Fic - all you ever did (was wreck me) - (Killian Jones/David Nolan, Davey Jones) - M
Title: all you ever did (was wreck me)
Author: alinaandalion
Rating: M
Summary:
After you realize that David has dreamshade coursing through his veins, only days left to live, you feel something twist in your stomach.
It’s happening again. And maybe it’s not going to be a crushed heart this time, maybe there won’t be any revenge to seek because how do you fight back against a plant, but you feel the crushing terror and helplessness, and you watch him lie to his family and kiss his wife and pretend like he’s not dying with every single breath.
It disgusts you; it makes you want him even more.
Spoilers: Up through the Season 3 mid-season finale.
It starts slowly. You almost don’t notice at first, how much you’re looking at him instead of Emma, but even when you realize, you can’t stop. The man’s an infuriating mix of earnest and self-righteous, and he keeps glaring at you while you only smile in return.
He thinks you’re in love with Emma. You should be; she’s beautiful and full of light and everything anyone should ever want. But you’ve never done what you should.
*****
After you realize that David has dreamshade coursing through his veins, only days left to live, you feel something twist in your stomach.
It’s happening again. And maybe it’s not going to be a crushed heart this time, maybe there won’t be any revenge to seek because how do you fight back against a plant, but you feel the crushing terror and helplessness, and you watch him lie to his family and kiss his wife and pretend like he’s not dying with every single breath.
It disgusts you; it makes you want him even more.
You think this kind of stupid nobility shouldn’t be so attractive. But there it is anyway.
*****
He pushes you up against a tree, angry, and you laugh in his face. Saving his life was less of a choice than you’re making it out to be, and you don’t care, you don’t care that the only way for him to live is to bind him to this cursed island. Even if it means that he’ll have to watch his wife and daughter sail away without him.
The selfish part of you thinks good because then you can stay and have him for yourself without trying. The more rational part of your brain knows that this is insane but it’s done. It’s done and he’s alive and you did that, you saved him.
So you tell him that maybe he should be a little more grateful. You leer at him because you can.
He frowns, but his eyes are wide, focusing in on your mouth, and then he kisses you. He kisses you hard, like the fist he probably wants to drive through your stomach, but it’s his mouth on yours instead. You pull him closer (he’s shaking) and you drag the tip of your hook lightly down his spine as you slip a hand into his pants.
He shudders against you, groaning just a little bit, and after a few strokes, you drop to your knees.
*****
He announces to everyone that you saved his life. He doesn’t say how or why, which means another secret, another lie that only the two of you share.
But you don’t say anything. The boy, the boy, the boy is the most important thing now.
And then Emma kisses you. Sweet, beautiful Emma who looks at you with lost eyes and pulls you close and kisses you. Her hands fist in your leather coat, and you kiss her back. Her lips taste different from his. And she’s pushing against you, like she’s looking for something that isn’t there.
She steps back and her brow is furrowed as she says it’s only a one-time thing. You at least have the decency to not point out why it won’t happen again.
You’ll let her figure it out on her own, what it means when her eyes track the queen, when she looks for her first.
As for the rest, you aren’t going to tell her about that, either.
*****
“Stay away from Emma.”
You smirk at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.”
He jabs a finger at your chest. “You kissed her.”
“Well, to be accurate, she kissed me. But I take it you don’t exactly care about the specifics?”
“I want you to stay away from my daughter.”
“Tell me, are you angry because you don’t think I’m good enough for her? Or because you just want me for yourself?”
You’re expecting the punch, so you duck his fist and press him back against the closest tree, digging your hook into his shoulder while you work on pulling open his pants. You kiss him, but he bites your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood; you just chuckle and stay close, his breath panting against your mouth as you wrap your hand around his cock. His hips jerk helplessly into your hand with each twist of your wrist. He comes with a sharp groan and slumps against the tree, his shoulders sagging as you slip your hand underneath his shirt and wipe your fingers clean.
“I wouldn’t worry about Emma being interested in me, mate,” you say, smirking. “She seems a little preoccupied with the queen.”
For once he seems to catch on pretty quickly. “But Emma’s…she likes men.”
“And you like women.”
He punches you, but honestly, you probably deserve that one.
*****
He ignores you after you get back to Storybrooke. You shrug it off and stock up on rum because he belongs with his family anyway. You’re just a pirate, after all, and he certainly doesn’t owe you anything.
You prefer to keep to your ship, though, because seeing him with his wife…it feels like rubbing salt into an open wound. It feels like the days and months after you buried Milah at sea. And the only thing you can do is drink more rum.
Then one night he shows up on your ship’s deck. He doesn’t say anything, and you don’t smile.
You hold out your flask; he pushes it aside and kisses you.
*****
Regina shoves a full plate of pancakes and eggs and bacon underneath your nose. “Eat.”
You squint down at the food, your head pounding. “Must you put apples in everything?”
“Em-Henry requested them. I’m not going to cook you a special breakfast just because you drank yourself into a stupor last night. Again.” She frowns, but it’s softer than when you first met her, when she was a queen at the height of her power, triumphant and powerful and dark.
You take a bite of the eggs and mumble, “The rum helps.”
“With what? The only thing you do is skulk around that ship of yours.”
“I’ve been having an affair with David.”
It’s a rush to finally say it, and she stares at you, open-mouthed, as you sip on milky-sweet coffee.
“For how long?” she asks finally, and you shrug.
“Since we were in Neverland.”
“But, I thought that you…Emma-”
“Oh, I gave that up after I figured out what was going on with you two.” You cock an eyebrow. “And I think now that the two of you are involved in some sort of romantic relationship, I certainly shouldn’t interfere.”
“Emma and I are not sleeping together.”
“It’s a good thing you’re not the one sneaking around with David. You’re a horrible liar.”
She stares at you, her eyes dark and serious. “Are you in love with him?”
“He has a wife.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
You just smile at her and pick up your fork. “And yet, that’s my answer.”
*****
He tells you about what happened during the curse. How he thought he was married to a different woman and was having an affair with Snow. Even if that life wasn’t true, he tells you that he thought it was real; that it felt real.
He tells you about growing up as a shepherd and how he was never made to be a prince. He tells you all of his secrets, how he’s not sure if he wants another child but Snow does, how he doesn’t want to be this person who cheats on his wife but he can’t stay away.
You tell him about running off with another man’s wife. You tell him about your adventures at sea, the torturous years in Neverland, the wonders you witnessed in other lands.
You wonder how many times you’ll repeat the mistakes of your past before you learn. Or before you finally get to have a happy ending. Neither seems possible but you pull him close to you anyway.
*****
The end of it all is inevitable. You’re not careful enough, you forget, and Snow finds you together. It doesn’t take her long to put everything together since you’re both only half-dressed, and she runs. David leaves you behind to go after her, his hands zipping up his jeans as he goes.
They have it out in the middle of town, Snow screaming and crying and David pleading with her, and it’s in front of everyone because it’s some holiday or other and there’s some sort of festival happening. You glance around and see a sign. Miner’s Day. Snow has her hands pressed to her stomach and from this angle, you see it, the slight rounding of her belly.
You vomit on the street. When you look back up, David is standing there.
“What do I do?” he asks, and you want to drive your hook into his chest and rip out his heart.
You just wipe your mouth on your sleeve and laugh. You laugh and laugh and laugh until he walks away from you.
Author: alinaandalion
Rating: M
Summary:
After you realize that David has dreamshade coursing through his veins, only days left to live, you feel something twist in your stomach.
It’s happening again. And maybe it’s not going to be a crushed heart this time, maybe there won’t be any revenge to seek because how do you fight back against a plant, but you feel the crushing terror and helplessness, and you watch him lie to his family and kiss his wife and pretend like he’s not dying with every single breath.
It disgusts you; it makes you want him even more.
Spoilers: Up through the Season 3 mid-season finale.
It starts slowly. You almost don’t notice at first, how much you’re looking at him instead of Emma, but even when you realize, you can’t stop. The man’s an infuriating mix of earnest and self-righteous, and he keeps glaring at you while you only smile in return.
He thinks you’re in love with Emma. You should be; she’s beautiful and full of light and everything anyone should ever want. But you’ve never done what you should.
*****
After you realize that David has dreamshade coursing through his veins, only days left to live, you feel something twist in your stomach.
It’s happening again. And maybe it’s not going to be a crushed heart this time, maybe there won’t be any revenge to seek because how do you fight back against a plant, but you feel the crushing terror and helplessness, and you watch him lie to his family and kiss his wife and pretend like he’s not dying with every single breath.
It disgusts you; it makes you want him even more.
You think this kind of stupid nobility shouldn’t be so attractive. But there it is anyway.
*****
He pushes you up against a tree, angry, and you laugh in his face. Saving his life was less of a choice than you’re making it out to be, and you don’t care, you don’t care that the only way for him to live is to bind him to this cursed island. Even if it means that he’ll have to watch his wife and daughter sail away without him.
The selfish part of you thinks good because then you can stay and have him for yourself without trying. The more rational part of your brain knows that this is insane but it’s done. It’s done and he’s alive and you did that, you saved him.
So you tell him that maybe he should be a little more grateful. You leer at him because you can.
He frowns, but his eyes are wide, focusing in on your mouth, and then he kisses you. He kisses you hard, like the fist he probably wants to drive through your stomach, but it’s his mouth on yours instead. You pull him closer (he’s shaking) and you drag the tip of your hook lightly down his spine as you slip a hand into his pants.
He shudders against you, groaning just a little bit, and after a few strokes, you drop to your knees.
*****
He announces to everyone that you saved his life. He doesn’t say how or why, which means another secret, another lie that only the two of you share.
But you don’t say anything. The boy, the boy, the boy is the most important thing now.
And then Emma kisses you. Sweet, beautiful Emma who looks at you with lost eyes and pulls you close and kisses you. Her hands fist in your leather coat, and you kiss her back. Her lips taste different from his. And she’s pushing against you, like she’s looking for something that isn’t there.
She steps back and her brow is furrowed as she says it’s only a one-time thing. You at least have the decency to not point out why it won’t happen again.
You’ll let her figure it out on her own, what it means when her eyes track the queen, when she looks for her first.
As for the rest, you aren’t going to tell her about that, either.
*****
“Stay away from Emma.”
You smirk at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.”
He jabs a finger at your chest. “You kissed her.”
“Well, to be accurate, she kissed me. But I take it you don’t exactly care about the specifics?”
“I want you to stay away from my daughter.”
“Tell me, are you angry because you don’t think I’m good enough for her? Or because you just want me for yourself?”
You’re expecting the punch, so you duck his fist and press him back against the closest tree, digging your hook into his shoulder while you work on pulling open his pants. You kiss him, but he bites your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood; you just chuckle and stay close, his breath panting against your mouth as you wrap your hand around his cock. His hips jerk helplessly into your hand with each twist of your wrist. He comes with a sharp groan and slumps against the tree, his shoulders sagging as you slip your hand underneath his shirt and wipe your fingers clean.
“I wouldn’t worry about Emma being interested in me, mate,” you say, smirking. “She seems a little preoccupied with the queen.”
For once he seems to catch on pretty quickly. “But Emma’s…she likes men.”
“And you like women.”
He punches you, but honestly, you probably deserve that one.
*****
He ignores you after you get back to Storybrooke. You shrug it off and stock up on rum because he belongs with his family anyway. You’re just a pirate, after all, and he certainly doesn’t owe you anything.
You prefer to keep to your ship, though, because seeing him with his wife…it feels like rubbing salt into an open wound. It feels like the days and months after you buried Milah at sea. And the only thing you can do is drink more rum.
Then one night he shows up on your ship’s deck. He doesn’t say anything, and you don’t smile.
You hold out your flask; he pushes it aside and kisses you.
*****
Regina shoves a full plate of pancakes and eggs and bacon underneath your nose. “Eat.”
You squint down at the food, your head pounding. “Must you put apples in everything?”
“Em-Henry requested them. I’m not going to cook you a special breakfast just because you drank yourself into a stupor last night. Again.” She frowns, but it’s softer than when you first met her, when she was a queen at the height of her power, triumphant and powerful and dark.
You take a bite of the eggs and mumble, “The rum helps.”
“With what? The only thing you do is skulk around that ship of yours.”
“I’ve been having an affair with David.”
It’s a rush to finally say it, and she stares at you, open-mouthed, as you sip on milky-sweet coffee.
“For how long?” she asks finally, and you shrug.
“Since we were in Neverland.”
“But, I thought that you…Emma-”
“Oh, I gave that up after I figured out what was going on with you two.” You cock an eyebrow. “And I think now that the two of you are involved in some sort of romantic relationship, I certainly shouldn’t interfere.”
“Emma and I are not sleeping together.”
“It’s a good thing you’re not the one sneaking around with David. You’re a horrible liar.”
She stares at you, her eyes dark and serious. “Are you in love with him?”
“He has a wife.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
You just smile at her and pick up your fork. “And yet, that’s my answer.”
*****
He tells you about what happened during the curse. How he thought he was married to a different woman and was having an affair with Snow. Even if that life wasn’t true, he tells you that he thought it was real; that it felt real.
He tells you about growing up as a shepherd and how he was never made to be a prince. He tells you all of his secrets, how he’s not sure if he wants another child but Snow does, how he doesn’t want to be this person who cheats on his wife but he can’t stay away.
You tell him about running off with another man’s wife. You tell him about your adventures at sea, the torturous years in Neverland, the wonders you witnessed in other lands.
You wonder how many times you’ll repeat the mistakes of your past before you learn. Or before you finally get to have a happy ending. Neither seems possible but you pull him close to you anyway.
*****
The end of it all is inevitable. You’re not careful enough, you forget, and Snow finds you together. It doesn’t take her long to put everything together since you’re both only half-dressed, and she runs. David leaves you behind to go after her, his hands zipping up his jeans as he goes.
They have it out in the middle of town, Snow screaming and crying and David pleading with her, and it’s in front of everyone because it’s some holiday or other and there’s some sort of festival happening. You glance around and see a sign. Miner’s Day. Snow has her hands pressed to her stomach and from this angle, you see it, the slight rounding of her belly.
You vomit on the street. When you look back up, David is standing there.
“What do I do?” he asks, and you want to drive your hook into his chest and rip out his heart.
You just wipe your mouth on your sleeve and laugh. You laugh and laugh and laugh until he walks away from you.