Another year
Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. It's also my nephew's birthday, because he was born prematurely when my sister got the news of my diagnosis. Man, that was a shit day. Luckily, nephew was born just fine.
And: I am also just fine.
Four years.
One more year, and I'm past the magical five year survival point. Yes, people do get recurrences after that but far far less. Actually, most of the risk is already gone, at four years. Most recurrences happen in the first one to two years.
How am I four years on?
Physically I'm in pretty good shape. No ill effects from the surgery, other than patch of my right arm behind the upper arm that's completely devoid of sensation due to nerves being cut to remove lymph nodes. And of course the scar, but no problems with that either, and it's cosmetically pretty damn good.
Chemo.. hair is back, just as it was before. I did have early menopause and a few associated symptoms with that, which I won't bore you with here. I still have a few ongoing issues hormonally, going up over the menopause level and then back down again, playing havoc with all kinds of things, including medication. Probably this is the most noticeable ongoing issue that I have.
Radiation: I still have a patch of burned skin from that but it is gradually getting more skin like and less burnlike.
I'm still taking chemotherapy in the form of tamoxifen tablets, and now there's Only One More Year of that to go. Yay. Why? Well, because tamoxifen makes my joints ache. It's a side effect. Not a particularly horrific one but it makes me feel creaky.
Emotionally, I am feeling cautiously optimistic that I'll reach the five year mark without a recurrence. But there's always this fear in the back of my mind. I work quite hard to keep it in a box with the lid on, but every now and then it pops out.
I must say, it makes me focus my mind wonderfully on what's important in my life and how i want to live it, and who I want to have in it. I don't have time for trivia, for boredom, for things that grate, for people who drain. I want every day to count.
It probably makes me focus a little *too* much on the here and now, in a Zen like fashion, than is good for me. Yes, I do have to do something about my superannuation, my wisdom teeth, etc. Sigh.
On the other hand.. splurging to go to the US and Mexico later this year? OH yes.
And: I am also just fine.
Four years.
One more year, and I'm past the magical five year survival point. Yes, people do get recurrences after that but far far less. Actually, most of the risk is already gone, at four years. Most recurrences happen in the first one to two years.
How am I four years on?
Physically I'm in pretty good shape. No ill effects from the surgery, other than patch of my right arm behind the upper arm that's completely devoid of sensation due to nerves being cut to remove lymph nodes. And of course the scar, but no problems with that either, and it's cosmetically pretty damn good.
Chemo.. hair is back, just as it was before. I did have early menopause and a few associated symptoms with that, which I won't bore you with here. I still have a few ongoing issues hormonally, going up over the menopause level and then back down again, playing havoc with all kinds of things, including medication. Probably this is the most noticeable ongoing issue that I have.
Radiation: I still have a patch of burned skin from that but it is gradually getting more skin like and less burnlike.
I'm still taking chemotherapy in the form of tamoxifen tablets, and now there's Only One More Year of that to go. Yay. Why? Well, because tamoxifen makes my joints ache. It's a side effect. Not a particularly horrific one but it makes me feel creaky.
Emotionally, I am feeling cautiously optimistic that I'll reach the five year mark without a recurrence. But there's always this fear in the back of my mind. I work quite hard to keep it in a box with the lid on, but every now and then it pops out.
I must say, it makes me focus my mind wonderfully on what's important in my life and how i want to live it, and who I want to have in it. I don't have time for trivia, for boredom, for things that grate, for people who drain. I want every day to count.
It probably makes me focus a little *too* much on the here and now, in a Zen like fashion, than is good for me. Yes, I do have to do something about my superannuation, my wisdom teeth, etc. Sigh.
On the other hand.. splurging to go to the US and Mexico later this year? OH yes.