Quantizing friendship

May 13, 2008 02:02

I have a promise I make to good friends: "My ears, my shoulder, and my arms are always open to you." This is something I take very seriously ( Read more... )

random, thoughts

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candrodor May 13 2008, 08:33:44 UTC
First of all, I'd just like to say I think it's awesome that you're friends with a cat. And that you actually know them. So many people just wouldn't take the time.

I've definitely got a few different types of friends. There's one friend I would tell absolutely anything now, and who I would always be there for. We haven't actually spoken much in the past year, despite being in the same school, but I know the bond is still there. When we do talk, it's instant reconnection. And... I I *think* he's got me on the same sort of level of friendship, although I know that a few years ago, there was a time when in a rough patch he went to someone he barely knew (probably the best then), and now he's got a girlfriend, who seems to have completely superceded lots of people, but I really don't mind. Now, at least. Example 1 of friendships being able to be on the same level both ways, even when you might not expect it~

But then this year, I've ended up friends with two people splitting up and getting back together and then I think splitting up again (headdesksighblah?). I think I've got the "My ears, my shoulder, and my arms are always open to you." with them. Both of them. On the other hand, I'm quite aware that I'm quite reserved in general. I've definitely got masses more openness online, and to some extent, more trust even, although I guess that's partly down to trust... not mattering as much here? I really do think the only thing I'm not telling most people is gay, and once that's done with, I'll have a good few more people I'd tell *anything*. But I feel bad where there's an imbalance of these things. I mean, there's one friend I just don't feel comfortable enough around to tell lots of things, but he's told me pretty much anything/everything. Like I feel I don't deserve that trust.

Conclusion: there's too much going on in friendships to try to categorise them too precisely, although if you did, they might include the categories you mention. And on top of that, they keep changing. Confuuusing. As for Facebook, I'd be more inclined to consider them just 'contacts', but 'friends' sounds so much more appealing and less stand-offish, so we can roll with that.

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