(no subject)
I am so tired of being on the back burner of everyone's lives.
I am so tired of my mother never coming to see me because everyone else needs her to do something, but then she whines about never seeing me. I am so tired of that. She and my dad were supposed to come see me tomorrow, because they were going to bring my desk up and come have lunch with me. But of course tonight I talk to her and she doesn't know if she can come because some man died, and her church is making food, and OF COURSE my mother doesn't know how to say no. She didn't even really know the man. And that isn't a one time thing...this happens every time she plans to come see me, or this happens every time she is supposed to do something with me. I am so tired of that. I wanted to see her tomorrow, but I guess I probably won't. She is always so busy doing something for someone else, MY DAMN FAMILY INCLUDED, that she never has time for me. I guess I'm just aggravated with everything right now. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I died. I feel like, everyone would just go on about their business and never think twice that I wasn't around. Fuck.
And it's not even just my mother anymore, it's like no one else ever thinks to invite me to anything, comes to see me(when I go to see tons of people) or even just thinks twice about me. I get so damn tired of that.
And people keep saying, why do you have to study so much, why can't you come visit, blah. It's like when I am trying to make good grades and keep up with class, people discourage me completely.
It's honestly not that I want attention, it would just be nice to be remembered once in a while.
I am so tired of my mother never coming to see me because everyone else needs her to do something, but then she whines about never seeing me. I am so tired of that. She and my dad were supposed to come see me tomorrow, because they were going to bring my desk up and come have lunch with me. But of course tonight I talk to her and she doesn't know if she can come because some man died, and her church is making food, and OF COURSE my mother doesn't know how to say no. She didn't even really know the man. And that isn't a one time thing...this happens every time she plans to come see me, or this happens every time she is supposed to do something with me. I am so tired of that. I wanted to see her tomorrow, but I guess I probably won't. She is always so busy doing something for someone else, MY DAMN FAMILY INCLUDED, that she never has time for me. I guess I'm just aggravated with everything right now. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I died. I feel like, everyone would just go on about their business and never think twice that I wasn't around. Fuck.
And it's not even just my mother anymore, it's like no one else ever thinks to invite me to anything, comes to see me(when I go to see tons of people) or even just thinks twice about me. I get so damn tired of that.
And people keep saying, why do you have to study so much, why can't you come visit, blah. It's like when I am trying to make good grades and keep up with class, people discourage me completely.
It's honestly not that I want attention, it would just be nice to be remembered once in a while.