Where is sleep?
Ok So this NEEDS and update! But then I shouldn't just update for the sake of updating really and by all means, I'm not. I was talking to my cousins girlfriend the other day and she said as a writer I should be writing about three A4 pages a day as soon as I get up in the morning. When everything is still foggy and I don't have the time to analyse the hell out of it, which I so love to do.
Now because I type faster than I 'hand write' it's easier to keep up with the myriad of thoughts and the speed at which I get ideas or remember things makes it short work of it too... Anyway, the point is, I'm going to do it online. I thought perhaps it might mirror the me I seem to have forgotten to look for. I dunno, whatever! I'll see how it goes.
I have this huge respect for people lately, in a general way. I've been second guessing lately, doubting and being generally negative. Worrying about stupid things that wont matter in a year.. But something woke me up. I'll explain what started it.
My cousin sent me this package, christmas cards, plus an art book of hers that I could use for study. She's like 30 years old but she has this illness where her mind is that of a little girl still. So anyway, she sent this package, covered in HEAPS of lil stickers and pretty swirling text, and then I looked closer and realised just how much work she'd put into it. She done everything in lead pencil first before going over it twice then colouring it, JUST for the envelope that she sent through. She had written little messages all over it like 'keep smiling' 'your'e beautiful' etc and it just effected me in a big way. That she could see the tiny little things that anyone else wouldnt even think of. It was an envelope, that would be thrown out and even ripped when I opened it, it couldnt be helped but wow, she must have spent ages doing that. I'm just overwhelmed by it all.. It's not easy to explain..
Sometimes I wish I slept normally, Sometimes.. It's almost 4am.. The sky is lighting up outside I think.. nite! :D