He knows my gloomy chain, but I might never know my rain
I had one of the most unenjoyable Chinese New Years ever this year, even though I know I must have suckier ones during my childhood that I don't remember. Three days before the first day of Chinese New Year (as some of you might have already heard about), I was involved in an automobile accident. A minor one though; it happened in the parking lot and I couldn't see the car creeping adjacently and thus, the crash. I could still drive back to my parent's for two hours, so it's still fine, I just need to fix certain .. external damages, like the mud guard and the front bumper. It dampered my mood for the entire Chinese New Year, not only because it's a horrible omen (no matter how un-superstitious I am) and because I have the tendency to over-blame myself for things that are even remotely my fault. My parents have repeatedly asked me to stop moping over it; but I couldn't help it :<|
Of course, seeing me typing this right now, it means, I'm so totally over it because I need to mope over how I'm back to work so soon, and how my days need to have more than just 24 hours and how I totally replay little things from a 30-minute-video to effectively make it ten times more time-consuming to watch than usual. Now I'm suffering from toothache that I hope could be settled asap, because no matter how excruciating the extraction process is, there's nothing quite like the pain of not being able to eat.
The purpose of this post is actually to do some sort of reflection of the past year:
Last year, I:
♫♪ Changed my job. So. It was really far from what I had ever pictured myself doing and most of the time I get really confused by the software babble and the corporate babble and really miniature details on finance. (just to ninja a semi-rant: I REALLY HATED it when my bitchy male colleague snapped at me when I told him salt is not an alternative to oil as a way to eat a tasteless bowl of congee and he'll be better off with something with fat, because he thought I don't know better. I almost wanted to yell "I sat in the lab analyzing fat content and sat for exams on the food pyramid, dammit) *cough* So aside from the bitchy male colleague (that people have thought to get along with me so well, some even tried suggesting setting us up - to which I countered with equally bitchy moves of refusing to eat lunch alone with him and opting to eat alone, and giving people the "eww" face at people suggesting he's a nice fellow. OF COURSE HE'S NICE, he just has no balls, that's what I'm saying), everything else is fine. I get paid enough to be able to afford my car installments (speaking about my poor car, sobs), save up for trips, etc etc, and I am entitled to benefits, etc etc etc. Job = good. No complains so far.
♫♪ Signed up for gym. Good because it changed my body a lot. Previously I have lived an active lifestyle (especially during uni times) that didn't involve exercising (mostly I jump, run, and skip instead of walk) which slowly degraded into a life that's filled with sitting-and-eating, but now I've made peace with my self-blame for not exercising and causing weight gain. The biggest advantage is that I think there are a lot within me that changed - I don't get sick often, I sleep better, I wake up better, I eat more, less susceptible to illness I was prone to, etc, but personally I'm the proudest at how I rekindled my love for dance that I never really get to materialize in my teenage years. I once had to hide and self-teach because my parents think that anything other than studying wastes time and because my school friends never knew I could (and I didn't bother trying to prove them wrong, since I'm the social outcast of some sort - I wasn't in the "in" crowd due to not being pretty/rich/active enough, but I'm cool enough to talk to because I was nerdy enough). The other advantage was actually me losing weight without intending to (because I eat better now, see), and suddenly whatever woes I had regarding my weight were rendered insignificant. For references, I'm not really fat per se, usually hovering between size 6-8, but it's just that it's frustrating to hate gaining weight and not do something about it. However, my boobs refused to slim down even though my tummy flattened :< No idea why. I love every moment, I can do it forever. Life after working hours = happy.
♫♪ Fell in love with Kame. No explanations needed?
Of course, seeing me typing this right now, it means, I'm so totally over it because I need to mope over how I'm back to work so soon, and how my days need to have more than just 24 hours and how I totally replay little things from a 30-minute-video to effectively make it ten times more time-consuming to watch than usual. Now I'm suffering from toothache that I hope could be settled asap, because no matter how excruciating the extraction process is, there's nothing quite like the pain of not being able to eat.
The purpose of this post is actually to do some sort of reflection of the past year:
Last year, I:
♫♪ Changed my job. So. It was really far from what I had ever pictured myself doing and most of the time I get really confused by the software babble and the corporate babble and really miniature details on finance. (just to ninja a semi-rant: I REALLY HATED it when my bitchy male colleague snapped at me when I told him salt is not an alternative to oil as a way to eat a tasteless bowl of congee and he'll be better off with something with fat, because he thought I don't know better. I almost wanted to yell "I sat in the lab analyzing fat content and sat for exams on the food pyramid, dammit) *cough* So aside from the bitchy male colleague (that people have thought to get along with me so well, some even tried suggesting setting us up - to which I countered with equally bitchy moves of refusing to eat lunch alone with him and opting to eat alone, and giving people the "eww" face at people suggesting he's a nice fellow. OF COURSE HE'S NICE, he just has no balls, that's what I'm saying), everything else is fine. I get paid enough to be able to afford my car installments (speaking about my poor car, sobs), save up for trips, etc etc, and I am entitled to benefits, etc etc etc. Job = good. No complains so far.
♫♪ Signed up for gym. Good because it changed my body a lot. Previously I have lived an active lifestyle (especially during uni times) that didn't involve exercising (mostly I jump, run, and skip instead of walk) which slowly degraded into a life that's filled with sitting-and-eating, but now I've made peace with my self-blame for not exercising and causing weight gain. The biggest advantage is that I think there are a lot within me that changed - I don't get sick often, I sleep better, I wake up better, I eat more, less susceptible to illness I was prone to, etc, but personally I'm the proudest at how I rekindled my love for dance that I never really get to materialize in my teenage years. I once had to hide and self-teach because my parents think that anything other than studying wastes time and because my school friends never knew I could (and I didn't bother trying to prove them wrong, since I'm the social outcast of some sort - I wasn't in the "in" crowd due to not being pretty/rich/active enough, but I'm cool enough to talk to because I was nerdy enough). The other advantage was actually me losing weight without intending to (because I eat better now, see), and suddenly whatever woes I had regarding my weight were rendered insignificant. For references, I'm not really fat per se, usually hovering between size 6-8, but it's just that it's frustrating to hate gaining weight and not do something about it. However, my boobs refused to slim down even though my tummy flattened :< No idea why. I love every moment, I can do it forever. Life after working hours = happy.
♫♪ Fell in love with Kame. No explanations needed?