chasing the sun (1/2)
Title: chasing the sun
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Zayn Malik(/Niall Horan)
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 4,936
Summary: Louis doesn’t want to be buzzed or even somewhat drunk. No, he wants to be so smashed that he can’t even remember what his name is. He wants to be at the point where he wakes up ten hours later and is still having trouble placing the simplest thoughts.
Warnings: Drunk Louis, Swimming Pools & Stars
Dedication: This is dedicated to lifeisafantasy2 for being amazing and cheering on my plot idea of a drunk Louis. Oh, and swimming pools. She's the best.
Disclaimer: I assure you if One Direction belonged to me I'd be far too busy hanging with them to write fic. Plus that'd be weird.
Author Notes: The title and cut go to Chasing the Sun by The Wanted (if you judge I don't care). This popped into my head based on a specific scene which does not end up happening in this at all, but it might appear in the sequel. Yes. There will be a sequel. The sequel will have nothing to do with Chasing the Sun and will not be titled as such. These are important things to know.
Louis doesn’t often find himself in this state of mind. Usually he and Liam are the ones who stay at least somewhat sober, but it’s just one of those days where Louis finds himself taking whatever drink is shoved his way, downing them one after another. He doesn’t want to be buzzed or even somewhat drunk. No, he wants to be so smashed that he can’t even remember what his name is. He wants to be at the point where he wakes up ten hours later and is still having trouble placing the simplest thoughts.
He’s pretty sure that he’s running from something, but what it is, Louis doesn’t know. He just knows that the alcohol’s a comfort that he’s been seriously deprived of.
“I think you should stop,” Liam warns from somewhere behind him. Louis’s too lazy to turn around and find him as someone passes by, pressing another glass into his hand. He just chuckles and downs it in one swift movement, letting the alcohol burn his throat and intoxicate him to the very core of his being.
“S’a party, Liam. Relax!” His words come out slurred and he’s pretty sure that someone else is speaking despite the fact that his mouth is moving to release these barely-processed thoughts. The way that Liam sighs in response is a sign that Louis should stop, that he’s hit the point where even Liam doesn’t want to have to watch him sink further into a drunken state. And yet he’s still too sober for his liking.
Liam says something that Louis doesn’t quite catch. The only thing he really heard was mentions of Zayn and Louis assumes that Liam’s off to find his boyfriend who’s probably bribed Niall into body shots somewhere. Louis wouldn’t be surprised. Niall’s easy to influence when Zayn’s fed him a few drinks.
It’s only when Liam leaves that Louis realizes how big this party is that they’re at. He knew that it was big based on the fact that people kept passing off drinks to him and it was never the same person twice, but as Louis wanders the mansion-like house that they’re at, he’s starting to realize just how big it is. People seem to appear out of nowhere constantly and Louis is pretty sure that he’s yet to take a step without colliding into one body part or another.
The film that’s covered his mind is making everything a little more bearable. The lights are muted, not blindingly harsh like he’s used to. It’s a relief to know that the blaring music isn’t even affecting him other than the fact that he randomly stumbles his way into dancing as he travels from the kitchen to the backyard.
When he manages to actually make it outside, relief washes over him and the cool air of a summer night tries to sober him. Louis shudders and he blinks slowly, taking in his surroundings as he tries to remember why he came outside in the first place. There’s a couple right in front of him, almost naked as they grind against each other, blatantly crying out each other’s names between kisses. As much as Louis enjoys watching people get naked, he’s not amused and sidesteps the couple before they start going at it in front of him.
In the distance Louis spots a pool and for some stupid reason he thinks that it’s a smart idea to go swimming despite the fact that it’s nearing two in the morning and he’s so drunk that walking straight isn’t even an option.
The sound of laughter overwhelms Louis as he drops down at the edge of the pool, narrowly missing the opportunity to fall right into the shallow end and crack his head off of the concrete floor. Some girls on the other end of the pool are splashing at each other and shrieking about how cold the water is. The high-pitched shouts are causing migraine-like pain to Louis’s brain and he considers covering his ears for a moment before shrugging it off and sliding into the pool, thankfully removing his mobile from his pocket before he can drown it in the cool water.
Louis’s surprised by how cold it is in the pool. He figures that if someone’s going out of their way to throw a party in a mansion they’d at least have the pool heated. On the one hand, the cool water’s a relief compared to the heat of the summer they’ve been having, but it’s shocked Louis enough that he feels like he’s sobering even more despite his inhalation of enough alcohol to last a lifetime. He’s almost at the point where he wants to remember why he wanted to get so drunk in the first place, but Louis knows deep down that there was no real reason behind it. He was just looking for an escape.
The water ripples beneath his fingertips. He’s alone and safe in the shallow end, safe from drowning because of his inability to swim while holding a liquor store inside of him. Louis finds himself trying to write words in the water, his eyes glazed over as he tries to read the letters before the water steals them away. It’s a lot of jumbled letters and designs that make no sense but he’s pretty sure that somewhere in the midst of all that he wrote the word that was nagging him. Alone.
Louis splashes the water a few times, only now noticing that the girls who had been squealing their lungs out have disappeared; back to the party, no doubt. If Louis was actually interested in being surrounded by people who were dancing and laughing and having a good time, he could have easily done that without having to leave his flat. No, he was the one who suggested coming to this party and he was the one who was hanging out in the swimming pool alone. It doesn’t take Louis more than a moment before he decides that he should start use the swimming pool for what it actually exists for. Swimming.
He starts out slowly, trying to coax his limbs into remembering how to swim rather than just flail about while travelling through the cool water. It takes him a while before he’s struggling to do laps without sinking himself to the bottom of the pool, but when he gets the hang of it it’s not all that bad. If he was willing to strip off his soaking clothes he’d probably have a better time at it, but Louis’s not one for proper thought right now, so he just allows himself to enjoy moving through the water at a slow pace, reveling in the fact that he’s not drowning yet.
It’s just when he gets to the deep end of the pool that he’s startled out of his mind by someone speaking to him. Louis grabs onto the edge of the pool quickly to keep from slipping underwater and yet he’s still flailing, struggling to keep afloat with his free hand.
“Did I startle you?” Louis looks up to find the most amazingly green pair of eyes inches away from him. Louis tries to focus on the rest of the person that the eyes belong to but he can’t seem to manage it. All he can see is these beautiful eyes and he’s so lost in them that he doesn’t even realize that the person’s speaking until they tap him on the hand. “Are you okay?”
Only then does Louis manage to pull away from those intense eyes. It’s a boy talking to him, maybe a few years younger but not much younger than he is. He finds himself being distracted by the simplest things, the most amazing things. The way the boy’s hair is made of these messy, impossible curls, how his neck arches so perfectly, exposing a subtle adam’s apple and stopping at these amazing collarbones, his slender fingers and big hands that just look so perfect that Louis can’t stop staring. It’s amazing how this boy just has his full attention and he can’t seem to even stop for a moment to think of a proper response to the question that he’s not sure he heard in the first place.
“Hello? Is anybody in there?” Louis blinks as he tries to focus on what the boy’s saying rather than how perfect he seems to be. In fact, Louis’s sure he’s never seen a more perfect person in the world. “Are you injured? Do you need me to call someone to help you?”
“No,” Louis replies quickly, shaking his head as he grips a little tighter to the concrete, praying that if he holds on tightly enough he can snap himself back to reality and not lose his mind over a random boy at a party. “M’fine. Zoned out a little.” His words come out rushed, his tongue tripping over syllables and Louis’s face turns a slight shade of red as the boy begins to laugh. Listening to his laugh sounds angelic, if Louis’s honest. The boy himself has an angelic quality to him, so innocent and pure. It makes Louis feel completely inadequate, unworthy of his attention.
The boy shifts, sitting down next to Louis’s hand as he sticks his feet into the pool. “I was asking you earlier if you wouldn’t mind me joining you. You looked like you were having so much fun swimming and it made me want to.”
To… Louis wasn’t sure if he was catching what the boy was saying completely. His hand was resting just centimetres away from Louis’s own and all the intoxicated man wanted to do was take it, grab on and never let go. The way he spoke, it was so soft and uncaring. He has this relaxed way of speaking, like he’s not even thinking about what he’s saying and yet every word that comes out of his mouth sounds like it’s been carefully thought out. Louis really just wants to curl up inside of the boy’s voice, to seek shelter in that comforting tone and never resurface.
“You can join me, if you’d like.” Louis is surprised by how sober he sounds. It’s like he’s gone from completely wasted to perfectly sober thanks to the appearance of this stranger, and yet he can’t help but focus on the fact that this is a stranger, someone who just wants to use the pool. He didn’t come to talk to Louis and Louis doubts that he plans on sticking around. In fact, Louis doubts that he even wants to talk to him in the first place, so why is he putting in effort to try and respond?
A grin breaks out on the boy’s face before he tosses his mobile into the grass. He then slides off of the concrete side and into the pool, splashing Louis with water as he joins him. “Thanks.”
Louis shrugs weakly in response, watching as the boy grabs onto the concrete wall, his muscles in his forearms flexing slightly as he grips to make sure he doesn’t let go. Louis tears his gaze away from the boy and he forces himself to smile. “Not my pool so no need to thank me.” He then pushes himself off of the wall, swimming back to the shallow end as he tries to clear his mind.
It’s ridiculous, the way that Louis feels right now. There’s no way that this boy, whoever he is, would even be slightly interested in him. Louis knows this for sure. Despite the fact that he has some of the greatest friends in the world, friends that he doesn’t even deserve if he’s honest with himself, it doesn’t change the fact that Louis’s a mess. Liam never says anything about it, but Zayn and Niall occasionally tease him about how he never manages to do anything right. Louis knows they’re joking. He knows it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true and no one will just come out and admit it.
He shakes his head to clear his mind of these depressing thoughts and turns around, startled to find the boy right behind him. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks Louis softly, worry clearly showing in his face.
“Yeah,” Louis replies quickly. “Don’t worry about me kid.” He doesn’t mean to call the boy a kid and instantly regrets it when he sees the look on his face.
“I’m not a kid,” he replies. “I’m legal, same as you.” He pauses. “Just because I’m not drunk or high doesn’t mean I’m a kid.” Louis’s a little surprised because while he could tell that the boy wasn’t drunk or even close, he seemed like he was coming down off of some high and Louis just assumed… but no. “If I’m invading your personal time or whatever, I can leave.”
“No.” Louis’s surprised by how desperate he sounds. He doesn’t want the boy to leave him alone. No, he’s sick of feeling alone all the time, and while he doesn’t know him at all, he’s related to him more in the past few minutes than he has with any of his mates the past few weeks. “No, don’t leave,” he tells him. “I just…” But Louis doesn’t know what he ‘just’ at all. He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say anymore, but he doesn’t want this boy to leave.
He’s surprised by how intensely the boy looks at him, almost as if he’s trying to read his emotions, which Louis would let him do any day. “What’s your name?” he asks, and Louis’s kind of startled by the question. Names mean attachments and attachments are the last thing that Louis expects to get out of meeting this boy.
“I’m Louis,” he tells him quietly.
“Louis.” It’s amazing how much better his name sounds coming out of the boy’s mouth. Louis feels like he’s been living for twenty years just for this moment, just so that he can hear the way this stranger says his name because it sounds so good when it rolls off of his tongue. “I like your name, Louis.”
Louis tries to hide the shudder that runs down his spine at the way he says his name again, but the water ripples around him anyway, revealing him better than he ever could. “What’s yours?”
The boy just smiles in response. It’s a playful smile, one that is almost trying to say that Louis is going to have to work at it if he wants to find out the answer to his question. That’s a challenge that Louis’s more than willing to accept.
They stand there for a moment, staring at each other quietly. Louis just wants to touch him, to find out if his perfect skin is as soft as it looks. He wants to explore the things that caught his eye the first time he looked at this strange but beautiful boy. He wants to run his fingers down his cheek, pad his way down his jawline and then slip his hand around the back of his neck as he kisses him. He wants to explore those hollow sections around his collar bones and trace every muscle in his body. All Louis wants to do is touch him and he knows that that’s the one thing he can’t do right now.
The boy is talking about something. Louis doesn’t know what because he hasn’t been paying too much attention. His mind’s been wandering off in all different directions and the part of him that hasn’t has been focusing too much on making sure that he just doesn’t lunge forward and do all of the things he’s been thinking about. It’s a struggle, keeping himself in place, but the last thing he wants to do is jeopardize his chance with him, if there even is one.
Then all of a sudden words start flying from his mouth as he talks above the boy, not even feeling bad for interrupting him. “Are you an angel?” The laugh that he receives in response makes him feel stupid, but it’s an important question. “No, I’m serious.”
“Why would I be an angel?” he replies and Louis sucks in a breath, steading himself so that he doesn’t attack because the look on the boy’s face right now just makes Louis want to kiss it off of him.
“I don’t know,” he manages to respond in a semi-even tone. “I just…you’re so…I don’t know.”
The boy laughs again and Louis is pretty sure he’s going to turn a permanent shade of red by the time the sun rises.
“I’m not an angel. Not even close.” Louis’s kind of surprised that the news shocks him. It wasn’t like he was expecting the boy to tell him that he was an angel sent to watch over Louis or something like that. It’s just that he wasn’t expecting such blunt honesty. The way the boy spoke, it was as if he didn’t even believe angels exist.
Louis’s not religious, but he does believe in angels. Angels are the one staple that have been in Louis’s life ever since he was a little kid, when his mum told him that every night angels were watching over him as he slept. It wasn’t that he thought there were actual angels watching over him, but Louis figures that around the world there are people who are so amazing that they’re almost like angels. Louis has no plans on telling the boy this, but he’s almost certain that he’s one of those people.
He’s not sure what to say at this point, so Louis just shrugs and moves his arms around in the water, trying to distract himself. The boy sinks beneath the surface of the water and reappears a few moments later, his hair plastered to his face and yet surprisingly still holding some semblance of the curls. Louis finds it strange, the way the wants to reach out and just wrap his fingers around a lock of the hair.
There’s so many things that he wants to do to this boy. None of them are good, but all of them are just so tempting that Louis’s finding it harder and harder to resist.
The boy’s eyes sparkle, hinting at potential mischief before he reaches forward and hooks a finger around the collar of Louis’s wet shirt, gripping onto it slightly. Louis wants to ask him what he’s doing, but for some reason he can’t find the words to say anything. He just silently obeys as he’s tugged forward, so close to the boy that he’s almost pressed against him.
“You’ve been staring, you know,” he says as he looks at Louis, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Louis doesn’t even realize that he’s flushing until he feels cool fingers against his cheek. There’s a second of hesitation, a second where he wants to jerk away, but something stops him. Maybe it’s his want of the boy or his want to know the boy, but something stops him from moving and he’s met with a sigh of relief. “I thought you’d pull away,” the boy admits and Louis shakes his head.
“Why would I do that?” It’s amazing how much he’s sobered since he met this strange boy. “You intrigue me.”
“Do I?” It’s interesting to watch the way the boy’s eyes light up as he leans in closer. He’s so close that their foreheads are almost touching, but he stops before they do. It drives Louis mad and all he wants more contact with him, to feel their skin pressed together. Maybe if they were, Louis could slip inside of him and just hide away from the world and all of its responsibilities.
Louis can feel the boy’s breath on his skin and he finds himself closing his eyes, fading away into it. He’s not sure who moves first but there’s a moment of pause before they’re attached, lips pressed against lips. Louis’s kissing him desperately, trying to make sure that he’s got enough air in his lungs so that the kiss never has to end. It feels so good to get lost in this kiss, to find himself being courageous enough to slide an arm around the boy’s waist and tug him closer so that they’re pressed up against each other, only wet layers of clothing keeping warm skin from touching.
When the boy pulls away from him, Louis wants to cry. This is the most real moment that he’s had in a long time and it amazes him how much he doesn’t want it to ever end. He’s even wondering if he can just kidnap this boy and take him back home with him. Zayn and Niall wouldn’t notice, and Liam would but he’d leave it alone because Louis honestly hasn’t felt this happy in the longest time. It’s like everything’s going right in his world and he just wants time to stop so that he can live in this moment forever.
“Can I kiss you again?” Louis asks softly. He can’t believe that he’s asking to kiss him again, but he is. It’s just that he feels desperate to kiss him again, to wrap his arms around him and hold so tightly that he’s sure he’s never going to lose him now. There’s a moment where the boy doesn’t respond and Louis feels like he’s going to explode because he’s certain he’s said the wrong thing. But then he speaks.
“Harry,” he says quietly. “That’s my name.” And then he’s kissing Louis again. It feels like fireworks are exploding inside Louis’s stomach and he finds himself tugging him closer. Harry. Harry. His name is wonderful. It’s not unique in the slightest, but to Louis, it’s exotic all on its own. The way that he’d said his name had made Louis forget everything else.
He wants to kiss Harry forever.
The laughter behind Louis causes them to separate and he turns around to glare at whoever in their right mind dared to interrupt what had to be the be the best kiss of his life. It’s some stupid drunk kids, ones who are probably still in school and snuck into this party when everyone else was already buzzed so that they didn’t get kicked out.
“Let’s go,” Harry says and Louis turns back to him before nodding slightly. They climb out of the pool, Louis gripping a little tightly to Harry as he tries to keep his balance. Getting into the pool was the easy part but getting out requires Louis to climb up slippery steps while still intoxicated, so it’s not easy in the slightest. They make it out with Louis only falling twice, earning more than enough later from the stupid kids behind them. Harry’s so patient with Louis, though. He just keeps a good hold on him and makes sure that Louis doesn’t get hurt.
It’s amazing how much this boy just wants to make sure Louis’s okay. He’s back to the angel theory and is almost definitely sure that Harry’s an angel. There’s no doubt about it. None. Louis shifts closer to Harry and he reaches up, beginning to absently play with one of the wet locks of hair by pulling it off of his neck and twining it around his finger. Harry laughs and he tugs Louis over to a patch of grass safely away from the pool and anyone else who wants to bother them for having a good night.
Louis drops down into the soft grass and he stares up at the sky, smiling slightly as a cluster of stars sparkle above him, flickering softly to let the world know that yes, they are there. Louis’s always loved stars but he’s pretty sure that tonight he’s found a new love for him. The stars were watching over him when he found Harry, so the stars brought Harry to Louis to keep forever.
Louis’s so thankful for the stars.
“What’re you thinking about?” Harry’s voice is soft and Louis actually starts to beam as he looks at Harry, mesmerized by how beautiful the boy is and how wide and curious his eyes are. He kind of wishes he could drown in those eyes.
“How the stars brought you to me.” Harry laughs softly before he leans in and gently kisses Louis.
“I think I brought myself to you,” he tells Louis when he pulls back, smiling. “But sure. Let’s thank the stars.”
Louis grins and he shifts, slinging an arm around Harry and trying to pull him closer than he already is. Somehow Harry ends up half on top of him and Louis’s not complaining in the slightest as he feels Harry’s breaths, slow and soft on top of him. He wraps his arms around the boy and just holds him, smiling quietly to himself before he begins to softly hum, letting a melody create itself in his lungs to just explain how happy he is by this turn of events. When he got to the party he had expected to get so hammered that he couldn’t think straight and then find himself severely hung over and in bed with a stranger in the morning. Louis honestly had no idea that he was going to end up practically falling for a stranger and end up just curled up with them in the grass, watching the stars.
They lose track of time curled up together. Every now and then a kiss is exchanged but it’s mostly just them holding on to each other, not wanting the sun to come up because daylight means responsibilities and reality and everything that’s not this moment here and now. Louis fears that when the party finally ends he’ll never see Harry again and he’s honestly not sure if he can handle that reality.
“Close your eyes,” Harry whispers after he gently kisses the tip of Louis’s nose. It’s starting to get light out and the last thing Louis wants to do is obey because he’s starting to feel downright exhausted. “Just trust me.” Louis obeys and Harry begins pressing gentle kisses to wherever he can find exposed skin. Louis’s cheeks, neck, arms, wrists, hands and even fingertips are drenched in tiny, gentle kisses and he doesn’t want this to ever end. He’s so relaxed and comfortable and he doesn’t even notice that Harry’s stopped until he feels warm breath on his ear. “Get some sleep, Louis,” he whispers and that’s the last thing that Louis remembers before his dark world actually fades to black.
Louis jerks awake when someone lightly kicks him in the side. He sits up, wincing as he’s hit with a terrible headache and instantly looks around to find that Harry’s not there, pressed up against his side. “Lou, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Louis glances up and he shields his eyes from the harsh sunlight to find Liam standing over him, a worried expression on his face. “Are you alright? We couldn’t find you at all last night.”
There’s so many things that Louis wants to say to Liam. He wants to gush his feelings out about last night and how amazing everything was, but there’s no Harry beside him and he fears that there never was a Harry there. It’s at this point that Louis’s wondering if someone drugged one of his drinks and he just hallucinated the entire night. But he couldn’t have, right? No, there’s no way that he could’ve hallucinated those feelings. There’s no way that that wasn’t real.
But Harry’s not there, he’s not anywhere. Louis can’t even find a hint of evidence to prove that the whole thing wasn’t a dream or a trick of the mind because there is none. “Louis?” Liam’s crouched down next to him and he holds something out to him. Louis’s mobile. “Here. Put this in your pocket and let’s head home. You need a shower and some food.”
Louis doesn’t respond as he takes the phone and presses it into the pocket of his trousers. He’s just so miserable right now that not even his massive hangover is much of a bother anymore. All he wants to do is curl up in a ball at the bottom of the pool and drown or rip his heart out and throw it away for these feelings it’s given him. He feels so broken and empty that he wonders why he even came to this stupid party. It just made things worse. Ten times, no. A hundred times worse.
Liam helps him up and he steadies Louis, assisting him as they make their way to the car where he’s already got Zayn and Niall no doubt. Under normal situations, Liam would press Louis’s lack of any response imaginable but he knows that with the amount of alcohol that ended up in Louis’s system last night the man will need a few more hours to process the fact that he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. As they slowly walk along, Louis’s cell chimes softly but they don’t stop to answer it. Louis can’t be bothered to find out who wants to get ahold of him and Liam knows that Louis’s in no right state of mind to check his phone.
When Louis’s safely tucked in the car, a sleeping Niall instantly falling onto his shoulder, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the phone. There’s a text from a number Louis doesn’t know and he hesitates for a moment before opening it.
the stars will always shine for us
don’t forget about me x
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Zayn Malik(/Niall Horan)
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 4,936
Summary: Louis doesn’t want to be buzzed or even somewhat drunk. No, he wants to be so smashed that he can’t even remember what his name is. He wants to be at the point where he wakes up ten hours later and is still having trouble placing the simplest thoughts.
Warnings: Drunk Louis, Swimming Pools & Stars
Dedication: This is dedicated to lifeisafantasy2 for being amazing and cheering on my plot idea of a drunk Louis. Oh, and swimming pools. She's the best.
Disclaimer: I assure you if One Direction belonged to me I'd be far too busy hanging with them to write fic. Plus that'd be weird.
Author Notes: The title and cut go to Chasing the Sun by The Wanted (if you judge I don't care). This popped into my head based on a specific scene which does not end up happening in this at all, but it might appear in the sequel. Yes. There will be a sequel. The sequel will have nothing to do with Chasing the Sun and will not be titled as such. These are important things to know.
Louis doesn’t often find himself in this state of mind. Usually he and Liam are the ones who stay at least somewhat sober, but it’s just one of those days where Louis finds himself taking whatever drink is shoved his way, downing them one after another. He doesn’t want to be buzzed or even somewhat drunk. No, he wants to be so smashed that he can’t even remember what his name is. He wants to be at the point where he wakes up ten hours later and is still having trouble placing the simplest thoughts.
He’s pretty sure that he’s running from something, but what it is, Louis doesn’t know. He just knows that the alcohol’s a comfort that he’s been seriously deprived of.
“I think you should stop,” Liam warns from somewhere behind him. Louis’s too lazy to turn around and find him as someone passes by, pressing another glass into his hand. He just chuckles and downs it in one swift movement, letting the alcohol burn his throat and intoxicate him to the very core of his being.
“S’a party, Liam. Relax!” His words come out slurred and he’s pretty sure that someone else is speaking despite the fact that his mouth is moving to release these barely-processed thoughts. The way that Liam sighs in response is a sign that Louis should stop, that he’s hit the point where even Liam doesn’t want to have to watch him sink further into a drunken state. And yet he’s still too sober for his liking.
Liam says something that Louis doesn’t quite catch. The only thing he really heard was mentions of Zayn and Louis assumes that Liam’s off to find his boyfriend who’s probably bribed Niall into body shots somewhere. Louis wouldn’t be surprised. Niall’s easy to influence when Zayn’s fed him a few drinks.
It’s only when Liam leaves that Louis realizes how big this party is that they’re at. He knew that it was big based on the fact that people kept passing off drinks to him and it was never the same person twice, but as Louis wanders the mansion-like house that they’re at, he’s starting to realize just how big it is. People seem to appear out of nowhere constantly and Louis is pretty sure that he’s yet to take a step without colliding into one body part or another.
The film that’s covered his mind is making everything a little more bearable. The lights are muted, not blindingly harsh like he’s used to. It’s a relief to know that the blaring music isn’t even affecting him other than the fact that he randomly stumbles his way into dancing as he travels from the kitchen to the backyard.
When he manages to actually make it outside, relief washes over him and the cool air of a summer night tries to sober him. Louis shudders and he blinks slowly, taking in his surroundings as he tries to remember why he came outside in the first place. There’s a couple right in front of him, almost naked as they grind against each other, blatantly crying out each other’s names between kisses. As much as Louis enjoys watching people get naked, he’s not amused and sidesteps the couple before they start going at it in front of him.
In the distance Louis spots a pool and for some stupid reason he thinks that it’s a smart idea to go swimming despite the fact that it’s nearing two in the morning and he’s so drunk that walking straight isn’t even an option.
The sound of laughter overwhelms Louis as he drops down at the edge of the pool, narrowly missing the opportunity to fall right into the shallow end and crack his head off of the concrete floor. Some girls on the other end of the pool are splashing at each other and shrieking about how cold the water is. The high-pitched shouts are causing migraine-like pain to Louis’s brain and he considers covering his ears for a moment before shrugging it off and sliding into the pool, thankfully removing his mobile from his pocket before he can drown it in the cool water.
Louis’s surprised by how cold it is in the pool. He figures that if someone’s going out of their way to throw a party in a mansion they’d at least have the pool heated. On the one hand, the cool water’s a relief compared to the heat of the summer they’ve been having, but it’s shocked Louis enough that he feels like he’s sobering even more despite his inhalation of enough alcohol to last a lifetime. He’s almost at the point where he wants to remember why he wanted to get so drunk in the first place, but Louis knows deep down that there was no real reason behind it. He was just looking for an escape.
The water ripples beneath his fingertips. He’s alone and safe in the shallow end, safe from drowning because of his inability to swim while holding a liquor store inside of him. Louis finds himself trying to write words in the water, his eyes glazed over as he tries to read the letters before the water steals them away. It’s a lot of jumbled letters and designs that make no sense but he’s pretty sure that somewhere in the midst of all that he wrote the word that was nagging him. Alone.
Louis splashes the water a few times, only now noticing that the girls who had been squealing their lungs out have disappeared; back to the party, no doubt. If Louis was actually interested in being surrounded by people who were dancing and laughing and having a good time, he could have easily done that without having to leave his flat. No, he was the one who suggested coming to this party and he was the one who was hanging out in the swimming pool alone. It doesn’t take Louis more than a moment before he decides that he should start use the swimming pool for what it actually exists for. Swimming.
He starts out slowly, trying to coax his limbs into remembering how to swim rather than just flail about while travelling through the cool water. It takes him a while before he’s struggling to do laps without sinking himself to the bottom of the pool, but when he gets the hang of it it’s not all that bad. If he was willing to strip off his soaking clothes he’d probably have a better time at it, but Louis’s not one for proper thought right now, so he just allows himself to enjoy moving through the water at a slow pace, reveling in the fact that he’s not drowning yet.
It’s just when he gets to the deep end of the pool that he’s startled out of his mind by someone speaking to him. Louis grabs onto the edge of the pool quickly to keep from slipping underwater and yet he’s still flailing, struggling to keep afloat with his free hand.
“Did I startle you?” Louis looks up to find the most amazingly green pair of eyes inches away from him. Louis tries to focus on the rest of the person that the eyes belong to but he can’t seem to manage it. All he can see is these beautiful eyes and he’s so lost in them that he doesn’t even realize that the person’s speaking until they tap him on the hand. “Are you okay?”
Only then does Louis manage to pull away from those intense eyes. It’s a boy talking to him, maybe a few years younger but not much younger than he is. He finds himself being distracted by the simplest things, the most amazing things. The way the boy’s hair is made of these messy, impossible curls, how his neck arches so perfectly, exposing a subtle adam’s apple and stopping at these amazing collarbones, his slender fingers and big hands that just look so perfect that Louis can’t stop staring. It’s amazing how this boy just has his full attention and he can’t seem to even stop for a moment to think of a proper response to the question that he’s not sure he heard in the first place.
“Hello? Is anybody in there?” Louis blinks as he tries to focus on what the boy’s saying rather than how perfect he seems to be. In fact, Louis’s sure he’s never seen a more perfect person in the world. “Are you injured? Do you need me to call someone to help you?”
“No,” Louis replies quickly, shaking his head as he grips a little tighter to the concrete, praying that if he holds on tightly enough he can snap himself back to reality and not lose his mind over a random boy at a party. “M’fine. Zoned out a little.” His words come out rushed, his tongue tripping over syllables and Louis’s face turns a slight shade of red as the boy begins to laugh. Listening to his laugh sounds angelic, if Louis’s honest. The boy himself has an angelic quality to him, so innocent and pure. It makes Louis feel completely inadequate, unworthy of his attention.
The boy shifts, sitting down next to Louis’s hand as he sticks his feet into the pool. “I was asking you earlier if you wouldn’t mind me joining you. You looked like you were having so much fun swimming and it made me want to.”
To… Louis wasn’t sure if he was catching what the boy was saying completely. His hand was resting just centimetres away from Louis’s own and all the intoxicated man wanted to do was take it, grab on and never let go. The way he spoke, it was so soft and uncaring. He has this relaxed way of speaking, like he’s not even thinking about what he’s saying and yet every word that comes out of his mouth sounds like it’s been carefully thought out. Louis really just wants to curl up inside of the boy’s voice, to seek shelter in that comforting tone and never resurface.
“You can join me, if you’d like.” Louis is surprised by how sober he sounds. It’s like he’s gone from completely wasted to perfectly sober thanks to the appearance of this stranger, and yet he can’t help but focus on the fact that this is a stranger, someone who just wants to use the pool. He didn’t come to talk to Louis and Louis doubts that he plans on sticking around. In fact, Louis doubts that he even wants to talk to him in the first place, so why is he putting in effort to try and respond?
A grin breaks out on the boy’s face before he tosses his mobile into the grass. He then slides off of the concrete side and into the pool, splashing Louis with water as he joins him. “Thanks.”
Louis shrugs weakly in response, watching as the boy grabs onto the concrete wall, his muscles in his forearms flexing slightly as he grips to make sure he doesn’t let go. Louis tears his gaze away from the boy and he forces himself to smile. “Not my pool so no need to thank me.” He then pushes himself off of the wall, swimming back to the shallow end as he tries to clear his mind.
It’s ridiculous, the way that Louis feels right now. There’s no way that this boy, whoever he is, would even be slightly interested in him. Louis knows this for sure. Despite the fact that he has some of the greatest friends in the world, friends that he doesn’t even deserve if he’s honest with himself, it doesn’t change the fact that Louis’s a mess. Liam never says anything about it, but Zayn and Niall occasionally tease him about how he never manages to do anything right. Louis knows they’re joking. He knows it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true and no one will just come out and admit it.
He shakes his head to clear his mind of these depressing thoughts and turns around, startled to find the boy right behind him. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks Louis softly, worry clearly showing in his face.
“Yeah,” Louis replies quickly. “Don’t worry about me kid.” He doesn’t mean to call the boy a kid and instantly regrets it when he sees the look on his face.
“I’m not a kid,” he replies. “I’m legal, same as you.” He pauses. “Just because I’m not drunk or high doesn’t mean I’m a kid.” Louis’s a little surprised because while he could tell that the boy wasn’t drunk or even close, he seemed like he was coming down off of some high and Louis just assumed… but no. “If I’m invading your personal time or whatever, I can leave.”
“No.” Louis’s surprised by how desperate he sounds. He doesn’t want the boy to leave him alone. No, he’s sick of feeling alone all the time, and while he doesn’t know him at all, he’s related to him more in the past few minutes than he has with any of his mates the past few weeks. “No, don’t leave,” he tells him. “I just…” But Louis doesn’t know what he ‘just’ at all. He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say anymore, but he doesn’t want this boy to leave.
He’s surprised by how intensely the boy looks at him, almost as if he’s trying to read his emotions, which Louis would let him do any day. “What’s your name?” he asks, and Louis’s kind of startled by the question. Names mean attachments and attachments are the last thing that Louis expects to get out of meeting this boy.
“I’m Louis,” he tells him quietly.
“Louis.” It’s amazing how much better his name sounds coming out of the boy’s mouth. Louis feels like he’s been living for twenty years just for this moment, just so that he can hear the way this stranger says his name because it sounds so good when it rolls off of his tongue. “I like your name, Louis.”
Louis tries to hide the shudder that runs down his spine at the way he says his name again, but the water ripples around him anyway, revealing him better than he ever could. “What’s yours?”
The boy just smiles in response. It’s a playful smile, one that is almost trying to say that Louis is going to have to work at it if he wants to find out the answer to his question. That’s a challenge that Louis’s more than willing to accept.
They stand there for a moment, staring at each other quietly. Louis just wants to touch him, to find out if his perfect skin is as soft as it looks. He wants to explore the things that caught his eye the first time he looked at this strange but beautiful boy. He wants to run his fingers down his cheek, pad his way down his jawline and then slip his hand around the back of his neck as he kisses him. He wants to explore those hollow sections around his collar bones and trace every muscle in his body. All Louis wants to do is touch him and he knows that that’s the one thing he can’t do right now.
The boy is talking about something. Louis doesn’t know what because he hasn’t been paying too much attention. His mind’s been wandering off in all different directions and the part of him that hasn’t has been focusing too much on making sure that he just doesn’t lunge forward and do all of the things he’s been thinking about. It’s a struggle, keeping himself in place, but the last thing he wants to do is jeopardize his chance with him, if there even is one.
Then all of a sudden words start flying from his mouth as he talks above the boy, not even feeling bad for interrupting him. “Are you an angel?” The laugh that he receives in response makes him feel stupid, but it’s an important question. “No, I’m serious.”
“Why would I be an angel?” he replies and Louis sucks in a breath, steading himself so that he doesn’t attack because the look on the boy’s face right now just makes Louis want to kiss it off of him.
“I don’t know,” he manages to respond in a semi-even tone. “I just…you’re so…I don’t know.”
The boy laughs again and Louis is pretty sure he’s going to turn a permanent shade of red by the time the sun rises.
“I’m not an angel. Not even close.” Louis’s kind of surprised that the news shocks him. It wasn’t like he was expecting the boy to tell him that he was an angel sent to watch over Louis or something like that. It’s just that he wasn’t expecting such blunt honesty. The way the boy spoke, it was as if he didn’t even believe angels exist.
Louis’s not religious, but he does believe in angels. Angels are the one staple that have been in Louis’s life ever since he was a little kid, when his mum told him that every night angels were watching over him as he slept. It wasn’t that he thought there were actual angels watching over him, but Louis figures that around the world there are people who are so amazing that they’re almost like angels. Louis has no plans on telling the boy this, but he’s almost certain that he’s one of those people.
He’s not sure what to say at this point, so Louis just shrugs and moves his arms around in the water, trying to distract himself. The boy sinks beneath the surface of the water and reappears a few moments later, his hair plastered to his face and yet surprisingly still holding some semblance of the curls. Louis finds it strange, the way the wants to reach out and just wrap his fingers around a lock of the hair.
There’s so many things that he wants to do to this boy. None of them are good, but all of them are just so tempting that Louis’s finding it harder and harder to resist.
The boy’s eyes sparkle, hinting at potential mischief before he reaches forward and hooks a finger around the collar of Louis’s wet shirt, gripping onto it slightly. Louis wants to ask him what he’s doing, but for some reason he can’t find the words to say anything. He just silently obeys as he’s tugged forward, so close to the boy that he’s almost pressed against him.
“You’ve been staring, you know,” he says as he looks at Louis, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Louis doesn’t even realize that he’s flushing until he feels cool fingers against his cheek. There’s a second of hesitation, a second where he wants to jerk away, but something stops him. Maybe it’s his want of the boy or his want to know the boy, but something stops him from moving and he’s met with a sigh of relief. “I thought you’d pull away,” the boy admits and Louis shakes his head.
“Why would I do that?” It’s amazing how much he’s sobered since he met this strange boy. “You intrigue me.”
“Do I?” It’s interesting to watch the way the boy’s eyes light up as he leans in closer. He’s so close that their foreheads are almost touching, but he stops before they do. It drives Louis mad and all he wants more contact with him, to feel their skin pressed together. Maybe if they were, Louis could slip inside of him and just hide away from the world and all of its responsibilities.
Louis can feel the boy’s breath on his skin and he finds himself closing his eyes, fading away into it. He’s not sure who moves first but there’s a moment of pause before they’re attached, lips pressed against lips. Louis’s kissing him desperately, trying to make sure that he’s got enough air in his lungs so that the kiss never has to end. It feels so good to get lost in this kiss, to find himself being courageous enough to slide an arm around the boy’s waist and tug him closer so that they’re pressed up against each other, only wet layers of clothing keeping warm skin from touching.
When the boy pulls away from him, Louis wants to cry. This is the most real moment that he’s had in a long time and it amazes him how much he doesn’t want it to ever end. He’s even wondering if he can just kidnap this boy and take him back home with him. Zayn and Niall wouldn’t notice, and Liam would but he’d leave it alone because Louis honestly hasn’t felt this happy in the longest time. It’s like everything’s going right in his world and he just wants time to stop so that he can live in this moment forever.
“Can I kiss you again?” Louis asks softly. He can’t believe that he’s asking to kiss him again, but he is. It’s just that he feels desperate to kiss him again, to wrap his arms around him and hold so tightly that he’s sure he’s never going to lose him now. There’s a moment where the boy doesn’t respond and Louis feels like he’s going to explode because he’s certain he’s said the wrong thing. But then he speaks.
“Harry,” he says quietly. “That’s my name.” And then he’s kissing Louis again. It feels like fireworks are exploding inside Louis’s stomach and he finds himself tugging him closer. Harry. Harry. His name is wonderful. It’s not unique in the slightest, but to Louis, it’s exotic all on its own. The way that he’d said his name had made Louis forget everything else.
He wants to kiss Harry forever.
The laughter behind Louis causes them to separate and he turns around to glare at whoever in their right mind dared to interrupt what had to be the be the best kiss of his life. It’s some stupid drunk kids, ones who are probably still in school and snuck into this party when everyone else was already buzzed so that they didn’t get kicked out.
“Let’s go,” Harry says and Louis turns back to him before nodding slightly. They climb out of the pool, Louis gripping a little tightly to Harry as he tries to keep his balance. Getting into the pool was the easy part but getting out requires Louis to climb up slippery steps while still intoxicated, so it’s not easy in the slightest. They make it out with Louis only falling twice, earning more than enough later from the stupid kids behind them. Harry’s so patient with Louis, though. He just keeps a good hold on him and makes sure that Louis doesn’t get hurt.
It’s amazing how much this boy just wants to make sure Louis’s okay. He’s back to the angel theory and is almost definitely sure that Harry’s an angel. There’s no doubt about it. None. Louis shifts closer to Harry and he reaches up, beginning to absently play with one of the wet locks of hair by pulling it off of his neck and twining it around his finger. Harry laughs and he tugs Louis over to a patch of grass safely away from the pool and anyone else who wants to bother them for having a good night.
Louis drops down into the soft grass and he stares up at the sky, smiling slightly as a cluster of stars sparkle above him, flickering softly to let the world know that yes, they are there. Louis’s always loved stars but he’s pretty sure that tonight he’s found a new love for him. The stars were watching over him when he found Harry, so the stars brought Harry to Louis to keep forever.
Louis’s so thankful for the stars.
“What’re you thinking about?” Harry’s voice is soft and Louis actually starts to beam as he looks at Harry, mesmerized by how beautiful the boy is and how wide and curious his eyes are. He kind of wishes he could drown in those eyes.
“How the stars brought you to me.” Harry laughs softly before he leans in and gently kisses Louis.
“I think I brought myself to you,” he tells Louis when he pulls back, smiling. “But sure. Let’s thank the stars.”
Louis grins and he shifts, slinging an arm around Harry and trying to pull him closer than he already is. Somehow Harry ends up half on top of him and Louis’s not complaining in the slightest as he feels Harry’s breaths, slow and soft on top of him. He wraps his arms around the boy and just holds him, smiling quietly to himself before he begins to softly hum, letting a melody create itself in his lungs to just explain how happy he is by this turn of events. When he got to the party he had expected to get so hammered that he couldn’t think straight and then find himself severely hung over and in bed with a stranger in the morning. Louis honestly had no idea that he was going to end up practically falling for a stranger and end up just curled up with them in the grass, watching the stars.
They lose track of time curled up together. Every now and then a kiss is exchanged but it’s mostly just them holding on to each other, not wanting the sun to come up because daylight means responsibilities and reality and everything that’s not this moment here and now. Louis fears that when the party finally ends he’ll never see Harry again and he’s honestly not sure if he can handle that reality.
“Close your eyes,” Harry whispers after he gently kisses the tip of Louis’s nose. It’s starting to get light out and the last thing Louis wants to do is obey because he’s starting to feel downright exhausted. “Just trust me.” Louis obeys and Harry begins pressing gentle kisses to wherever he can find exposed skin. Louis’s cheeks, neck, arms, wrists, hands and even fingertips are drenched in tiny, gentle kisses and he doesn’t want this to ever end. He’s so relaxed and comfortable and he doesn’t even notice that Harry’s stopped until he feels warm breath on his ear. “Get some sleep, Louis,” he whispers and that’s the last thing that Louis remembers before his dark world actually fades to black.
Louis jerks awake when someone lightly kicks him in the side. He sits up, wincing as he’s hit with a terrible headache and instantly looks around to find that Harry’s not there, pressed up against his side. “Lou, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Louis glances up and he shields his eyes from the harsh sunlight to find Liam standing over him, a worried expression on his face. “Are you alright? We couldn’t find you at all last night.”
There’s so many things that Louis wants to say to Liam. He wants to gush his feelings out about last night and how amazing everything was, but there’s no Harry beside him and he fears that there never was a Harry there. It’s at this point that Louis’s wondering if someone drugged one of his drinks and he just hallucinated the entire night. But he couldn’t have, right? No, there’s no way that he could’ve hallucinated those feelings. There’s no way that that wasn’t real.
But Harry’s not there, he’s not anywhere. Louis can’t even find a hint of evidence to prove that the whole thing wasn’t a dream or a trick of the mind because there is none. “Louis?” Liam’s crouched down next to him and he holds something out to him. Louis’s mobile. “Here. Put this in your pocket and let’s head home. You need a shower and some food.”
Louis doesn’t respond as he takes the phone and presses it into the pocket of his trousers. He’s just so miserable right now that not even his massive hangover is much of a bother anymore. All he wants to do is curl up in a ball at the bottom of the pool and drown or rip his heart out and throw it away for these feelings it’s given him. He feels so broken and empty that he wonders why he even came to this stupid party. It just made things worse. Ten times, no. A hundred times worse.
Liam helps him up and he steadies Louis, assisting him as they make their way to the car where he’s already got Zayn and Niall no doubt. Under normal situations, Liam would press Louis’s lack of any response imaginable but he knows that with the amount of alcohol that ended up in Louis’s system last night the man will need a few more hours to process the fact that he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. As they slowly walk along, Louis’s cell chimes softly but they don’t stop to answer it. Louis can’t be bothered to find out who wants to get ahold of him and Liam knows that Louis’s in no right state of mind to check his phone.
When Louis’s safely tucked in the car, a sleeping Niall instantly falling onto his shoulder, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the phone. There’s a text from a number Louis doesn’t know and he hesitates for a moment before opening it.
the stars will always shine for us
don’t forget about me x