Walking past the cherry blossom trees
When we're young we wish we were older. Old enough to matter if I remember correctly.
Now that I am I look back and I miss some of the things I couldn't have known would
matter. Walking to school in the spring and early months of summer I loved the way the air smelled
crisp. The way everything in the light was so much clearer then in later parts of the day. I
miss running at night and taking shaken breath as I pushed myself farther. I miss how
school could be so stressful though now looking back it seemed too easy. I miss how
you worry what everyone thinks and it can make you a better person for fear of everyone
else's eyes. I miss how you could complain about school cooking and laugh as you ate it anyway.
I miss being able to call people and not pay for the bill myself.
Most of all I miss the mornings walking to school breathing in the crisp air as if it was like medicine.
I live my life now to pay the bills and to eat. It's not horrible but I'd love to get up and walk to
work in the crisp morning air past the blooming trees. I'm happy though. I feel as if I can't say that
enough. I'm living trying to find all the pieces that make me, me and that in itself makes everyday
more enjoyable then the last. I now wake up and shower as I once did but when I look in the
mirror I see someone who is a little fuller then I use to be. I smile as I wipe away the steam and sigh
at all I've come to accomplished. I miss walking in the morning and running in the night but one day
I'll get there. So for now I'm happy to smile at the mirror while I find more pieces of myself.
I'm getting there...
Becky