What About Now 3/?
Title: What About Now
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: David/Eric (The Downtown Fiction)
Rating: Teen with a possible but unlikely chance of Mature
Summary: If a feeling of uneasiness can move move mountains, Cameron's can move continents, but what happens when uneasiness turns good and the pain becomes wanted?
Warnings: Angst, Confusion, Possible Self-Harm and implications of Rape, Pairing Issues
Author Notes: It is 1:30 in the morning and my brain is dead, but I really wanted to get this posted so that I don't forget that this story exists. I enjoyed writing parts of this chapter, but only parts. The rest of it sucks as far as I care. Anyway, enjoy.
“Hey Cammy-bear,” Eric said as he walked over to the boy, a gentle smile on his face. “How’re you doing?” Cameron shrugged lightly as he began to tune his guitar in preparation for their first concert. “Well,” Eric said as he chewed on his lip ring lightly. “David and I were going to go out to dinner before the concert and we were wondering if you’d like to come with us.”
Cameron shook his head as he tuned his D string. “No thanks,” he said softly, adjusting the flat string. “I’m just going to get in tune and then I’ll find something on my own. You two go and have fun.” Eric frowned as he looked at Cameron, clearly upset with the choice that the wavy haired boy made.
“Come on Cameron. You can tune your guitar when you get back. We just want you to come to dinner with us. We’ll even let you pick the place.” Eric wasn’t sure if this would convince Cameron to come with them, but he really hoped the boy would say yes. He wanted to watch Cameron’s behavior, and what better way to do that than watch his eating habits. The drummer had always been taught that when you wanted to figure out if something was wrong with someone, you watched how they ate. It was just common sense to him.
“I’m really not in the mood Eric,” Cameron said as he sighed quietly. “You two go and have a nice dinner. I’ll be fine, really. Besides, you two deserve a little time alone. I’m always crashing in on your fun.”
Frowning, Eric looked at Cameron. “That’s not true Cam. You know that we always love having you around, so don’t act like a third wheel. We want to hang with our best friend.” An uneasy silence fell between the two boys as Cameron set his guitar down in its case, sighing lightly as he did so.
“I’m not acting like a third wheel,” Cameron told Eric in a soft voice. “I am a third wheel. You two go out and have dinner. I’ll see you guys for the concert.” With that, he jumped off of the wooden block he was sitting on and shut his guitar case before walking away.
“Cam, come back,” Eric pleaded in a slightly desperate voice. He didn’t know what he had done wrong, but Cameron didn’t want to hang out with him. A frown made its way across Eric’s lips as he headed to tell David about this new mood that Cameron had developed.
Cameron, on the other hand, made his way through the wings of the stage until he got to his bag. He pulled out a small bag of pretzels and ripped it open before taking out two and stuffing them in his mouth. He chewed on the pretzels methodically, counting the chews and using it to calm him down from the frustrated mood he had been in before. Cameron didn’t want Eric and David to keep bothering him about stupid things like going out to dinner with them. He hated spending time with the two because no matter where they were, he always felt left out when it came to the three of them.
Normally Cameron would be able to handle this and he wouldn’t have gotten so worked up beneath the surface, but he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days, and his pained stomach just intensified the feelings that he had been working with, so he had to get out of there when he had, or else Eric might have seen a side of Cameron that he didn’t want to share with anyone.
A frustrated sigh came from the boy as he bit down on another pretzel, allowing his tension to be released through chewing on the snack. Cameron wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he was hungry, and the few pretzels he was eating right now just made it worse, but he wasn’t going to change it. He liked the pain just as much as he hated the hunger, so he continued to resort to the food deprivation plan he had himself on. It was easier for him to not eat than to feel all the emotions and pains that he didn’t like, and it made Cameron grateful that he got sick the week previously. Getting sick was exactly what he needed to realize where he could find his anchor and how he could help himself deal with everything.
After taking a fourth pretzel, Cameron dropped the bag to the floor with his clothing change before walking away, knowing if he didn’t do it now, he would eat the entire bag, and Cameron was not about to let that happen. Nibbling quietly on the pretzel, Cameron strolled around the venue, taking it all in with a quiet smile on his face. He couldn’t wait for tonight, and the adrenaline in his veins was already pumping hours before the concert had even begun. Stepping into the back of the place, he looked around the empty place, smiling as he looked up at the stage. In a few hours, he’d be up there, singing his heart out for the people of Chicago, Illinois, and he hoped with all his might that the people would like them and that they wouldn’t screw up.
Cameron ran a quiet hand through his hair as he finished off the pretzel stick, smiling lightly as he did so. He felt calm again, and the little bit of food in his stomach was reminding him that he liked the pain much more than the feeling of being full. Being full always made Cameron feel sick, and he’d rather be hungry and happy than full and sick. He sighed lightly as he headed back towards the backstage area, stopping at his bag and grabbing his vest out of it. He slipped it onto his body and buttoned the buttons, noticing how the vest was looser on him than it had been the last time he had worn it.
Shrugging it off, Cameron left it to his new behavior when it came to food. He didn’t mind it all that much to be honest. He liked how he felt right now, so the fact that his vest was looser on him than usual just contributed to his good mood.
David and Eric were back by the time Cameron got to his guitar, so he waved a brief hello to the both of them before resuming the tuning of his instrument. “How was your dinner?” Eric asked him as he stepped up to the man.
“It was fine,” Cameron told him softly. “Nothing special, but that’s okay. I enjoyed it.” Eric smiled at him as Cameron worked on his G string. “How about you?” Cameron asked him. “Was your dinner nice?”
Eric nodded instantly as he smiled. “It was pretty great, to be honest. We went to this place down the street and they have some pretty great food. Maybe you’d like to come with us after the concert and get something?” Cameron shrugged as he set down his freshly tuned instrument.
“Maybe,” he said softly. “I’m feeling a bit full right now,” he lied through his teeth. “But maybe I’ll be hungry after the concert. We’ll see.” Eric nodded as he leaned back on the block next to Cameron, letting out a soft sigh as he did so. “Hey, don’t you have drums to go set up?”
The boy jumped off of the wooden block and bit his lip. “Maybe,” he mumbled before he edged away from Cameron. “We’ll talk later, okay?” Cameron nodded and he laughed lightly as he watched Eric scramble away to go take care of his instrument. The second Eric was gone, Cameron’s hands made their way around his waist and he swallowed lightly. He was feeling queasy like he had been at the Olive Garden, but this felt worse, because this time he knew he wasn’t sick.
“Not again,” he mumbled. “Please stomach, don’t do this. Not now.” His stomach, unfortunately, didn’t listen to him and continued flipping and churning within him. Cameron let out a frustrated sigh and he leaned back so that he was laying on the block, staring up at the rods and lights above him, a calm hand on his stomach.
“Hey Cam, are you okay?” David asked him as he walked up to him, his bass resting on his back and attached to him by the strap that kept David attached to his baby. “You look kinda sick, and I’m worried about you.”
Cameron sat up on the block and sighed. “I have a bit of a headache. Do you have any Advil with you by chance?”
“Of course I do,” David said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a travel pack of Advil. “You know I always come prepared in case of headaches, seeing as we all get them like crazy.” Cameron smiled and took the medicine from David, relieved that his friend always came prepared when it involved having things that the band needed. David handed Cameron a bottle of water and the boy downed the medicine quickly, hoping that it would work to control the queasiness that was circling around his stomach. “You okay Cam?” David asked him in a soft voice.
“Yeah,” Cameron said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m feeling alright. I just have to wait for the medicine to kick in and then I’m ready to go tonight. This is so exciting.”
A tentative smile spread across David’s lips and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said calmly. “Tonight’s going to be spectacular. I can’t wait to see how many people show up for us.”
“Eric said there’d be at least a million,” Cameron said with a tiny chuckle. “If not more.” David’s smile loosened up a bit and he let out a soft laugh.
“Well, you’ve gotta love Eric,” he said with a grin. “I know I do.” Cameron nodded quietly as his nimble fingers began to play with the sharp edges of the packaging the medicine came in. “Cam,” David sighed as he looked at the boy. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Cameron said as he shook his head. “Not at all.” The smile instantly returned to his face and he looked at David. “I was just thinking about something, that’s all.” He paused and realized that his stomach was slightly under control now. “Ah, headache’s gone,” he told David with a smile.
“And just in time,” David replied as he looked towards the stage. “I hear fans screaming your name, and it’s probably because Eric fails and is out onstage setting up his drum set.”
Cameron laughed lightly. “Probably,” he replied as he picked up his guitar and smiled. “Come on, let’s get out there and make them happy.”
David nodded, and the two of them headed out to the stage. Despite the fact that the two boys were the best of friends, they couldn’t help but be completely different in the current moment. David was a bouncing, happy and healthy bubble of fun right now, and Cameron…Cameron was feeling ill and tired, despite the fact that he had slept for almost ten hours the night before. While David flittered about and introduced them, Cameron stood in the back of the stage, thinking quietly about how long of a night he had ahead of him. It was going to be painful.
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: David/Eric (The Downtown Fiction)
Rating: Teen with a possible but unlikely chance of Mature
Summary: If a feeling of uneasiness can move move mountains, Cameron's can move continents, but what happens when uneasiness turns good and the pain becomes wanted?
Warnings: Angst, Confusion, Possible Self-Harm and implications of Rape, Pairing Issues
Author Notes: It is 1:30 in the morning and my brain is dead, but I really wanted to get this posted so that I don't forget that this story exists. I enjoyed writing parts of this chapter, but only parts. The rest of it sucks as far as I care. Anyway, enjoy.
“Hey Cammy-bear,” Eric said as he walked over to the boy, a gentle smile on his face. “How’re you doing?” Cameron shrugged lightly as he began to tune his guitar in preparation for their first concert. “Well,” Eric said as he chewed on his lip ring lightly. “David and I were going to go out to dinner before the concert and we were wondering if you’d like to come with us.”
Cameron shook his head as he tuned his D string. “No thanks,” he said softly, adjusting the flat string. “I’m just going to get in tune and then I’ll find something on my own. You two go and have fun.” Eric frowned as he looked at Cameron, clearly upset with the choice that the wavy haired boy made.
“Come on Cameron. You can tune your guitar when you get back. We just want you to come to dinner with us. We’ll even let you pick the place.” Eric wasn’t sure if this would convince Cameron to come with them, but he really hoped the boy would say yes. He wanted to watch Cameron’s behavior, and what better way to do that than watch his eating habits. The drummer had always been taught that when you wanted to figure out if something was wrong with someone, you watched how they ate. It was just common sense to him.
“I’m really not in the mood Eric,” Cameron said as he sighed quietly. “You two go and have a nice dinner. I’ll be fine, really. Besides, you two deserve a little time alone. I’m always crashing in on your fun.”
Frowning, Eric looked at Cameron. “That’s not true Cam. You know that we always love having you around, so don’t act like a third wheel. We want to hang with our best friend.” An uneasy silence fell between the two boys as Cameron set his guitar down in its case, sighing lightly as he did so.
“I’m not acting like a third wheel,” Cameron told Eric in a soft voice. “I am a third wheel. You two go out and have dinner. I’ll see you guys for the concert.” With that, he jumped off of the wooden block he was sitting on and shut his guitar case before walking away.
“Cam, come back,” Eric pleaded in a slightly desperate voice. He didn’t know what he had done wrong, but Cameron didn’t want to hang out with him. A frown made its way across Eric’s lips as he headed to tell David about this new mood that Cameron had developed.
Cameron, on the other hand, made his way through the wings of the stage until he got to his bag. He pulled out a small bag of pretzels and ripped it open before taking out two and stuffing them in his mouth. He chewed on the pretzels methodically, counting the chews and using it to calm him down from the frustrated mood he had been in before. Cameron didn’t want Eric and David to keep bothering him about stupid things like going out to dinner with them. He hated spending time with the two because no matter where they were, he always felt left out when it came to the three of them.
Normally Cameron would be able to handle this and he wouldn’t have gotten so worked up beneath the surface, but he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days, and his pained stomach just intensified the feelings that he had been working with, so he had to get out of there when he had, or else Eric might have seen a side of Cameron that he didn’t want to share with anyone.
A frustrated sigh came from the boy as he bit down on another pretzel, allowing his tension to be released through chewing on the snack. Cameron wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he was hungry, and the few pretzels he was eating right now just made it worse, but he wasn’t going to change it. He liked the pain just as much as he hated the hunger, so he continued to resort to the food deprivation plan he had himself on. It was easier for him to not eat than to feel all the emotions and pains that he didn’t like, and it made Cameron grateful that he got sick the week previously. Getting sick was exactly what he needed to realize where he could find his anchor and how he could help himself deal with everything.
After taking a fourth pretzel, Cameron dropped the bag to the floor with his clothing change before walking away, knowing if he didn’t do it now, he would eat the entire bag, and Cameron was not about to let that happen. Nibbling quietly on the pretzel, Cameron strolled around the venue, taking it all in with a quiet smile on his face. He couldn’t wait for tonight, and the adrenaline in his veins was already pumping hours before the concert had even begun. Stepping into the back of the place, he looked around the empty place, smiling as he looked up at the stage. In a few hours, he’d be up there, singing his heart out for the people of Chicago, Illinois, and he hoped with all his might that the people would like them and that they wouldn’t screw up.
Cameron ran a quiet hand through his hair as he finished off the pretzel stick, smiling lightly as he did so. He felt calm again, and the little bit of food in his stomach was reminding him that he liked the pain much more than the feeling of being full. Being full always made Cameron feel sick, and he’d rather be hungry and happy than full and sick. He sighed lightly as he headed back towards the backstage area, stopping at his bag and grabbing his vest out of it. He slipped it onto his body and buttoned the buttons, noticing how the vest was looser on him than it had been the last time he had worn it.
Shrugging it off, Cameron left it to his new behavior when it came to food. He didn’t mind it all that much to be honest. He liked how he felt right now, so the fact that his vest was looser on him than usual just contributed to his good mood.
David and Eric were back by the time Cameron got to his guitar, so he waved a brief hello to the both of them before resuming the tuning of his instrument. “How was your dinner?” Eric asked him as he stepped up to the man.
“It was fine,” Cameron told him softly. “Nothing special, but that’s okay. I enjoyed it.” Eric smiled at him as Cameron worked on his G string. “How about you?” Cameron asked him. “Was your dinner nice?”
Eric nodded instantly as he smiled. “It was pretty great, to be honest. We went to this place down the street and they have some pretty great food. Maybe you’d like to come with us after the concert and get something?” Cameron shrugged as he set down his freshly tuned instrument.
“Maybe,” he said softly. “I’m feeling a bit full right now,” he lied through his teeth. “But maybe I’ll be hungry after the concert. We’ll see.” Eric nodded as he leaned back on the block next to Cameron, letting out a soft sigh as he did so. “Hey, don’t you have drums to go set up?”
The boy jumped off of the wooden block and bit his lip. “Maybe,” he mumbled before he edged away from Cameron. “We’ll talk later, okay?” Cameron nodded and he laughed lightly as he watched Eric scramble away to go take care of his instrument. The second Eric was gone, Cameron’s hands made their way around his waist and he swallowed lightly. He was feeling queasy like he had been at the Olive Garden, but this felt worse, because this time he knew he wasn’t sick.
“Not again,” he mumbled. “Please stomach, don’t do this. Not now.” His stomach, unfortunately, didn’t listen to him and continued flipping and churning within him. Cameron let out a frustrated sigh and he leaned back so that he was laying on the block, staring up at the rods and lights above him, a calm hand on his stomach.
“Hey Cam, are you okay?” David asked him as he walked up to him, his bass resting on his back and attached to him by the strap that kept David attached to his baby. “You look kinda sick, and I’m worried about you.”
Cameron sat up on the block and sighed. “I have a bit of a headache. Do you have any Advil with you by chance?”
“Of course I do,” David said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a travel pack of Advil. “You know I always come prepared in case of headaches, seeing as we all get them like crazy.” Cameron smiled and took the medicine from David, relieved that his friend always came prepared when it involved having things that the band needed. David handed Cameron a bottle of water and the boy downed the medicine quickly, hoping that it would work to control the queasiness that was circling around his stomach. “You okay Cam?” David asked him in a soft voice.
“Yeah,” Cameron said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m feeling alright. I just have to wait for the medicine to kick in and then I’m ready to go tonight. This is so exciting.”
A tentative smile spread across David’s lips and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said calmly. “Tonight’s going to be spectacular. I can’t wait to see how many people show up for us.”
“Eric said there’d be at least a million,” Cameron said with a tiny chuckle. “If not more.” David’s smile loosened up a bit and he let out a soft laugh.
“Well, you’ve gotta love Eric,” he said with a grin. “I know I do.” Cameron nodded quietly as his nimble fingers began to play with the sharp edges of the packaging the medicine came in. “Cam,” David sighed as he looked at the boy. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Cameron said as he shook his head. “Not at all.” The smile instantly returned to his face and he looked at David. “I was just thinking about something, that’s all.” He paused and realized that his stomach was slightly under control now. “Ah, headache’s gone,” he told David with a smile.
“And just in time,” David replied as he looked towards the stage. “I hear fans screaming your name, and it’s probably because Eric fails and is out onstage setting up his drum set.”
Cameron laughed lightly. “Probably,” he replied as he picked up his guitar and smiled. “Come on, let’s get out there and make them happy.”
David nodded, and the two of them headed out to the stage. Despite the fact that the two boys were the best of friends, they couldn’t help but be completely different in the current moment. David was a bouncing, happy and healthy bubble of fun right now, and Cameron…Cameron was feeling ill and tired, despite the fact that he had slept for almost ten hours the night before. While David flittered about and introduced them, Cameron stood in the back of the stage, thinking quietly about how long of a night he had ahead of him. It was going to be painful.