(no subject)
I've had time to get over the stress of the weekend and the stupidy of the stupid person that had only negative things to say. I just couldn't do any thing right the whole damn time.
I guess I'm just not used to be around other people any more. I've been thinking about that the last couple of nights. Instead of whining about not having friends to talk to any more I stepped back and thought about it. People have been coming out of the woodworks more and so I turn off my phone and avoid them.
I'm tired. I'm unhappy and I just want to go to bed and stay there. So i do. This weekend was actually awesome because I couldn't do that. I had to go be around people. I was excited about dancing again and I really want to be on the commitee next year for promoting this thing. What a geek am I. I don't have time though. Not yet, I will do this eventually.
Eventually every thing will get better I guess. I'll stop hating the world and want to be a part of it again.
I've been this raging bitch from hell and then I feel bad about the way I acted but then it's to late. i guess thats the good thing about a relationship, things seem to work out easier then in other situations. i guess if he gets sick of it he'll break up with me and I'll know. Or some thing.
Some thing. . . So it's lake season, and I don't want to set foot there. I went with Amy one night a couple weeks ago and went back to the park later with the dogs some girls were talking to us and told me a bunch of kids were making fun of me. Me insecurities are huge right now (so am I) I don't want to go, I am so nasty and disgusting right now. I've just been avoiding the lake since then. I feel so stupid, I hang around these gorgeous people and then there's me. This big blob.
Fuck. I need to go back to bed. I never should have gotten out in the first place
I guess I'm just not used to be around other people any more. I've been thinking about that the last couple of nights. Instead of whining about not having friends to talk to any more I stepped back and thought about it. People have been coming out of the woodworks more and so I turn off my phone and avoid them.
I'm tired. I'm unhappy and I just want to go to bed and stay there. So i do. This weekend was actually awesome because I couldn't do that. I had to go be around people. I was excited about dancing again and I really want to be on the commitee next year for promoting this thing. What a geek am I. I don't have time though. Not yet, I will do this eventually.
Eventually every thing will get better I guess. I'll stop hating the world and want to be a part of it again.
I've been this raging bitch from hell and then I feel bad about the way I acted but then it's to late. i guess thats the good thing about a relationship, things seem to work out easier then in other situations. i guess if he gets sick of it he'll break up with me and I'll know. Or some thing.
Some thing. . . So it's lake season, and I don't want to set foot there. I went with Amy one night a couple weeks ago and went back to the park later with the dogs some girls were talking to us and told me a bunch of kids were making fun of me. Me insecurities are huge right now (so am I) I don't want to go, I am so nasty and disgusting right now. I've just been avoiding the lake since then. I feel so stupid, I hang around these gorgeous people and then there's me. This big blob.
Fuck. I need to go back to bed. I never should have gotten out in the first place