the raindrops cling onto the window and slowly fall
you wake up in the middle of the night in the darkness and he says he loves you.
he says he loves you. he loves you. and you have half a mind to believe him, half a mind to reciprocate his words as you had done with feelings from the beginning. he looks at you with a hint of something flickering in his eyes, and you repeat your words to him as you had done to your mirror, hoping him to say those words and now he has, so you do say it.
you say it and mean it. he said it.
he looks out of the window, his face sad or a foreign expression resembling sadness. a substitution. you hug him from behind, you breathe into that crevass between his neck and shoulder and you wish that one day he will
he will
he will
do something. you let go and he turns around to face you and looks down, and he lays down again on the bed.
you look after him for some time and think, what am i
doing here?
you yourself, look out at the darkness, cars lighting the way like a path of fireflies and it makes you feel faint at the life that's out there. the life.
your love is something you cannot forgive yourself for and one day, you will amend it, and you will repent for it. but that time is not now.
for now, you are afraid of so many things and his body lying there like an artist's human study is something like an elephant in your glass mind.
one day you will not be afraid of the future or headlights or roads leading to nowhere.
and you'll find nothing is fearful anymore. your eyes feel leaden and you are a paper doll. cut a shape out of it, you tell him, i love you.
he says he loves you. he loves you. and you have half a mind to believe him, half a mind to reciprocate his words as you had done with feelings from the beginning. he looks at you with a hint of something flickering in his eyes, and you repeat your words to him as you had done to your mirror, hoping him to say those words and now he has, so you do say it.
you say it and mean it. he said it.
he looks out of the window, his face sad or a foreign expression resembling sadness. a substitution. you hug him from behind, you breathe into that crevass between his neck and shoulder and you wish that one day he will
he will
he will
do something. you let go and he turns around to face you and looks down, and he lays down again on the bed.
you look after him for some time and think, what am i
doing here?
you yourself, look out at the darkness, cars lighting the way like a path of fireflies and it makes you feel faint at the life that's out there. the life.
your love is something you cannot forgive yourself for and one day, you will amend it, and you will repent for it. but that time is not now.
for now, you are afraid of so many things and his body lying there like an artist's human study is something like an elephant in your glass mind.
one day you will not be afraid of the future or headlights or roads leading to nowhere.
and you'll find nothing is fearful anymore. your eyes feel leaden and you are a paper doll. cut a shape out of it, you tell him, i love you.