one more semester down
What a year. This is going to be a long one.
School
Well, I survived Block 1 (and my other classes, too). At times I doubted my ability to keep up with the workload, but I managed to walk away with an A. My experience working with the students at George Washington, however, was by far the most fulfilling thing I've done so far in school. Not only did I work with the students for my field experience, I also volunteered my time and learned the power of advocacy for one little girl. Everything it says in the poem that is posted below this entry is so true. I experienced every type of emotion imaginable.
I loved.
At first I just worked with my focus student, Kayla. But with time I began to help the other students during my volunteer hours. There was one group of boys in particular who tended to be a distruption, so I began to concentrate on them. There were three of them, and it didn't take me long to figure out that Davonte was the leader. So I slowly worked at winning him over. At first he ignored me, but before long we developed a relationship of fun and mutual respect. He was my little leader. If I could get him on task, the others soon followed. I fell in love with that kid, and really looked forward to seeing him.
I lost.
Then one day, he didn't come to class. And I never saw him again. I asked his teacher if his schedule had been changed, but she didn't have any information on him. He was simply gone. All the hours I had logged sitting in that little group, helping the boys with the assignments and talking about their lives, and he was gone without a word. I lost my first one. And I learned a hard lesson.
I tried.
Working with Kayla was the biggest challenge I've ever faced. For seven years she had been told that she was stupid and incapable of doing the work. By the time I got to her, she believed it herself. Getting her to even attempt the work usually took half the class period. And boy was she moody. One minute she'd be laughing and cooperative. Then she'd shut down and it was all I could do to keep her from totally losing it. In so many ways, she reminded me of myself. I was desperate to help her. I remember the night I sat on my couch with a glass of wine and her IEP and cried. She had been let down by the school, the administration, and her teachers. She was falling through the cracks and I was trying desperately not to lose her myself. I fought my ass off to save her. I had meetings with the special ed teachers, and the guidance counselor, and finally the principal. After that, Kayla got the Alpha Smart keyboard she was entitled to. I thought it would make all the difference.
I learned.
Yes, I did think that I could always make a difference. But some tears I couldn't dry. The Alpha Smart was of little use to Kayla since she didn't know how to type. I thought that witnessing my diligence and dedication to her would convince Kayla that I did care, and would encourage her to start caring about her own education. But one semester cannot undo seven years of damage. Kayla did not make the miraculous turnaround I had worked so hard for. Not to say that I didn't make a difference in her life. I know I did. For the last couple of weeks, she became especially difficult. It got to the point where I could hardly help her and was beginning to look forward to the end of the semester. Then the last day arrived. I mostly left Kayla alone that day because I sensed that she was moody. We passed out candy and pencils to the kids as a goodbye gift, and when the bell rang, they emptied the classroom in their normal hasty, chaotic fashion. But I turned around and there was Kayla. She came up and gave me a hug, and begged me to come visit her again. She walked us down to the community room where we had class, and hugged me again. She asked if she could give me her phone number and I wanted so badly to say yes, but I knew I couldn't. She hesitated to leave for the buses as long as she could, and then she left. And I lost it. I had told myself I wouldn't cry, and hadn't felt that emotionally invested. But it broke my heart to see her go. That little girl for whom I had fought so hard. I had lost sleep over her. I had thought about her and tried so hard to turn things around for her. And now I had to let her go. How could I be so involved and then just walk away? But it was time for us to move on. Another hard lesson learned.
Relationships
Despite the overwhelming school semester, Tony and I managed to become even closer the last few months. There has been a real shift in our relationship. A very good one. He is trying very hard to be more open about his feelings, and it is making such a difference in every aspect of my life. It is now the year that we will be married. It is so strange to say we are getting married THIS August. Less than eight months to go. I picked up my wedding dress last week. It's all becoming so real, now. We're getting engagement pictures done in the spring when everything blooms. His family from Michigan stayed with us this past weekend and we showed them the Omni. Sometimes it all feels very big to me, but I have no doubts.
Friends are doing well. Amber is taking a break from school. We've hung out a few times in the last months. I really like her room mate, Melissa, too. I had a Halloween party and a lot of my friends from Starbucks came. One of these days I'm going to post pictures on Facebook.
The family is okay. The usual drama, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
Work
I quit the petstore in November. It's nice to be down to one job. I still work almost as many hours, but only having responsibilities at one job gives me the illusion of less stress. It was time time say goodbye to that place. So I did my at-cost sale and bought Ezra a huge new cage and put in my two-weeks notice. I'm a Learning Coach at Starbucks now, which just means I can train people. I was going to work to become a Shift, but I'm having second thoughts. You're expected to put up with a lot of shit from people there, and I just don't think I could handle it. I'd be too hard on people and not enough kiss-ass to the customers.
The New Year
It's going to be a crazy one. I turn 21 in March and Tony requested three days off to take me out and party. I wasn't planning on doing much, but apparently everyone else is. My dad is going to either rent me a limo or a party bus, and Tony and I might stay at the Hilton downtown because his mom can get discounted rooms. I think it'll be fun.
I'm taking five classes now (including two for the blocks), doing field experience, and I'm going to take at least one class this summer. Then of course August 13th is the big day.
Block 2 looks like it's going to be a butt load. I've met three of my professors so far and they seem nice. One of my classes is an online technology course (the second one I've had to take) and it is over in March.
I'm still involved in Urban Educators. For our fall community service project, each member adopted a family of impoverished kids and bought them Christmas gifts. Tony and I spent about $220 on a little boy and girl. It was extremely rewarding and his willingness to help me reminded me of why I love him so much. Our first meeting of the semester is this Friday.
Well, I guess that's all for now. I'd say I'm going to try to post more often, but I know it probably won't happen. I hope everyone has a great year. Till next time.
Alicia
School
Well, I survived Block 1 (and my other classes, too). At times I doubted my ability to keep up with the workload, but I managed to walk away with an A. My experience working with the students at George Washington, however, was by far the most fulfilling thing I've done so far in school. Not only did I work with the students for my field experience, I also volunteered my time and learned the power of advocacy for one little girl. Everything it says in the poem that is posted below this entry is so true. I experienced every type of emotion imaginable.
I loved.
At first I just worked with my focus student, Kayla. But with time I began to help the other students during my volunteer hours. There was one group of boys in particular who tended to be a distruption, so I began to concentrate on them. There were three of them, and it didn't take me long to figure out that Davonte was the leader. So I slowly worked at winning him over. At first he ignored me, but before long we developed a relationship of fun and mutual respect. He was my little leader. If I could get him on task, the others soon followed. I fell in love with that kid, and really looked forward to seeing him.
I lost.
Then one day, he didn't come to class. And I never saw him again. I asked his teacher if his schedule had been changed, but she didn't have any information on him. He was simply gone. All the hours I had logged sitting in that little group, helping the boys with the assignments and talking about their lives, and he was gone without a word. I lost my first one. And I learned a hard lesson.
I tried.
Working with Kayla was the biggest challenge I've ever faced. For seven years she had been told that she was stupid and incapable of doing the work. By the time I got to her, she believed it herself. Getting her to even attempt the work usually took half the class period. And boy was she moody. One minute she'd be laughing and cooperative. Then she'd shut down and it was all I could do to keep her from totally losing it. In so many ways, she reminded me of myself. I was desperate to help her. I remember the night I sat on my couch with a glass of wine and her IEP and cried. She had been let down by the school, the administration, and her teachers. She was falling through the cracks and I was trying desperately not to lose her myself. I fought my ass off to save her. I had meetings with the special ed teachers, and the guidance counselor, and finally the principal. After that, Kayla got the Alpha Smart keyboard she was entitled to. I thought it would make all the difference.
I learned.
Yes, I did think that I could always make a difference. But some tears I couldn't dry. The Alpha Smart was of little use to Kayla since she didn't know how to type. I thought that witnessing my diligence and dedication to her would convince Kayla that I did care, and would encourage her to start caring about her own education. But one semester cannot undo seven years of damage. Kayla did not make the miraculous turnaround I had worked so hard for. Not to say that I didn't make a difference in her life. I know I did. For the last couple of weeks, she became especially difficult. It got to the point where I could hardly help her and was beginning to look forward to the end of the semester. Then the last day arrived. I mostly left Kayla alone that day because I sensed that she was moody. We passed out candy and pencils to the kids as a goodbye gift, and when the bell rang, they emptied the classroom in their normal hasty, chaotic fashion. But I turned around and there was Kayla. She came up and gave me a hug, and begged me to come visit her again. She walked us down to the community room where we had class, and hugged me again. She asked if she could give me her phone number and I wanted so badly to say yes, but I knew I couldn't. She hesitated to leave for the buses as long as she could, and then she left. And I lost it. I had told myself I wouldn't cry, and hadn't felt that emotionally invested. But it broke my heart to see her go. That little girl for whom I had fought so hard. I had lost sleep over her. I had thought about her and tried so hard to turn things around for her. And now I had to let her go. How could I be so involved and then just walk away? But it was time for us to move on. Another hard lesson learned.
Relationships
Despite the overwhelming school semester, Tony and I managed to become even closer the last few months. There has been a real shift in our relationship. A very good one. He is trying very hard to be more open about his feelings, and it is making such a difference in every aspect of my life. It is now the year that we will be married. It is so strange to say we are getting married THIS August. Less than eight months to go. I picked up my wedding dress last week. It's all becoming so real, now. We're getting engagement pictures done in the spring when everything blooms. His family from Michigan stayed with us this past weekend and we showed them the Omni. Sometimes it all feels very big to me, but I have no doubts.
Friends are doing well. Amber is taking a break from school. We've hung out a few times in the last months. I really like her room mate, Melissa, too. I had a Halloween party and a lot of my friends from Starbucks came. One of these days I'm going to post pictures on Facebook.
The family is okay. The usual drama, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
Work
I quit the petstore in November. It's nice to be down to one job. I still work almost as many hours, but only having responsibilities at one job gives me the illusion of less stress. It was time time say goodbye to that place. So I did my at-cost sale and bought Ezra a huge new cage and put in my two-weeks notice. I'm a Learning Coach at Starbucks now, which just means I can train people. I was going to work to become a Shift, but I'm having second thoughts. You're expected to put up with a lot of shit from people there, and I just don't think I could handle it. I'd be too hard on people and not enough kiss-ass to the customers.
The New Year
It's going to be a crazy one. I turn 21 in March and Tony requested three days off to take me out and party. I wasn't planning on doing much, but apparently everyone else is. My dad is going to either rent me a limo or a party bus, and Tony and I might stay at the Hilton downtown because his mom can get discounted rooms. I think it'll be fun.
I'm taking five classes now (including two for the blocks), doing field experience, and I'm going to take at least one class this summer. Then of course August 13th is the big day.
Block 2 looks like it's going to be a butt load. I've met three of my professors so far and they seem nice. One of my classes is an online technology course (the second one I've had to take) and it is over in March.
I'm still involved in Urban Educators. For our fall community service project, each member adopted a family of impoverished kids and bought them Christmas gifts. Tony and I spent about $220 on a little boy and girl. It was extremely rewarding and his willingness to help me reminded me of why I love him so much. Our first meeting of the semester is this Friday.
Well, I guess that's all for now. I'd say I'm going to try to post more often, but I know it probably won't happen. I hope everyone has a great year. Till next time.
Alicia