Skinny Man on Guard

[alien_writings]

Some stuff that might happen in my I Prefer the Mind Control universe. Enjoy!

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Xan keeps smiling at me, and I have the fucking feeling something weird is going on with him. We’re driving in his car, and he won’t say where we’re going. I don’t get it.

Comments

[alien_writings]

Thank you for the comment and concrit. :)

During editing, I'll definitely reduce the description to what's truly appropriate for someone suddenly under attack.

I'm glad you liked the reveal -- I was pretty proud of that particular idea and was hoping it would work on the page as well as in my head. I like my awkwardness and "WTF?" type situations, and I think this one qualifies, lol.

This story/series/whatever-it-ends-up-being is in a sort of "experimental rewrite" stage where I think I'm going to be trying all sorts of things out, but I'm probably going to keep this scene, or some version of it. Because, as far as reveals go, this is a pretty neat one (to me). :)

(I originally started writing this particular part of I Prefer the Mind Control because I wanted to get to a funny conversation between Preston and Dylan that had been in my head for some time, but the story said "stop here on this kinda impactful line." So I did.)

Also, I'm debating having it happen where Dylan has an open relationship with his girlfriend, and it's actually Xan who falls in love with him hardcore. Which puts Dylan in danger. (They shooters may have actually been trying to kill Dylan.) I might try something like that to reduce the "But Not Too Bi" problem, which has sort of been an issue with this verse throughout. What might happen, if it's logical at all, is Dylan has to go to Zimara so he's not killed, thus putting strain on his and his girlfriend's relationship because (very) long distance. And Dylan might be at that point thinking of Xan as more a hot booty call/friend with benefits and so isn't happy about having to leave Earth.

I'm also wrestling with myself over whether a plot line about healthcare-related fuckery is obnoxious or not. So yeah, definitely in the "experimental rewrite" stage, lol.