small bump (i/?)
Title: small bump
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Louis Tomlinson/Eleanor Calder, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, possible Harry Styles/Liam Payne and possibly more pairings
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2,034
Summary: Each time Harry hears one of their fans or one of the interviewers gush about how perfect Louis and Eleanor look together there’s a part of him that just wants to be torn to shreds before he explodes because it’s just so painful to watch the way that Louis’s face lights up and he mentions that he’s quite possibly found the perfect girl.
Warnings: Potential drama, sad Harry and...spoilers?
Dedication: For the Anon on the kink meme who requested this, also for lifeisafantasy2 because you know, I rarely ever have fics that aren't dedicated to her...
Disclaimer: I assure you if One Direction belonged to me I'd be far too busy hanging with them to write fic.
Author Notes: This fic is based off of this prompt that basically states that Louis can't choose between Harry and Eleanor and loves them both but Harry finds out Eleanor's pregnant and isn't telling Louis because she doesn't know if she wants to keep the child or not. He backs off but it's terribly hard to do and only Liam picks up on it. This fic is completely unbetaed and all errors are my own. If you found this and it's about you or someone you know stop and turn around right now please.
It’s been this way since they set off to conquer the world after X Factor and Harry absolutely despises it. It’s not that he minds Eleanor as a person because she’s really rather alright. She makes a good friend to the boys and Harry can tolerate her being around but unlike how it is with Liam and Danielle, Harry downright despises the concept of Louis and Eleanor as a couple.
Since she started officially dating Louis, Harry’s been in a right fit because Louis was his first and it’s not fair that all of a sudden he’s picked up this girl and now they’re together and ‘in love’ according to the multiple press statements and twitter messages that have transpired between the two of them. Each time Harry hears one of their fans or one of the interviewers gush about how perfect Louis and Eleanor look together there’s a part of him that just wants to be torn to shreds before he explodes because it’s just so painful to watch the way that Louis’s face lights up and he mentions that he’s quite possibly found the perfect girl.
And it’s not fair. It’s not fair to Harry who belonged to Louis first and it’s not fair to Eleanor when they’re on tour and Louis makes his way into Harry’s bunk or the bed in their shared hotel room and they find themselves pressed together, limbs shifting into place as their bodies fit together like perfect puzzle pieces that have been seeking their missing halves for ages.
There are times in the middle of the night, when Harry’s just drifted off to sleep or is almost there, when Louis presses his face into Harry’s hair and whispers sweet nothings to Harry; when he tells him that he’s in love with him and that Harry’s all he ever needs. Those nights end with nightmares, with Harry waking up with tears hidden away in the corners of his eyes and an empty bed. Those are the nights when Harry feels the absolute worst, worse than he ever feels even when he knows that Louis is with Eleanor and they’re kissing each other, making love to each other, promising that something more will come out of this because that’s all that will ever happen.
Louis wants Eleanor as much as Eleanor wants him, but Louis also wants Harry too and he doesn’t even see how desperate Harry is for Louis’s love; how much it breaks Harry every time Louis chooses her over what they used to be, what they always wanted to be.
He remembers the way that they’d curl up in Louis’s bunk together back at the X Factor house, Harry’s face pressed into Louis’s shoulder and Louis’s arm slung around Harry’s waist, holding him close. He remembers when they’d stay up late and exchange soft whispers about how much they wanted to win, about how much they wanted to be able to say that they were the winners of X Factor and then they’d finally be able to say that they were successful, that they’d done something that they were proud of. He remembers how they’d promised each other that no matter what happened they wouldn’t let the media change them and that they’d still be together afterwards even if they didn’t end up being successful after the show.
And then they lost X Factor and Louis did everything he possibly could to cheer Harry up, to bring him back from that hopeless shell that he’d turned into after he realised that everything they’d tried so hard to do had ended up amounting to nothing. He made Harry happy again, made him want to look forward to the X Factor tour, to the potential fame that they had yet to fully claim from their time on the show. He built Harry up and then managed to tear him back down completely when he brought Eleanor into the picture. It’d ruined Harry and there really was nothing that could fix it.
Especially when Louis crawled into bed with Harry the night after he’d declared that he had a girlfriend and took Harry’s hands and promised that this wasn’t going to change them. He whispered a web of lies to Harry, a web that he tangled Harry in composed of promises that this wasn’t going to change them, that he’d always still be Harry’s, that Eleanor meant nothing to him. Harry was trapped and he knew that even if he wasn’t there’d be no way that he could pull away from Louis and be himself again because Harry’s nothing without Louis and he’s known that since the first day he met him. Without Louis there wouldn’t be the curly-haired boy that people all over the United Kingdom and beyond had fallen in love with.
Without Louis, Harry would be nothing.
Harry knows that he ought to back away, that he ought to just take a step back from everything that he and Louis used to be because the longer he lets this go on the deeper he’s going to fall in this pit that not even Liam can pull him out of. He just loves Louis more than anything he’s ever loved before, including air for god’s sake, but Louis’s so wrapped up in this thought that he can balance the relationship he has with Eleanor with the one he has with Harry that he doesn’t even see how much it’s affecting his best friend. That’s why Harry finds himself considering that maybe it’s time that he takes it upon himself to break this off.
It’s hard, breaking off ties to what might have to be the best person he’s ever known, but there’s really no choice in the matter. If Harry lets himself continue down this path, there’ll be nothing left of him, no recognizable part of Harry left to consider Harry and Harry alone. He needs to distance himself, to become his own person again so that there will be some sort of chance that he’ll eventually get over his heart constantly breaking.
-
That’s why he finds it so strange and fucked up and convenient that he ends up eavesdropping on a conversation that Eleanor’s having with a mate on the phone.
It’s not like he means to listen in, but Harry finds himself making a trip to get ice for the room and Eleanor’s taken a train in for the day since they’re not too far away from home so he’s surprised to hear her voice as he rounds the corner for the ice machine and even more surprised to hear her say, “No, of course Louis doesn’t know are you daft?”
Harry freezes in his tracks and while he knows that the last thing he ought to be doing is listening to this, a small part of him hopes that by listening in he might be able to find something to use against Eleanor, something that will make Louis his forever. And yeah, the plan to distance himself from Louis isn’t working out well at all, so he’s moved on to blackmail it seems. He leans against the wall, holding the ice bucket to his chest as he listens to one side of a conversation that obviously sounds important.
“What am I supposed to tell him, Melanie? Why should I even tell him because we both know what he’ll say if I share the news with him.” She pauses and it’s obvious that she’s arguing with her friend on the phone because of the tone in her voice, bitter and biting. “I told you already that that’s not why I came to see him today.”
Harry shifts closer and he peers around the corner, watching Eleanor as she steps closer to the window. He can see the obvious stress that she’s trying to hide by the way she tenses up, her hand pressed against her ribs as if she can just push it all away as easy as that. “I can’t tell him, Mel. He won’t give me a chance. It’s easier if I don’t tell him because then if I want to get rid of it, I can. I’m too young to be a mum, Mel. I’m not ready for all this shit.”
Mum… Mum. Harry reels back at this information and he stumbles a little bit as he falls backwards against the wall, making a little bit more noise than he intended to, but he can’t be bothered to care right now because Eleanor’s pregnant. She’s pregnant and Louis’s going to be a father.
God, if Harry weren’t screwed right now he’d be laughing at how ludicrous the situation is because here he is, trying to distance himself from the love of his life and Louis doesn’t even know that his girlfriend, the one he said he’d never grow attached to, is pregnant with his child and considering getting rid of it without even consulting him about it first. And Harry is pretty sure that her decision is all his fault because she knows about the fact that she’s not the only object of Louis’s affections. She knows that she doesn’t have him all to himself.
“I’ve got to go, Mel. Text me.” Harry straightens and he walks around the corner just as Eleanor turns around and she smiles at him like she knows something he doesn’t, something that might just make Louis hers forever. “Hello, Harry. Haven’t seen you in a while.” She leans forward and kisses Harry’s cheek gently, something that Harry can barely manage to reciprocate before he pulls back from her.
“Hello Eleanor,” he replies and Harry’s genuinely surprised to know that he can manage to speak so smoothly and calmly despite the fact that he just learned that the world as he knows it is falling apart at the very hinges that it’s been built on. “Louis’s so happy that you’ve come to spend the day with us.”
“I know.” She smiles at him again and then tucks her phone into her pocket before she steps around Harry. “I ought to be getting back to Lou,” she says and Harry nods. He watches as she steps back down the hallway, going the way he just came from and Harry doesn’t miss the way she brushes her fingers over her stomach, feeling the nonexistent bump beneath the fabric.
And only then does it actually hit him that Eleanor’s really pregnant and this is really happening and not just a nightmare that he may or may not have been imagining as he went to get ice. His hands start to tremble and he drops the ice bucket but doesn’t bother to retrieve it as he slips to the ground, tangling his hands in his curls and tugging as he tries to make sense of what just happened; of what’s going to happen.
There’s not much that Harry can do with this information but he knows now that his plans, his plans that he’s been pushing aside since Eleanor first came into the picture of breaking it off with Louis because fighting for him is futile need to happen. He needs to distance himself from Louis because Harry’s absolutely certain at this point that if leaves Louis for good, that if he steps back and lets Eleanor have him (which is the absolute last thing he ever wants to do) that she’ll keep the baby and that Louis can be happy.
After all, the thing that Louis’s been mentioning to Harry ever since they’ve met is how much he wants to be a great dad, how he wants to be the kind of dad that loves his children and takes care of them the way that he feels the father figures in his life never has.
And really, who is Harry to deny him that? Who is Harry, a foolish, lovestruck teenager, to take away the one thing that Louis has been insistent about since they’ve met?
Harry squeezes his eyes shut and he sucks in a sharp breath as he accepts the truth. He’s nobody, nobody at all, and that’s what he’ll have to be to Louis if it means keeping him happy. That’s all he can be.
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Louis Tomlinson/Eleanor Calder, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, possible Harry Styles/Liam Payne and possibly more pairings
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2,034
Summary: Each time Harry hears one of their fans or one of the interviewers gush about how perfect Louis and Eleanor look together there’s a part of him that just wants to be torn to shreds before he explodes because it’s just so painful to watch the way that Louis’s face lights up and he mentions that he’s quite possibly found the perfect girl.
Warnings: Potential drama, sad Harry and...spoilers?
Dedication: For the Anon on the kink meme who requested this, also for lifeisafantasy2 because you know, I rarely ever have fics that aren't dedicated to her...
Disclaimer: I assure you if One Direction belonged to me I'd be far too busy hanging with them to write fic.
Author Notes: This fic is based off of this prompt that basically states that Louis can't choose between Harry and Eleanor and loves them both but Harry finds out Eleanor's pregnant and isn't telling Louis because she doesn't know if she wants to keep the child or not. He backs off but it's terribly hard to do and only Liam picks up on it. This fic is completely unbetaed and all errors are my own. If you found this and it's about you or someone you know stop and turn around right now please.
It’s been this way since they set off to conquer the world after X Factor and Harry absolutely despises it. It’s not that he minds Eleanor as a person because she’s really rather alright. She makes a good friend to the boys and Harry can tolerate her being around but unlike how it is with Liam and Danielle, Harry downright despises the concept of Louis and Eleanor as a couple.
Since she started officially dating Louis, Harry’s been in a right fit because Louis was his first and it’s not fair that all of a sudden he’s picked up this girl and now they’re together and ‘in love’ according to the multiple press statements and twitter messages that have transpired between the two of them. Each time Harry hears one of their fans or one of the interviewers gush about how perfect Louis and Eleanor look together there’s a part of him that just wants to be torn to shreds before he explodes because it’s just so painful to watch the way that Louis’s face lights up and he mentions that he’s quite possibly found the perfect girl.
And it’s not fair. It’s not fair to Harry who belonged to Louis first and it’s not fair to Eleanor when they’re on tour and Louis makes his way into Harry’s bunk or the bed in their shared hotel room and they find themselves pressed together, limbs shifting into place as their bodies fit together like perfect puzzle pieces that have been seeking their missing halves for ages.
There are times in the middle of the night, when Harry’s just drifted off to sleep or is almost there, when Louis presses his face into Harry’s hair and whispers sweet nothings to Harry; when he tells him that he’s in love with him and that Harry’s all he ever needs. Those nights end with nightmares, with Harry waking up with tears hidden away in the corners of his eyes and an empty bed. Those are the nights when Harry feels the absolute worst, worse than he ever feels even when he knows that Louis is with Eleanor and they’re kissing each other, making love to each other, promising that something more will come out of this because that’s all that will ever happen.
Louis wants Eleanor as much as Eleanor wants him, but Louis also wants Harry too and he doesn’t even see how desperate Harry is for Louis’s love; how much it breaks Harry every time Louis chooses her over what they used to be, what they always wanted to be.
He remembers the way that they’d curl up in Louis’s bunk together back at the X Factor house, Harry’s face pressed into Louis’s shoulder and Louis’s arm slung around Harry’s waist, holding him close. He remembers when they’d stay up late and exchange soft whispers about how much they wanted to win, about how much they wanted to be able to say that they were the winners of X Factor and then they’d finally be able to say that they were successful, that they’d done something that they were proud of. He remembers how they’d promised each other that no matter what happened they wouldn’t let the media change them and that they’d still be together afterwards even if they didn’t end up being successful after the show.
And then they lost X Factor and Louis did everything he possibly could to cheer Harry up, to bring him back from that hopeless shell that he’d turned into after he realised that everything they’d tried so hard to do had ended up amounting to nothing. He made Harry happy again, made him want to look forward to the X Factor tour, to the potential fame that they had yet to fully claim from their time on the show. He built Harry up and then managed to tear him back down completely when he brought Eleanor into the picture. It’d ruined Harry and there really was nothing that could fix it.
Especially when Louis crawled into bed with Harry the night after he’d declared that he had a girlfriend and took Harry’s hands and promised that this wasn’t going to change them. He whispered a web of lies to Harry, a web that he tangled Harry in composed of promises that this wasn’t going to change them, that he’d always still be Harry’s, that Eleanor meant nothing to him. Harry was trapped and he knew that even if he wasn’t there’d be no way that he could pull away from Louis and be himself again because Harry’s nothing without Louis and he’s known that since the first day he met him. Without Louis there wouldn’t be the curly-haired boy that people all over the United Kingdom and beyond had fallen in love with.
Without Louis, Harry would be nothing.
Harry knows that he ought to back away, that he ought to just take a step back from everything that he and Louis used to be because the longer he lets this go on the deeper he’s going to fall in this pit that not even Liam can pull him out of. He just loves Louis more than anything he’s ever loved before, including air for god’s sake, but Louis’s so wrapped up in this thought that he can balance the relationship he has with Eleanor with the one he has with Harry that he doesn’t even see how much it’s affecting his best friend. That’s why Harry finds himself considering that maybe it’s time that he takes it upon himself to break this off.
It’s hard, breaking off ties to what might have to be the best person he’s ever known, but there’s really no choice in the matter. If Harry lets himself continue down this path, there’ll be nothing left of him, no recognizable part of Harry left to consider Harry and Harry alone. He needs to distance himself, to become his own person again so that there will be some sort of chance that he’ll eventually get over his heart constantly breaking.
-
That’s why he finds it so strange and fucked up and convenient that he ends up eavesdropping on a conversation that Eleanor’s having with a mate on the phone.
It’s not like he means to listen in, but Harry finds himself making a trip to get ice for the room and Eleanor’s taken a train in for the day since they’re not too far away from home so he’s surprised to hear her voice as he rounds the corner for the ice machine and even more surprised to hear her say, “No, of course Louis doesn’t know are you daft?”
Harry freezes in his tracks and while he knows that the last thing he ought to be doing is listening to this, a small part of him hopes that by listening in he might be able to find something to use against Eleanor, something that will make Louis his forever. And yeah, the plan to distance himself from Louis isn’t working out well at all, so he’s moved on to blackmail it seems. He leans against the wall, holding the ice bucket to his chest as he listens to one side of a conversation that obviously sounds important.
“What am I supposed to tell him, Melanie? Why should I even tell him because we both know what he’ll say if I share the news with him.” She pauses and it’s obvious that she’s arguing with her friend on the phone because of the tone in her voice, bitter and biting. “I told you already that that’s not why I came to see him today.”
Harry shifts closer and he peers around the corner, watching Eleanor as she steps closer to the window. He can see the obvious stress that she’s trying to hide by the way she tenses up, her hand pressed against her ribs as if she can just push it all away as easy as that. “I can’t tell him, Mel. He won’t give me a chance. It’s easier if I don’t tell him because then if I want to get rid of it, I can. I’m too young to be a mum, Mel. I’m not ready for all this shit.”
Mum… Mum. Harry reels back at this information and he stumbles a little bit as he falls backwards against the wall, making a little bit more noise than he intended to, but he can’t be bothered to care right now because Eleanor’s pregnant. She’s pregnant and Louis’s going to be a father.
God, if Harry weren’t screwed right now he’d be laughing at how ludicrous the situation is because here he is, trying to distance himself from the love of his life and Louis doesn’t even know that his girlfriend, the one he said he’d never grow attached to, is pregnant with his child and considering getting rid of it without even consulting him about it first. And Harry is pretty sure that her decision is all his fault because she knows about the fact that she’s not the only object of Louis’s affections. She knows that she doesn’t have him all to himself.
“I’ve got to go, Mel. Text me.” Harry straightens and he walks around the corner just as Eleanor turns around and she smiles at him like she knows something he doesn’t, something that might just make Louis hers forever. “Hello, Harry. Haven’t seen you in a while.” She leans forward and kisses Harry’s cheek gently, something that Harry can barely manage to reciprocate before he pulls back from her.
“Hello Eleanor,” he replies and Harry’s genuinely surprised to know that he can manage to speak so smoothly and calmly despite the fact that he just learned that the world as he knows it is falling apart at the very hinges that it’s been built on. “Louis’s so happy that you’ve come to spend the day with us.”
“I know.” She smiles at him again and then tucks her phone into her pocket before she steps around Harry. “I ought to be getting back to Lou,” she says and Harry nods. He watches as she steps back down the hallway, going the way he just came from and Harry doesn’t miss the way she brushes her fingers over her stomach, feeling the nonexistent bump beneath the fabric.
And only then does it actually hit him that Eleanor’s really pregnant and this is really happening and not just a nightmare that he may or may not have been imagining as he went to get ice. His hands start to tremble and he drops the ice bucket but doesn’t bother to retrieve it as he slips to the ground, tangling his hands in his curls and tugging as he tries to make sense of what just happened; of what’s going to happen.
There’s not much that Harry can do with this information but he knows now that his plans, his plans that he’s been pushing aside since Eleanor first came into the picture of breaking it off with Louis because fighting for him is futile need to happen. He needs to distance himself from Louis because Harry’s absolutely certain at this point that if leaves Louis for good, that if he steps back and lets Eleanor have him (which is the absolute last thing he ever wants to do) that she’ll keep the baby and that Louis can be happy.
After all, the thing that Louis’s been mentioning to Harry ever since they’ve met is how much he wants to be a great dad, how he wants to be the kind of dad that loves his children and takes care of them the way that he feels the father figures in his life never has.
And really, who is Harry to deny him that? Who is Harry, a foolish, lovestruck teenager, to take away the one thing that Louis has been insistent about since they’ve met?
Harry squeezes his eyes shut and he sucks in a sharp breath as he accepts the truth. He’s nobody, nobody at all, and that’s what he’ll have to be to Louis if it means keeping him happy. That’s all he can be.