What About Now 2/?
Title: What About Now
Pairing: David/Eric (The Downtown Fiction)
Rating: Teen with a possible but unlikely chance of Mature
Summary: If a feeling of uneasiness can move move mountains, Cameron's can move continents, but what happens when uneasiness turns good and the pain becomes wanted?
Warnings: Angst, Confusion, Possible Self-Harm and implications of Rape, Pairing Issues
Author Notes: This chapter sucks really badly, but I tried to get this done so certain people wouldn't kill me. Hope you enjoy.
The shopping trip had been pretty crazy. Eric and David had literally wasted money away shopping, but Cameron hadn’t been in the mood to shop, so he only bought a few things. He had been feeling queasy since the incident he had at lunch and all he wanted to do was to get home and collapse in bed. It made him relieved that Eric had driven him, because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to handle driving home.
Eric had been helping David pack everything into his car when Cameron’s stomach lurched uneasily, causing him to panic. “Not now,” he whispered before looking over at Eric and David. He bit his lip and his stomach lurched again, so he ran back to the mall without even warning Dave and Eric. Cameron rushed to the bathroom and landed in front of the toilet before he dry heaved. His throat felt raw as he leaned back and gasped for air, massaging his throat as he sat there. Cameron didn’t want to get up and go back right away, but he knew he had to hurry or else Eric and David would be suspicious about his disappearing. Why he wouldn’t tell his friends what was going on, he didn’t know, but Cameron knew he was not going to tell his friends about this. It was not alright.
Cameron’s cell phone rang the second he stood up. Sighing, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered it in a quiet voice. “Hello?” he asked, his voice raspy from puking.
“Cam?” Eric said into the phone. “Where are you? Are you okay?” Cameron bit his lip, instantly feeling bad for causing Eric to be worried about him.
“I’m fine,” Cameron replied quietly. “I just really needed to run to the restroom. I’ll be out in a minute.” With that, he hung up on Eric and got out to wash up before heading back out to his friends. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said softly. “Just couldn’t hold it in.”
Eric nodded quietly as he looked at Cameron. “It’s okay. Let’s get you home okay? It’s been a long day.” David stepped up and hugged Cameron quickly, saying a soft goodbye in his ear before he got in his car and drove home. Eric waited until David was gone before he opened the car door for Cameron. “Come on Cammy-bear.” Cameron got into the car quietly, swallowing to calm his still burning throat. “Are you sure you’re doing alright?”
“I’m fine Eric,” Cameron told him softly. “Just stop worrying. It’s all good.” He was lying through his teeth, and Eric knew it.
“I’m worried about you Cameron,” Eric said softly as he looked at him. “I know you’re lying about being okay, but I don’t know why. I really wish you would just talk to me Cam.”
A tiny shudder ran down Cameron’s spine as he shook his head. “I just feel a little sick, that’s all. I just ate too much too fast and now my stomach’s feeling a little queasy. That’s all this is, I swear.” This lie must have been more convincing, because Eric looked at Cameron before shrugging and starting the car. Cameron leaned back in his seat and sighed lightly, placing a calm hand on his grumbling stomach.
“Feel better,” Eric told Cameron quietly as he looked at him. Cameron flashed Eric a small smile, trying to make him understand that he was okay, even though he really wasn’t. In silence, Eric drove Cameron home. “Do you want me to stay and keep you company?” Eric asked Cam softly as he pulled into his driveway.
Cameron shook his head. “No,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to. Go be with your boyfriend, okay? I’ll be fine.” Eric looked at Cameron quietly, frowning as he did so. “Eric,” Cameron said as he twisted in his seat so he was facing him. “I’m going to be fine, I promise you that.”
“Are you sure?” Eric asked him softly. “I don’t want to leave you here alone and miserable.” Cameron gave Eric a pointed look, frowning as he did so. “Okay then,” Eric said quietly. “I just want to make you happy okay? I love you.”
In addition to his stomach, Cameron’s heart began to hurt in a pained fashion. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “You too.” With that, he unhooked his seatbelt and opened the car door. “Bye Eric.” Pushing the door open, Cameron stepped out of the car and gave Eric a faint smile before shutting his car door. Eric waved to him before he drove off to go take care of his shopping and then spend some time with David.
Cameron fell onto his couch the second he got into his apartment with a frustrated sigh. Hot tears prickled in his eyes as he buried his face into the pillow, sniffling lightly. His head was pounding and his heart was just in pain as his stomach groaned and fought beneath him. He just wanted to stop feeling all this pain he was in. His full body just was killing him and he wanted it to stop. Tears soaked the pillow as Cameron squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his stomach pain. Keeping it in mind numbed his heart and quelled his head, leaving just the dull, coursing pain in his body.
This was how he could control his pain and keep everything in check. A tiny smile appeared on Cameron’s face as he let his mind focus on the pain, feeling the stomach pangs and for once feeling joy in it. He rolled over on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, smiling lightly despite his pain. It was a good pain. Not having food in his stomach made Cameron feel good, and he was going to keep it that way. He wanted to have an anchor, and this pain was giving him the anchor he needed.
“It’s a good pain,” Cameron whispered as he smiled. “A good pain.” He fell asleep there on the couch minutes later, a smile on his face and a hand over his churning stomach.
~
The sound of the honking van rang from outside of Cameron’s house and the man ran down the stairs with his bags. “Coming!” he shouted as he slung his laptop over his shoulder and shoved his guitar and suitcases into his hands. Rushing out the door, Cameron grinned as he looked at his band. “Hey!” he grinned as he set the guitar down in front of their brand new van. Dave jumped out of the passenger seat before hugging Cameron tightly.
“Hey Cam, how’re you feeling?” Cam’s smile sobered a bit as he looked at David, instantly knowing that he was talking about the Olive Garden incident the week before. “A bit better than last week?” he clarified, smiling radiantly.
“Yeah,” Cameron replied as he nodded. “I feel great to be honest. Who’s driving first?” He grinned as he opened the back door of the van before shoving his suitcase in the back row with the others. Dave took his guitar to the back with the rest of the band items. “I’ll drive first.”
Eric stepped out of the van and looked at Cameron. “Well I was going to drive, but if you want to, then go ahead.” He shoved the keys into Cameron’s open hand and grinned. “More relaxing time for me.” David chuckled as Eric leaned against the van and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. Cameron snuck up to the other side of the van, got inside and pulled the door Eric was leaning on open, causing the drummer to fall back into Cameron on the seat. “Cam you are a bitch!”
Laughing, Cameron pulled Eric into a tight hug. “I know jerk, I know.” Eric smiled and flung his arms around Cameron’s neck, hugging him awkwardly despite the fact that he was facing the wrong way for a hug. The hug soon turned into a playful catfight when Eric ruffled Cameron’s hair and shoved him out of the van. Cameron pounced on Eric, tackling him with graceful ease as he lightly battled his best friend. The boys wrestled in the back seat of the van until David broke it up, pulling Eric off of a squirming Cameron and into a kiss.
Cameron watched quietly as Eric pushed David against the van, kissing him passionately as he did so. When the make-out got a little too close to turning into something else, Cameron coughed and got out of the van to get into the driver’s seat. David flushed lightly and ducked under Eric’s arm, freeing himself from his chuckling boyfriend. “I call shotgun!” David shouted as he climbed into the passenger’s seat.
“Fine,” Eric told him softly. “But that means you get to drive next.” David shrugged as he turned to look at Eric who was currently shutting the van doors. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Upon hearing that, Cameron started the van and they headed out into uncharted territory.
Cameron was only able to drive for an hour before his head began to pound and his vision started to blur. By the time David was driving, he had curled up in the back seat, trying to relieve the pain. He was cradling his head in two soft pillows he had brought along just for something like this. Eric looked back at him worriedly, watching the singer wrinkle his nose as he tried to focus the pain away.
Two hours into the drive, Cameron fell asleep in the backseat, and when Eric took on his turn to drive, David didn’t bother to wake him up. “Let him sleep,” he told Eric as he moved to wake up the sleeping boy. “He must be exhausted if he’s falling asleep on us on our way to the first venue.” Eric sighed and protested lightly to David, but he agreed with him. Besides, it gave him some time to talk to David, and he knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.
“Dave,” Eric said quietly as to not wake up Cameron. David turned to look at him with a gentle smile on his face. “Can we talk about Cameron?” The smile disappeared from David’s face, but he nodded quietly, waiting for Eric to talk. “I’m worried about him,” Eric told David softly. “He seems happy and okay, but he’s always so, I don’t know. Half of the times I went over to his house this week, he was asleep, in the middle of the day. Cameron’s not one to nap ever, and he’s been acting different.”
David sighed softly. “I bet he’s just sick Eric. People need to sleep when they get sick, and the acting different could be because he was sick and he got grumpy. I really don’t think anything’s wrong with him.”
“David,” Eric interrupted. “He hasn’t been grumpy. He’s been happy, like today, but it’s not a Cameron happy. His smiles are empty, and his emotions aren’t fully there.” David sighed quietly as he looked at Eric.
“What exactly have you noticed about him that’s different exactly?” he asked Eric softly, pausing to look at Cameron with a frown on his face. The boy was curled up in a tight ball, his body looking smaller than it had the last time David had watched Cameron sleep. He had been really sick that day and David had promised to watch over him while he slept, since he had been taking care of him.
Eric sighed quietly as he tried to figure out a way to explain to David the miniscule changes he had noticed in his best friend. “For one, his smiles all have this kind of hardness to them. He doesn’t smile to mean it anymore. It’s more like he smiles just to make people happy. The offering to drive thing, that wasn’t normal Cameron behavior either. Cam’s the last person who ever wants to drive, but when he does drive, he can usually hold his own for a good six or seven hours. Today he barely made it through an hour before he passed out. It’s just not him.”
“But Eric, we can’t question him on a basis of ‘you’re not yourself.’ It just won’t work.” David let out a soft sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “We need something solid if we’re going to try and talk to him.” Eric frowned as he thought for something that he had seen change in Cameron that could support something really being wrong with him.
“I’ve got nothing,” he told David softly, but by the look on David’s face, he assumed he already knew that. “But we need to figure out what’s wrong with him. He’s not himself Dave, and I don’t like that.”
David bit his lip and nodded quietly. “I agree with you Eric. He’s not himself, and it’s worrying me too, but we can’t just barge in on his life and declare he tells us what’s wrong unless we have a good reason to.”
“Aren’t being his best friends and being worried good enough reasons?” Eric countered as he pulled off of the interstate and onto their exit. Next to him, David shook his head. “I just want to make him better Dave.”
Sighing, David nodded. “I know Eric, I know. Just, let’s give him some time okay? If we can’t figure out what’s wrong with him and he doesn’t get any better during the first week of tour, we’ll ask him, okay?” Eric nodded as he sighed, worry exiting his body and filling up the front seat of the van. They were both insanely worried about their friend, but they didn’t know what to do.
David looked back at Cameron, frowning. The boy looked so fragile and calm as he slept, that it almost made him want to think that nothing was wrong with him. He didn’t know how to fix the peaceful, and Cameron definitely fell beneath that category. Another soft sigh escaped from David’s lips and he looked at Cameron, his eyes softening as he sighed. “We’ll fix him,” he thought to himself as he spared a soft glance at Eric. They were both worried, and they had a right to.
Cameron was hiding something from his best friends, and Dave and Eric were determined to figure it out. They weren’t going to leave him be about this. They cared too much.
Pairing: David/Eric (The Downtown Fiction)
Rating: Teen with a possible but unlikely chance of Mature
Summary: If a feeling of uneasiness can move move mountains, Cameron's can move continents, but what happens when uneasiness turns good and the pain becomes wanted?
Warnings: Angst, Confusion, Possible Self-Harm and implications of Rape, Pairing Issues
Author Notes: This chapter sucks really badly, but I tried to get this done so certain people wouldn't kill me. Hope you enjoy.
The shopping trip had been pretty crazy. Eric and David had literally wasted money away shopping, but Cameron hadn’t been in the mood to shop, so he only bought a few things. He had been feeling queasy since the incident he had at lunch and all he wanted to do was to get home and collapse in bed. It made him relieved that Eric had driven him, because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to handle driving home.
Eric had been helping David pack everything into his car when Cameron’s stomach lurched uneasily, causing him to panic. “Not now,” he whispered before looking over at Eric and David. He bit his lip and his stomach lurched again, so he ran back to the mall without even warning Dave and Eric. Cameron rushed to the bathroom and landed in front of the toilet before he dry heaved. His throat felt raw as he leaned back and gasped for air, massaging his throat as he sat there. Cameron didn’t want to get up and go back right away, but he knew he had to hurry or else Eric and David would be suspicious about his disappearing. Why he wouldn’t tell his friends what was going on, he didn’t know, but Cameron knew he was not going to tell his friends about this. It was not alright.
Cameron’s cell phone rang the second he stood up. Sighing, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered it in a quiet voice. “Hello?” he asked, his voice raspy from puking.
“Cam?” Eric said into the phone. “Where are you? Are you okay?” Cameron bit his lip, instantly feeling bad for causing Eric to be worried about him.
“I’m fine,” Cameron replied quietly. “I just really needed to run to the restroom. I’ll be out in a minute.” With that, he hung up on Eric and got out to wash up before heading back out to his friends. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said softly. “Just couldn’t hold it in.”
Eric nodded quietly as he looked at Cameron. “It’s okay. Let’s get you home okay? It’s been a long day.” David stepped up and hugged Cameron quickly, saying a soft goodbye in his ear before he got in his car and drove home. Eric waited until David was gone before he opened the car door for Cameron. “Come on Cammy-bear.” Cameron got into the car quietly, swallowing to calm his still burning throat. “Are you sure you’re doing alright?”
“I’m fine Eric,” Cameron told him softly. “Just stop worrying. It’s all good.” He was lying through his teeth, and Eric knew it.
“I’m worried about you Cameron,” Eric said softly as he looked at him. “I know you’re lying about being okay, but I don’t know why. I really wish you would just talk to me Cam.”
A tiny shudder ran down Cameron’s spine as he shook his head. “I just feel a little sick, that’s all. I just ate too much too fast and now my stomach’s feeling a little queasy. That’s all this is, I swear.” This lie must have been more convincing, because Eric looked at Cameron before shrugging and starting the car. Cameron leaned back in his seat and sighed lightly, placing a calm hand on his grumbling stomach.
“Feel better,” Eric told Cameron quietly as he looked at him. Cameron flashed Eric a small smile, trying to make him understand that he was okay, even though he really wasn’t. In silence, Eric drove Cameron home. “Do you want me to stay and keep you company?” Eric asked Cam softly as he pulled into his driveway.
Cameron shook his head. “No,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to. Go be with your boyfriend, okay? I’ll be fine.” Eric looked at Cameron quietly, frowning as he did so. “Eric,” Cameron said as he twisted in his seat so he was facing him. “I’m going to be fine, I promise you that.”
“Are you sure?” Eric asked him softly. “I don’t want to leave you here alone and miserable.” Cameron gave Eric a pointed look, frowning as he did so. “Okay then,” Eric said quietly. “I just want to make you happy okay? I love you.”
In addition to his stomach, Cameron’s heart began to hurt in a pained fashion. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “You too.” With that, he unhooked his seatbelt and opened the car door. “Bye Eric.” Pushing the door open, Cameron stepped out of the car and gave Eric a faint smile before shutting his car door. Eric waved to him before he drove off to go take care of his shopping and then spend some time with David.
Cameron fell onto his couch the second he got into his apartment with a frustrated sigh. Hot tears prickled in his eyes as he buried his face into the pillow, sniffling lightly. His head was pounding and his heart was just in pain as his stomach groaned and fought beneath him. He just wanted to stop feeling all this pain he was in. His full body just was killing him and he wanted it to stop. Tears soaked the pillow as Cameron squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his stomach pain. Keeping it in mind numbed his heart and quelled his head, leaving just the dull, coursing pain in his body.
This was how he could control his pain and keep everything in check. A tiny smile appeared on Cameron’s face as he let his mind focus on the pain, feeling the stomach pangs and for once feeling joy in it. He rolled over on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, smiling lightly despite his pain. It was a good pain. Not having food in his stomach made Cameron feel good, and he was going to keep it that way. He wanted to have an anchor, and this pain was giving him the anchor he needed.
“It’s a good pain,” Cameron whispered as he smiled. “A good pain.” He fell asleep there on the couch minutes later, a smile on his face and a hand over his churning stomach.
~
The sound of the honking van rang from outside of Cameron’s house and the man ran down the stairs with his bags. “Coming!” he shouted as he slung his laptop over his shoulder and shoved his guitar and suitcases into his hands. Rushing out the door, Cameron grinned as he looked at his band. “Hey!” he grinned as he set the guitar down in front of their brand new van. Dave jumped out of the passenger seat before hugging Cameron tightly.
“Hey Cam, how’re you feeling?” Cam’s smile sobered a bit as he looked at David, instantly knowing that he was talking about the Olive Garden incident the week before. “A bit better than last week?” he clarified, smiling radiantly.
“Yeah,” Cameron replied as he nodded. “I feel great to be honest. Who’s driving first?” He grinned as he opened the back door of the van before shoving his suitcase in the back row with the others. Dave took his guitar to the back with the rest of the band items. “I’ll drive first.”
Eric stepped out of the van and looked at Cameron. “Well I was going to drive, but if you want to, then go ahead.” He shoved the keys into Cameron’s open hand and grinned. “More relaxing time for me.” David chuckled as Eric leaned against the van and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. Cameron snuck up to the other side of the van, got inside and pulled the door Eric was leaning on open, causing the drummer to fall back into Cameron on the seat. “Cam you are a bitch!”
Laughing, Cameron pulled Eric into a tight hug. “I know jerk, I know.” Eric smiled and flung his arms around Cameron’s neck, hugging him awkwardly despite the fact that he was facing the wrong way for a hug. The hug soon turned into a playful catfight when Eric ruffled Cameron’s hair and shoved him out of the van. Cameron pounced on Eric, tackling him with graceful ease as he lightly battled his best friend. The boys wrestled in the back seat of the van until David broke it up, pulling Eric off of a squirming Cameron and into a kiss.
Cameron watched quietly as Eric pushed David against the van, kissing him passionately as he did so. When the make-out got a little too close to turning into something else, Cameron coughed and got out of the van to get into the driver’s seat. David flushed lightly and ducked under Eric’s arm, freeing himself from his chuckling boyfriend. “I call shotgun!” David shouted as he climbed into the passenger’s seat.
“Fine,” Eric told him softly. “But that means you get to drive next.” David shrugged as he turned to look at Eric who was currently shutting the van doors. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Upon hearing that, Cameron started the van and they headed out into uncharted territory.
Cameron was only able to drive for an hour before his head began to pound and his vision started to blur. By the time David was driving, he had curled up in the back seat, trying to relieve the pain. He was cradling his head in two soft pillows he had brought along just for something like this. Eric looked back at him worriedly, watching the singer wrinkle his nose as he tried to focus the pain away.
Two hours into the drive, Cameron fell asleep in the backseat, and when Eric took on his turn to drive, David didn’t bother to wake him up. “Let him sleep,” he told Eric as he moved to wake up the sleeping boy. “He must be exhausted if he’s falling asleep on us on our way to the first venue.” Eric sighed and protested lightly to David, but he agreed with him. Besides, it gave him some time to talk to David, and he knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.
“Dave,” Eric said quietly as to not wake up Cameron. David turned to look at him with a gentle smile on his face. “Can we talk about Cameron?” The smile disappeared from David’s face, but he nodded quietly, waiting for Eric to talk. “I’m worried about him,” Eric told David softly. “He seems happy and okay, but he’s always so, I don’t know. Half of the times I went over to his house this week, he was asleep, in the middle of the day. Cameron’s not one to nap ever, and he’s been acting different.”
David sighed softly. “I bet he’s just sick Eric. People need to sleep when they get sick, and the acting different could be because he was sick and he got grumpy. I really don’t think anything’s wrong with him.”
“David,” Eric interrupted. “He hasn’t been grumpy. He’s been happy, like today, but it’s not a Cameron happy. His smiles are empty, and his emotions aren’t fully there.” David sighed quietly as he looked at Eric.
“What exactly have you noticed about him that’s different exactly?” he asked Eric softly, pausing to look at Cameron with a frown on his face. The boy was curled up in a tight ball, his body looking smaller than it had the last time David had watched Cameron sleep. He had been really sick that day and David had promised to watch over him while he slept, since he had been taking care of him.
Eric sighed quietly as he tried to figure out a way to explain to David the miniscule changes he had noticed in his best friend. “For one, his smiles all have this kind of hardness to them. He doesn’t smile to mean it anymore. It’s more like he smiles just to make people happy. The offering to drive thing, that wasn’t normal Cameron behavior either. Cam’s the last person who ever wants to drive, but when he does drive, he can usually hold his own for a good six or seven hours. Today he barely made it through an hour before he passed out. It’s just not him.”
“But Eric, we can’t question him on a basis of ‘you’re not yourself.’ It just won’t work.” David let out a soft sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “We need something solid if we’re going to try and talk to him.” Eric frowned as he thought for something that he had seen change in Cameron that could support something really being wrong with him.
“I’ve got nothing,” he told David softly, but by the look on David’s face, he assumed he already knew that. “But we need to figure out what’s wrong with him. He’s not himself Dave, and I don’t like that.”
David bit his lip and nodded quietly. “I agree with you Eric. He’s not himself, and it’s worrying me too, but we can’t just barge in on his life and declare he tells us what’s wrong unless we have a good reason to.”
“Aren’t being his best friends and being worried good enough reasons?” Eric countered as he pulled off of the interstate and onto their exit. Next to him, David shook his head. “I just want to make him better Dave.”
Sighing, David nodded. “I know Eric, I know. Just, let’s give him some time okay? If we can’t figure out what’s wrong with him and he doesn’t get any better during the first week of tour, we’ll ask him, okay?” Eric nodded as he sighed, worry exiting his body and filling up the front seat of the van. They were both insanely worried about their friend, but they didn’t know what to do.
David looked back at Cameron, frowning. The boy looked so fragile and calm as he slept, that it almost made him want to think that nothing was wrong with him. He didn’t know how to fix the peaceful, and Cameron definitely fell beneath that category. Another soft sigh escaped from David’s lips and he looked at Cameron, his eyes softening as he sighed. “We’ll fix him,” he thought to himself as he spared a soft glance at Eric. They were both worried, and they had a right to.
Cameron was hiding something from his best friends, and Dave and Eric were determined to figure it out. They weren’t going to leave him be about this. They cared too much.