I did it again.
Well. Due to a "friend" not respecting my wishes and not keeping me and my x seperate in his world, i had a run in with m yx, and geuss what... same old shit. I lov ehim... i got sad, hes with his bf and i feel more alone and desolate than ever b4. I dunno whut to write, i geuss i just didnt wanna keep my emotions bottled up as i Usualy do. Anyway lo and behold im hosting a lil get together here in my house now... so I gotta put on my fake face, and pretend the world is ok. And it willbe, in the mornin, when its a distant memory ive forced away again. Its not so much my x i think that has me down, but my incredible sence of lonliness, and lack of achievment. Im in a new world with thousands of new homos to meet, and not 1 is knocking at my door. why? I dont know, aparently im not fat, and semi atractive im told.. interesting how the only ppl who can say this have bf's or some other reason they would never touch me.. seems kinda empty from tehm.. why believe? And we can attack my self conciosness.. however when i meet ppl online i act confident and like im actually happy... Anyway.. yea.. thats that... I be sad...