(no subject)
This was actually written yesterday May 27 2005
Monique, Brandon and Matt came over last night. I returned one of her calls and she was like "Hey can me and some people come over?" I asked her to define some people. "Like me and Brandon and Matt. I figured we should have a party. Let's have a party." I was really hesitant, but at the same time I figured it might be better than sitting around moping by myself. She told me her time frame and I pointed out by the time they finished what they were doing, got Brandon and came all the way out here I'd prabably hurt really bad (As I tend to do in the late afternoon/evening hours.) But she said she really wanted to see me. So a agreed. I was doing OK until about fifteen minutes before they got to my house. by the time they got here I felt like I could barely walk but I had already agreed that no matter how bad I hurt I wouldn't make them turn around and go right back home. It was good to see Brandon again. I really wish I got to see him more often as we always seem to have a good time. Not only that, but he also calls Monique on her BS. It was also good to see Matt, I really like Matt but it's just so awkward around him. It seems he never talks to me unless someone else starts a conversation and there's only so many times I can say "How's school" and "how've you been?" Poor Matt it just seems as if Monique drags him along to see me to save gas or something. I always feel so stupid around him cause by the time Monique gets out here I'm in a drugged stupor.
So they get here we chat, Monique grabs my computer (as always.) Then we decide to get pizza, I make Monique do it. Big Credit Card Saga ensues. Pizza gets here. Monique picks Tivo shows that she's not even watching because she's too busy looking at suicide girls and trying to draw (also as usual.) So much for really wanting to see me. It felt more like she really wanted to see my computer. I'm trying to give her some room here cause I know how it is when you really wanna draw, but it seemed to me she made a big deal about wanting to see me. Brandon and I had fun though, God poor matt... If I wasn't so a)stressed b)tired and c)in pain I would have made more of an effort to talk to him. I feel really bad about that in retrospect. I was about ready to kick them out when I noticed Monique had laid down on the couch. I figured I'd let her rest but then she kept arguing with people every few minutes. I finally said that I was going to bed soon and that got her up and moving. So I said goodnight and went to bed.
God after seeing her stretched out on the couch like that I really wish that Monique would take better care of her self. She doesn't have to be doing something all the time. She should get more rest. But if I actually said that she'd say how she can't sleep or something like that which is funny because around me it's true she doesn't sleep, she passes out. Then there is the fact that she tries to make EVERY band practice no matter how ridiculous the time. There is one thing I know and that is artistic people DO NOT do time, under any circumstances. She’s worried about how ‘fat’ she is but quite frankly I’m more worried about her going to the Westport gas station in the middle of the night just so she can save 15 cents per gallon. That’s neither tough nor brave that’s stupid.
From now on I’m going to try not to fix the relations of others. You wanna hate someone? Fine. You wanna believe you’re hated so you can be a melodramatic prima-donna? Fine. I find it slightly funny that they consider three phone calls of not getting a hold of one another or less “trying” to save a friendship. I decided to give up when I realized that the people in question try harder at everything else in their lives, so if they really wanted to reconcile they could.
Monique, Brandon and Matt came over last night. I returned one of her calls and she was like "Hey can me and some people come over?" I asked her to define some people. "Like me and Brandon and Matt. I figured we should have a party. Let's have a party." I was really hesitant, but at the same time I figured it might be better than sitting around moping by myself. She told me her time frame and I pointed out by the time they finished what they were doing, got Brandon and came all the way out here I'd prabably hurt really bad (As I tend to do in the late afternoon/evening hours.) But she said she really wanted to see me. So a agreed. I was doing OK until about fifteen minutes before they got to my house. by the time they got here I felt like I could barely walk but I had already agreed that no matter how bad I hurt I wouldn't make them turn around and go right back home. It was good to see Brandon again. I really wish I got to see him more often as we always seem to have a good time. Not only that, but he also calls Monique on her BS. It was also good to see Matt, I really like Matt but it's just so awkward around him. It seems he never talks to me unless someone else starts a conversation and there's only so many times I can say "How's school" and "how've you been?" Poor Matt it just seems as if Monique drags him along to see me to save gas or something. I always feel so stupid around him cause by the time Monique gets out here I'm in a drugged stupor.
So they get here we chat, Monique grabs my computer (as always.) Then we decide to get pizza, I make Monique do it. Big Credit Card Saga ensues. Pizza gets here. Monique picks Tivo shows that she's not even watching because she's too busy looking at suicide girls and trying to draw (also as usual.) So much for really wanting to see me. It felt more like she really wanted to see my computer. I'm trying to give her some room here cause I know how it is when you really wanna draw, but it seemed to me she made a big deal about wanting to see me. Brandon and I had fun though, God poor matt... If I wasn't so a)stressed b)tired and c)in pain I would have made more of an effort to talk to him. I feel really bad about that in retrospect. I was about ready to kick them out when I noticed Monique had laid down on the couch. I figured I'd let her rest but then she kept arguing with people every few minutes. I finally said that I was going to bed soon and that got her up and moving. So I said goodnight and went to bed.
God after seeing her stretched out on the couch like that I really wish that Monique would take better care of her self. She doesn't have to be doing something all the time. She should get more rest. But if I actually said that she'd say how she can't sleep or something like that which is funny because around me it's true she doesn't sleep, she passes out. Then there is the fact that she tries to make EVERY band practice no matter how ridiculous the time. There is one thing I know and that is artistic people DO NOT do time, under any circumstances. She’s worried about how ‘fat’ she is but quite frankly I’m more worried about her going to the Westport gas station in the middle of the night just so she can save 15 cents per gallon. That’s neither tough nor brave that’s stupid.
From now on I’m going to try not to fix the relations of others. You wanna hate someone? Fine. You wanna believe you’re hated so you can be a melodramatic prima-donna? Fine. I find it slightly funny that they consider three phone calls of not getting a hold of one another or less “trying” to save a friendship. I decided to give up when I realized that the people in question try harder at everything else in their lives, so if they really wanted to reconcile they could.