Pre-post Post Toasties posters, post haste!
The Mighty Monkey has been tagged by Isisincognito. What's a prim-mate to do?
RANDOM 20 THINGS ABOUT....ME.
1. I am an urban slang online dictionary whore. Wordsmithing is my guilty pleasure. Spoatey-oatey gishkabibble harnana-glarb.
Ex: n. harg. 1) a hug primarily for support rather than affection, i.e. to keep from falling down when laughing. 2) a hurtful hug. 3) Sound made by hargers upon harging. Duh.
vt. Harging, n. Harger
2. I learned how to make a weird hand puppet when I was in kindergarden. I figured how to make it this talking morphing dog thing and I've been teaching it to everyone ever since. I'll post a pic one day, and if you meet someone who knows it, they probably know me, since I’ve never met anyone else ever who knew about it previously.
3. Under the right circumstances, I can make a four-toned raspberry on...um...another person. Yeah, about that....
4. I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. My official title varies seasonally. In order to defend my loved ones from unwanted viral memes, I have had to convert them.
5. Take it or leave it with a grain of salt, but when I'm a little tipsy or sleep deprived I'd almost swear I was a bard, a cat, a bird, and a woman other lifetimes.
6. I worry about my computer time. I can write off a lot as IM to long distance girlfriend, online classes, and computer desk job, but that means news, surfing, and video games got dumps in they trunk.
7. I have independently discovered sure-fire way to stay awake on long car trips: masturbation. Actually I use a non-erotic variant, because, practically one doesn’t want to fall asleep or be arrested. A simple irregular pulsing of the frenulum suffices to stimulate awareness. Or to paraphrase Dune: “If you whack without rhythm, you won’t veer off the road.”
8. I practice vulgarity and taboos as an exercise and an art.
9. With regards to laughter induced cataplexy (loss of muscle control due to strong emotion such as fear, laughter, anger, etc), scoring is as follows:
- Staggering, stumbling, limp at waist, or any position requiring support (chair, chin-up bar, another person see HARGING) = HALF POINT
- Hands to floor, falling out of chair, off chin-up bar (from HALF POINT to ground) or anything that would win a standard sumo match = FULL POINT
- BONUS POINTS for projectiles (bodily and otherwise), fluids, irregular sounds (snorts, qualifying wheezes, screams), and unconsciousness.
10. I haven’t bothered to learn to blow gum bubbles.
11. I’m a novice dreamer of sorts, so I only remember my dreams a couple times a week on average, but I’m up to a few lucid dreams a month. You can too! Check out www.lucidity.com for starting tips. I found the sections on reality checks, staying in dreams, and keeping a journal to be most helpful.
12. I have never owned a cell phone.
13. I want to be able to independently move all the voluntary muscles in my face.
14. A cat had babies by my head once. Though I didn’t get the chance to watch it all the way through, I highly recommend it. Monkey Moms and Moms-to-Be: Birth is the easy part. Afterbirth, though….lemme just say it’s all about the postseason.
15. Once, someone scared themselves to tears as a result of my full-body impression of Gollum. I felt equal parts guilty and proud. He’s not a nice creature.
16. When I was little I used to wonder that if our senses had a delay from our organs to our brains to consciousness, then what about our thoughts? Would we ever know that such a delay was present? Do thinking and feeling go together, timewise? If we’re all behind then will no one notice? Bothered me for a long time, that did.
17. I once showed a Syrian how to use the internet to find pornography. Ain’t America great?
18. My right thumb is a ‘hitchhiker’s thumb’ because it bends back 90˚ degrees. My left thumb only bends back about 45˚ degrees. Nothing to cause panic.
19. For the safety of all concerned, do not attempt to groom me while I eat. No self-respecting animal pauses mid-repast to wipe away a perfectly good extra-oral morsel, including myself. Compared to the abuses of the rest of humanity, that bit of food that’s shattering your perfect world should be the least of anyone’s concern.
20. God! I am such a child! Wouldn’t be any fun if I wasn’t.
RANDOM 20 THINGS ABOUT....ME.
1. I am an urban slang online dictionary whore. Wordsmithing is my guilty pleasure. Spoatey-oatey gishkabibble harnana-glarb.
Ex: n. harg. 1) a hug primarily for support rather than affection, i.e. to keep from falling down when laughing. 2) a hurtful hug. 3) Sound made by hargers upon harging. Duh.
vt. Harging, n. Harger
2. I learned how to make a weird hand puppet when I was in kindergarden. I figured how to make it this talking morphing dog thing and I've been teaching it to everyone ever since. I'll post a pic one day, and if you meet someone who knows it, they probably know me, since I’ve never met anyone else ever who knew about it previously.
3. Under the right circumstances, I can make a four-toned raspberry on...um...another person. Yeah, about that....
4. I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. My official title varies seasonally. In order to defend my loved ones from unwanted viral memes, I have had to convert them.
5. Take it or leave it with a grain of salt, but when I'm a little tipsy or sleep deprived I'd almost swear I was a bard, a cat, a bird, and a woman other lifetimes.
6. I worry about my computer time. I can write off a lot as IM to long distance girlfriend, online classes, and computer desk job, but that means news, surfing, and video games got dumps in they trunk.
7. I have independently discovered sure-fire way to stay awake on long car trips: masturbation. Actually I use a non-erotic variant, because, practically one doesn’t want to fall asleep or be arrested. A simple irregular pulsing of the frenulum suffices to stimulate awareness. Or to paraphrase Dune: “If you whack without rhythm, you won’t veer off the road.”
8. I practice vulgarity and taboos as an exercise and an art.
9. With regards to laughter induced cataplexy (loss of muscle control due to strong emotion such as fear, laughter, anger, etc), scoring is as follows:
- Staggering, stumbling, limp at waist, or any position requiring support (chair, chin-up bar, another person see HARGING) = HALF POINT
- Hands to floor, falling out of chair, off chin-up bar (from HALF POINT to ground) or anything that would win a standard sumo match = FULL POINT
- BONUS POINTS for projectiles (bodily and otherwise), fluids, irregular sounds (snorts, qualifying wheezes, screams), and unconsciousness.
10. I haven’t bothered to learn to blow gum bubbles.
11. I’m a novice dreamer of sorts, so I only remember my dreams a couple times a week on average, but I’m up to a few lucid dreams a month. You can too! Check out www.lucidity.com for starting tips. I found the sections on reality checks, staying in dreams, and keeping a journal to be most helpful.
12. I have never owned a cell phone.
13. I want to be able to independently move all the voluntary muscles in my face.
14. A cat had babies by my head once. Though I didn’t get the chance to watch it all the way through, I highly recommend it. Monkey Moms and Moms-to-Be: Birth is the easy part. Afterbirth, though….lemme just say it’s all about the postseason.
15. Once, someone scared themselves to tears as a result of my full-body impression of Gollum. I felt equal parts guilty and proud. He’s not a nice creature.
16. When I was little I used to wonder that if our senses had a delay from our organs to our brains to consciousness, then what about our thoughts? Would we ever know that such a delay was present? Do thinking and feeling go together, timewise? If we’re all behind then will no one notice? Bothered me for a long time, that did.
17. I once showed a Syrian how to use the internet to find pornography. Ain’t America great?
18. My right thumb is a ‘hitchhiker’s thumb’ because it bends back 90˚ degrees. My left thumb only bends back about 45˚ degrees. Nothing to cause panic.
19. For the safety of all concerned, do not attempt to groom me while I eat. No self-respecting animal pauses mid-repast to wipe away a perfectly good extra-oral morsel, including myself. Compared to the abuses of the rest of humanity, that bit of food that’s shattering your perfect world should be the least of anyone’s concern.
20. God! I am such a child! Wouldn’t be any fun if I wasn’t.