.bed
*insert general noise made by sticking out tongue and exhaling here*
Kinda feel like that. I keep thinking. (Dangerous, I know.) Lots of things to think about.
I really kinda wish I weren't so frustrated. With... everything. I also wish thing didn't keep happening to make me frustrated at everything, but that's asking for a lot, so I'd just settle for the frustration, or at least some of it to go away.
I'd really like to skip classes tomorrow. I may, I may not. I'm not sure, yet. I don't know if I'd do anything worth while in the time I should be in class, that's mostly the thing. And I'd miss a lot in New Testament. And my French Lit. in Trans. class is only six people, and I'm good friend with two of them- it would be rather obvious if I weren't there. Still feeling blah and don't want to. I've never missed either of those classes.
But what would I do in the time? Sleep in. There's a Ceramics class and a Photo class in Mon. mornings, so I couldn't just go throw my six cylinders or develop my copious amounts of film. Just sleeping in seems like a waste. Oh dear lord... I just realized how bitingly satirical this all is- I've just finished my fic for "Sloth" in the 7 Deadly Sins. *headthwap*
So, basically, I should go to class.
I have to throw six cylinders tomorrow night, for Tuesday. Thank god they don't have to be perfect. They're just for practice, so we can cut them in half and see what we did wrong and right, to learn from it. And I have to glaze our body part. I totally forgot to do that this weekend.
I need to read Peter Pan by Wed. Well, at least something. I did have a whole week to read it, and I didn't, so I really should read it all. It's only 200 pages. That's nothing, really. My meeting is on Wed., so I do have some more time for that. I'm feeling very overwhelmed and freaking about it, thus getting less done.
I have to come up with something to show Robert. I'm really feeling bad and worried about my IS. The idea is there, the attempt is there, I think... I'm worried about that. But I'm just got getting results. Monday marks Week 8, of 14. And what have I got to show for it? I feel like nothing. Probably because I don't have much.
My dad suggested importing water, to develop with. The temp. is really only critical for the developer part, after that, so long as it's not so hot in the final rinse it melts the emulsion off the film, or is ice cold, you're fine. Water works in different areas... I can mix to get it at 70 degrees. It bugs me that I didn't think of that. That's the way they did it in the old days. I just sort of... gave up. I did try both sides, three times, and asked people that I saw there about it. I looked for valves that had been shut off. There weren't any exposed. So I guess I did try. But I didn't win in the end, so I feel like I gave up. Didn't see a fairly obvious answer right in front of me. Or maybe just half-hidden. Like that violet behind the mossy rock that Kurt likes so much.
So I figured out how I want to mount my Lace photos, my Is photo project this semester. It's very original, I think. My original epiphany didn't work out, but the second one did. Shimmery, glossy, sheer red fabric (organza) over black mat board. The back board is 16'' x 20'', the print 11'' x 14'', mounted on a thin piece of mat board so that it lies flat (fiber paper otherwise won't). The red is sheer, so the black shows through, and the shimmery effect is very piratey and overall cool. I played with fabrics at the fabric store, today.
And I found blood red lace with roses on it. I've been searching for that bloody stuff for years. Lace's piece of lace she wears hanging from her bodice is supposed to be blood red. But I couldn't find any, so we had tried to die white lace red... FAIL. So it's kind of been... pink. But the only problem now is that I can't switch them out, because the color is so different in saturation, that even in black and white photos, it will be an obvious difference. Grrr. But I found it. And I bought enough to make a ton of handkerchiefs for later.
In short, I kind of have a shit-load to do tomorrow night, and then only slightly less on Tues. night.
So my favorite lens is gone. I wanted to replace it, I still kinda do, but after talking to my dad, I realized things...
After this semester, the 28-70mm is going to be kind of worthless to me. It was $100 new. Now the replacement's like $400 new. I do have two other perfectly good lenses. And if my 18-55mm wasn't attached to the malfunctioning D50 that's on it's way to Nikon, I'd just use that. Why'd they have to get all fucked up so close together? Technology, again.
So I could get another lens... but that could also run a lot. And I can make do, I suppose. A bit more tricky, but could be done. The problem with that is that I'm tried of curve balls and I just want something to go right, and be easy.
Wow, this is a seriously long post... getting a bunch of stuff off my chest, I guess. Feel better, now. Still not tired, unfortunately.
No, no I don't think I'll get off it, for a bit, yet. Later, though, later I will.
And I promise (for those of you still with me) that my next post will not be depressing- I'll put up the link to 4. Sloth, which I've titled "Happy Fallacies"
The wheels are turning for the others. And I've oddly enough just been struck by the idea to work on the Conversations arc, again... My Muse is certainly a crazy one.