Swallowing tears...
The day has crept by...I have done nothing but watch TV...haven't talked to many people today. Jason kidnapped me for the night cause I was alone with Brittany ALL day and still have her but she is obviously asleep and leaving me in peace *sigh* I feel so sick. I sat down and started thinking of the test..how horribly I failed it, then I started thinking about all the weight I gained lately, and then I realized how much I REALLY miss Robert, and then how much I missed Heather and it never ended! I feel so sick its not even funny...today i hurt myself...accidently mind you. I was getting my sister food, trying to break apart 2 frozen burritos, they finally split and my hand flung and hit the counter...hit it hard enough to break the skin, bleed, and will now be a scar. Didn't hurt really...prolly should have but what went through my head, scared me. I wanted to hurt myself so bad...as soon as I thought that I went in the room, curled up and watched TV...thats all I could do. You guys I'm feeling desperate...i don't wanna deal with the emotional pain...i want to deal with physical pain yet at the same time I know better...i need someone here with me...I feel so alone...