Camp NaNo: The Church and Its Orbs - Chapter 2

[alien_writings]

I'm rewriting my Gemma story, which is tentatively titled The Church and Its Orbs. This is the second chapter. The previous chapters are linked below.
Prologue | 1

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“Did you hear?” my best friend Lila whispers to me across our table in the cafeteria.

Comments

[theun4givables]

Seds, huh? Does it stand for anything? Like a combination of sexual deviant in some way? lol I'm curious and I wanna knowwww.

I liked this chapter. Gemma's new voice (and less abrasive personality) are starting to grow on me. I wonder if she really is that oblivious to her own attraction to women, though. I like that it's obvious, but not quite that obvious to the reader. I do like the hints towards Kai also being a sed -- his rainbow scarf? C'mon now. But Gemma was looking over at Wren, wasn't she? She noticed so much about her in the last chapter, it was kind of hard to miss. ;)

[alien_writings]

Sed is, in fact, a contraction of sorts of "sexual deviant," so you guessed that one right.

I'm glad I'm getting the "obvious but not too obvious" attraction thing. Subtlety isn't always my strong suit, but subtlety was what I was going for, so I'm happy it seemed to work here. And Gemma was most certainly looking over at Wren, lol. Too bad Wren is (as far as I know) exclusively into guys.

These characters seem somewhat prone to warping, so who knows what will ultimately happen with Gemma and Wren, though? Lila (who went through like a zillion name changes) wasn't supposed to be so openly sexual (for their society, anyway) as she is. I'm like "you're going to make a comment about how 'tasty' guys are? Really?" And Gemma is definitely less abrasive, and I'm not sure how violent she's going to end up being. I might even have to change the Prologue to reflect that. We'll see.

I can't entirely resist obvious things of obviousness, though, hence Kai's rainbow scarf, lol. I hope it's not too anvil-tastic, haha.

[pixiebelle]

Seds. I like the lingo there, it makes it seem more taboo and frowned upon. That was a great way to show that feeling toward them.

I really, really like where you're going with this world and everything you're including. It's such a rich world and I'm jealous.

[alien_writings]

I'm glad you like my story, and I'm glad the made up lingo worked for you. I'm still working out what the slang and such in this world even is. I don't think people in Gemmaland are familiar with the phrase "in the closet," but I don't know. They certainly don't have the rainbow symbolism we do, because Kai is able to wear his scarf without people wondering about it (aside from thinking it's just kind of odd). I couldn't resist the obvious hint, lol.