Bertha agreed. "I could have done with done with some of that punch. Well, I would have settled for boring conversation instead of no conversation. I mean seriously a plank of wood might have had more to say." She leant over and took the box of sweets from Hestia.

"I'd be careful," Hestia warned her, "Lily apparently chooses the box with all the weird flavours in."

Lily looked up from yesterday's Prophet. "They're Every Flavoured Beans," she pointed out. "They're supposed to be weird. It's sort of the point."

"So by friends you mean?" Lauren asked Bertha, ignoring Lily and Hestia.

"Someone that I will acknowledge in the corridors and who might prove useful to copy homework off occasionally."

This time it was Lily who rolled her eyes as Mary exclaimed, "That's mean."

"Harsh but true," Bertha replied as Hestia nodded in agreement.

"At least he's not terrible to look at."

Bertha shook her head. "I don't need eye candy are you lot forgetting Sirius Black is in our class. Speaking of," it was the opening she had been waiting for. "I heard he's got a bit of a thing for the Head Girl."

"Dorcas?" Lily asked.

"Apparently."

Lauren laughed. "Oh let it be true. Please let it be true. Could you imagine him dating the Head Girl it would just be too perfect for words."

"And I thought James liking Lily was stretching the trouble-makers," Bertha mumbled.

"Oh speaking of," Hestia looked at Lily. "I saw him in the library this afternoon, before I thought anyone would have been back. He asked after you, said he'd better let you explain why though. I nearly forgot about it."

"Oh, Lily waved her hand. "It was nothing don't worry about it."

Lauren who had been absent-mindedly fiddling with Mary's hair looked up with a start. "It was not nothing. It was a pretty big something actually."

"Can we not make this a bigger deal than it has to be," Lily asked. "Please."

"Make what a bigger deal than it has to be?" Bertha asked, watching as Lauren and Lily stared at each other with equal amounts of indignation.

"Lily," Mary asked softly. "What happened?"

Lily shook her head. "How much did Potter tell you?" she asked Hestia.

"Not much. Just asked if you were back yet and I said I hadn't seen you. Don't know what he was doing in the library but he seemed to have something pretty big on his mind. He didn't even mention the Slytherin game and that's all he's been able to talk about for nearly a month now."

Lily sighed heavily. "Can you lot please promise not to over react?"

"That depends on what you're going to say," Hestia responded, but still she nodded slowly.

"I was already running late to Hogsmeade," Lily told them. "I realised I still had that Charms book that was meant to be back to the library on Thursday but Mary was going to be late for her date so I said I'd just walk in when I'd been to the Library and meet Lauren in the Three Broomsticks but then I got distracted in the Common Room talking to Chris about his healer application. Anyway, by this time most people were in the village and there was no one really walking down from Hogwarts. As I was walking along the path I got hexed by Muliber. He was with Avery. It wasn't that bad, their initial hex had cut my face and they had my wand but they didn't seem to know what they were doing to be honest. I don't think they'd followed me or anything," she added. "Just that they'd seen me and thought why the hell not, they never really need an excuse for these things." She felt a regret at saying this and stopped when she caught the nervous look on Mary's face.

"Oh my-"

"Are you alright?"

"You've told McGonagall right?"

"How did James know this?"

Bertha and Hestia's questions came at Lily all at once. "No I haven't told McGonagall," she told Bertha. "Let's be honest what's the point? She can't do anything about it unless she sees it and it's just my word against theirs."

"But your word is pretty reliable."

"Irrelevant, whose word it is. It's still mine against theirs."

"But hang on," Bertha interrupted before Hestia could argue. "If you haven't told anyone, I mean we didn't even know, how did James know?"

"I was getting to that bit." She shot a look at Hestia and she feel silent to hear the rest. "He was coming into the village with Remus, don't know why it was just the two of them but it was. Potter just yelled something and Mulciber and Avery scarpered. Perhaps they were just surprised someone else was around or they couldn't be bothered to take on Potter, I don't know but they just ran off. Potter healed my cut and he and Remus walked me to the village. So, I'm fine," she concluded quickly, although her voice betrayed the fact that she was trying to convince herself of this just as much as the others. "Everything was fine in the end we all had a drink in the Three Broomsticks and everyone went about the rest of their day as if nothing had happened."

"But something did happen," Lauren reminded her. "A pretty big something," she repeated Hestia's words with a nod in her direction. "So everything is most certainly not fine."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you, can we please try not to make this worse?"

"Ok sure, but what happens if Potter and Lupin aren't there next time, how far are we going to let them go before we say something."

Hestia looked at Lily, "Lauren's right, you can't keep letting them get away with this."

"I've already told you it's-"

"But," Hestia and Lauren interrupted.

"There's no use," but it was not Lily who spoke these words and the four girls turned to stare at Mary who had finally spoken. "Lily's right, there's no use. We've tried reporting it and it makes no difference. To be honest it seems to spur them on. It's not fair and it's not right but there is nothing we can do about it."

The dormitory fell into silence, as each of the five girls were left to their thoughts. Lily and Mary were refusing to meet anyone else's eyes while Lauren and Hestia were staring at each other as though both daring the other to argue. "Wait," Bertha exclaimed. "Did you say you and Potter had a drink."

Lily looked up. "Yeah, in the Three Broomsticks," she said, not sure where this was going.

"Wow," Bertha said. "I bet that was awkward."

"Oh yeah," Lauren agreed with a nod. "You could cut the tension with a knife. Between the whole hexing and the fact it was Lily and James and the conversation that was mostly about the treatment of potential Death Eaters who may or may not be trained to kill us all, it was probably the most uncomfortable drink I've have since, well, ever really. After all, I don't think I've seen you and James together since," she paused, whether to actually consider an answer or for dramatic effect Lily wasn't sure. "It's been a while," she finished lamely.

"Yeah it has."

"Well he used to be around rather a lot," Bertha reminded them with a smile. "I guess it was-"

"After the Defence exam," Lily finished lamely. "Yeah I know."

"Honestly," Hestia's eyes shot up to her, Lily noted she had been fixed on arranging Mary's hair. What had happened last summer between Lily and James was a conversation she tended to steer clear of at all costs. "But that was like over six months ago. You haven't spoken to him in that long."

Lily shook her head. "It wasn't like we were close friends before," she reminded them, not entirely sure why she felt the need to defend herself.

"Not like Snape," Bertha pressed.

"No, not like Severus." What had happened between Lily and Severus was a conversation she tried to avoid at all costs.

"But that's different," Hestia pointed out. "I mean sure you two were close but only because you chose to be. You and James are in the same house. You have mutual friends, the same classes, actually aren't you the only two Gryffindors taking Arithmacy," Lily nodded, "And yet you haven't spoke."

"Not really no." There was silence for a moment. "But we need to."

"You do?" she asked inquisitively.

Lily nodded. "Just to say thanks. I mean it could have been a lot worse if they hadn't turned up."

Hestia gave her a weird look, before grabbing the box of sweets back. "Enough of this talk. Tell us more about your date Mary," she teased, watching as her friend's blush rose once more.

"Lily," the whisper came out the dark from the bed next to hers. "I know you're awake I can hear you tossing and turning."

"I'm awake," she whispered, rolling onto her back and placing her hands behind her head. A few seconds later she heard a quick padding of feet and a weight at the end of her bed, and someone drawing the hangings around them. "Lumos," Hestia muttered into the darkness, the soft light from her wand reflecting off the hangings and casting the bed in a strange red glow.

"You ok?" Lily asked her.

"Yeah," she replied quickly, just some things on my mind that's all. "You?"

"It's been a strange day."

Hestia nodded, pulling Lily's dressing gown that had been discarded at the end of the bed around her shoulders and over her Falmouth Falcon pyjamas. She tucked her bobbed brown hair under the towelled hood "It has."

"I still can't believe you spent Hogsmeade hiding in the library."

"I was not hiding," she defended. "I was avoiding an unnecessary confrontation."

Lily raised an eyebrow at her.

"Some Valentine's weekend," Hestia muttered bitterly tucking her feet underneath her.

"It could have been worse," Lily reminded her. "Hestia," she leant her head back and stared at the hangings above the bed. "How did everything end up like this?"

Hestia shook her head. "I don't know."

"Please be careful Lily." She seemed to be picking her words extremely carefully. "What happened last summer shook him up more than you realised. Things had been strained between the boys all year, I think it had something to do with whatever James saved Snape from, James won't tell anyone the details, but something snapped in him after the OWLs. I don't know what exactly but I think you really hurt him."

"I didn't mean to."

"I know," Hestia told her. "It's just that you seemed to be warming towards him after all those rumours with Snape and I think he thought he might have finally had a shot with you but he screwed it up."

"I-"

"You defended him to Severus," Hestia reminded her, before she could argue.

"Yes, but," she paused considering it. She had defended him, something she often regretted admitting to Hestia. She had called Severus ungrateful for badmouthing him, of course she had followed it by agreeing with the sentiment that he was an arrogant bully but they had been empty words said as an immediate reaction, yet she had been forced to reconsider them. After all, he had shown a different side to himself and since he had saved Severus' life, the circumstances of which still remained firmly clouded in mystery although she could not shake off the impression that it had had something to do with Remus, they had been growing closer. It was ever so subtle, something that would not have been noticed by any outsiders perhaps but it was still there and slowly she had began to try and get to know him. It had taken the majority of the summer to allow herself to accept that the reason she had been so upset that day is that she had finally started to look at James in a different light for him to go and regress right back the bully that Severus had always demanded that he was. This time using her a trade off in this stupid feud of theirs which seemed never ending. She remembered his words, Go out with me Evans and I'll never set a wand on old Snivellus again. "I thought he was changing."

Hestia shook her head. "He might be growing up a little sure, but he's not changing, he hasn't changed. He saved Snape's life because that's who he is, not because he's becoming a better person. Sure he acts like a twat a great deal of the time and, yes, he's a troublemaker but he's not a bad person Lily." She sighed softly, "Look, I will never say what the two of them do to Snape is right but its not just James and Sirius. What's being going has been going on since first year and between all three of them. You have a tendency to get involved in things between them Lily. Its sort of what you do, or what you used to do."

"I shouldn't have needed to defend Severus in the first place."

"He knows this," Hestia implored. "Honestly, you might find it hard to believe but he knows it was wrong and that he made a mistake but it doesn't mean he's alright with what was said." She shrugged. "Look, I know you and Snape were friends but James really liked you and you knew that too. All I'm saying is Snape isn't innocent in this. He plays as good as he gets when it comes to hexing James and yet when James does it back you get so angry with him. Do you think Snape defends you and Mary to his friends but when James tried to defend you you rounded on him."

"Yes well I think I well and truly learnt my lesson that day."

Hestia let out a faint grimace. "I think you should talk to James, believe me it would be nice for you two to put everything behind you. All I'm saying is your words hurt him just as much as his actions hurt yours that day."

She sat in silence for a moment.

Lily nodded. "Do you think it's war Hestia?" she whispered the question, lowering her eyes to the duvet with the hope that she might not sure the fear in her eyes.

"It's starting to seem that way. I don't know much more than anyone else to be honest but Charlus, Potter, James' dad," she clarified quickly, "He seems to the think it has the potential to come to that. He's the only adult I know that'll ever really speak honestly about the whole thing, everyone else keeps telling us we're in school we're much too young, that we should finish our education and try not to let these things bother us until they have to."

"I miss first year," Lily muttered.

Hestia nodded and lay down on the bed.

"No drama, less homework, no responsibility."

"No boys," Hestia added.

Lily smiled. "No boys," she agreed.

"Is it really over," Hestia asked softly. "You and Snape?"

Lily sighed heavily, wondering whether or not she could finally bring herself to say the words out loud. "Yeah, it's really over." Hestia lent forward and placed her hand in hers. "Bloody Slytherin's," she muttered.

Lily looked at the maroon and gold bedspread and smiled. "Bloody Slytherins," she agreed.

Prologue: One Final Test | Chapter Two: A Victory of Sorts