The Tomorrow Trilogy Fanfiction: On My Own
This is fanfic of The Tomorrow Trilogy by theun4givables.
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They say time heals all wounds. Christ, this “they” couldn’t be more wrong. It totally doesn’t work like that. Not when -- not when you lost the fucking love of your life because he took a bullet to save you. Still think it should have been me who died that day. Especially since I’m gonna die soon, anyway.
It’s this fucking mutation -- got rheumatoid arthritis because of it, and who knows what else it’s gonna give me. What I have is more than enough -- this joint pain’s wearing me down already. Some days, it feels like I can hardly fucking move. Every fucking day, it’s a struggle to get out of bed. Even when the pain’s not that bad, I still feel like shit. Just -- sick.
My doctors haven’t been able to do much -- people know so little about rheumatoid arthritis these days. It’s rare since we started engineering people -- most people, anyway. I got “lucky,” being Natural Born and all. Even my research into the condition hasn’t turned up much. Nothing seems to be fucking working, at least nothing that doesn’t make my mind utterly useless. I still have an Empire to run, after all.
Don’t know how much longer I can run the Empire, though. I’m getting too fucking sick. It wouldn’t be right to keep going at this rate. I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, and even that fucking hurts because I have to bend my fingers to do it. I hiss in pain. Today is an especially bad day, apparently.
I’m just glad Jazz can’t see me like this. I probably look as awful as I feel, and I have a Council meeting I have to get ready for. It’s a good thing I started leaving my ties all pre-tied. Never could tie a fucking tie, and this autoimmune condition has only made things worse. Even with the pre-tied tie, it takes me longer than I’d like to get ready, the joint paint making me move so fucking slowly.
These days, I have to leave a long time to get from my lonely apartment to the Council room. I trudge my way there. At least I get a lot of time to think? This trip, I realize something -- I really can’t run the fucking Empire on my own. Not anymore. I don’t think I could do it even with another co-Emperor. It’s been on my mind for months now, but the pain as I do something as simple as walking drives it home. This is not gonna be a fun meeting today.
I don’t know what the Empire’s gonna do without me. Don’t think anyone was expecting to have to replace their Emperor so fucking soon. Since I’ve been around the Palace, seems like we go through leaders faster than anything. If -- if only Jazz were still here.
When I get to the room, all the members of Council are already there: Alex, Nem, Lily, Kristen and Stormy. They all look too concerned for my comfort, but that’s nothing compared to how they’ll look when I make my announcement.
Alex shoots me a look of censure. “You’re late, Savin,” he mutters.
Slowly, I sit down in my chair. It fucking hurts to do that much, but staying standing would be even worse. I look at Alex. “I’m sorry. It -- took me a while to walk over here.”
It’s just a theory, but I think Alex is still slightly annoyed I wouldn’t even consider dating him. Does he not get Jazz was the love of my life? It’s like he doesn’t know me at all.
Lily sighs and shuffles her papers in front of her. “As you should know, there is continued unrest on far too many of our colonies,” she says.
I know all too well just how bad a job I’m doing keeping the Empire together. My deteriorating health isn’t helping matters at all -- neither is not having Jazz by my side. I sigh and push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, even if that action does cause me pain.
Stormy raises an eyebrow. “Any idea of what to do about it?”
If I had a fucking idea, I would have suggested it already. Christ, I can’t think of anything to help my Empire in the state I’m in. The thought makes my chest tighten -- I was going to announce my resignation at the end of the meeting, but I think I might have to do it now. I simply can’t keep up.
How the hell do I announce something like this, though? My hands start fucking shaking; I fold them in my lap so nobody on the Council can see how nervous I am. Taking a deep breath, I say, “I -- have an announcement.” I guess I better be straight about this, as much as I can.
“What is your announcement?” Kristen asks, looking over at me curiously. “You never mentioned anything to us.”
I’m not in the business of discussing my terrible health with my Council unless I have to -- and now I really have to. I sigh. It’s now or never. “I’m -- I’m announcing my resignation as Emperor,” I say.
All the air is sucked out of the room the moment the words come out of my mouth. My Council stares at me, looks of disbelief on their faces.
“R-resigning? As in you won’t be Emperor anymore? Why?” Nem breathes. He turns to Alex, who’s sitting next to him. “Did you hear that, Alex?”
Alex nods. “I heard -- but surely Savin is joking? We can’t afford to change Emperors right now, not with the way things are going.”
My hands shake even worse at his words. I fucking know that, but I can’t run the Empire like this anymore, either. I say, “I’m -- aware, Alex. But -- I am no longer in good enough health to manage the Empire.”
Kristen looks down at her papers, a worried frown on her face. “You’re planning to resgin because of your health? You never said anything about being sick. Are you -- sure about this, Savin? People are still clamoring for a democratic form of government, and your resignation would only add fuel to the fire,” she murmurs.
My chest tightens as I realize what I have to say next. I take a deep breath, trying desperately to prepare myself. It’s totally not working, but I speak anyway, “I -- I know, Kristen. I should have said something sooner, but I -- didn’t realize that things would get this bad this soon. And, resigning now -- it will make democracy almost inevitable. And I’m -- I’m okay with that.”
Stormy’s jaw drops. “You -- are you serious?” she breathes.
I nod and clasp my hands together under the table. “I am serious. The Empire as it is now is -- untenable in the long run, health issues or no.” As much as it pains me to say that, it’s true. Things simply can’t keep going on as they are. A new Emperor, especially on such a short notice, won’t help anything, either.
Alex raises his eyebrow. “And you trust the idea of a democracy? You’re aware that transitioning won’t be easy -- if we even agree to do it.”
I sigh and try not to show how much pain I’m in. Christ, I want this meeting to be over, and it’s barely started. I say, “I trust the idea more than I trust the Empire to be able to go on as it is without me at the head of it. We simply cannot handle the reported levels of unrest without doing something different.”
Lily nods and looks down at her papers. “I agree with Savin,” she says. “These numbers require a new method of handling the situation, and this is the best solution I can think of.”
Kristen briefly glances at Lily. “I agree as well -- something must be done,” she mutters.
“As absurd as this seems to me, it’s not like I have a better idea,” Stormy says as she crosses her arms over her chest. “But, Savin, you should have said something about being sick sooner.”
I’m aware, Stormy. It’s not so easy to just announce you’re sick or simply might become sick because of a fucking genetic mutation. I’m not sure my Council would have listened to me if I had told them sooner, for one.
“I -- don’t know about this.” Nem fidgets in his chair and looks down at the table.
Alex crosses his arms over his chest. “I think this is a recipe for disaster,” he states flatly.
It’s nice to have your support, Alex.
I know what we have to do next, and the idea makes my stomach clench. I sigh, “It’s -- time to put this to a vote. All in favor of transitioning to a democratic form of government, raise your hands. Anybody opposed, keep your hands down.”
Lily and Kristen raise their hands almost immediately. My stomach twists as I wait for anybody else to raise their hand -- I need a majority of the Council to vote “yes” in order for this to go through. Slowly, Stormy raises her hand as well. I wait just a little bit longer, feeling my chest tighten and my hands shake even worse. Nem actually raises his hand, earning a glare from Alex, who is the only one to keep his hand down.
It doesn’t matter if he does, though -- we have a majority. I say, “That’s enough; you may put your hands down. My proposal passes -- we will transition the Empire to democracy.”
Everyone who voted “yes” puts their hand down. Just doing that one vote utterly exhausts me; I must be even sicker than I thought. I don’t think I can continue with the rest of the meeting -- I’m going to end it early.
Sighing again, I say, “I -- do not feel well enough to continue the meeting at this time. We’ll end early today and discuss the transition at the next meeting.”
As everyone gathers their things and leaves the room, I can only hope I made the correct decision.
When I feel invisible arms embrace me, I know I did the right thing.
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written for 500themes prompt #445 - "The Ravages of Time"
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They say time heals all wounds. Christ, this “they” couldn’t be more wrong. It totally doesn’t work like that. Not when -- not when you lost the fucking love of your life because he took a bullet to save you. Still think it should have been me who died that day. Especially since I’m gonna die soon, anyway.
It’s this fucking mutation -- got rheumatoid arthritis because of it, and who knows what else it’s gonna give me. What I have is more than enough -- this joint pain’s wearing me down already. Some days, it feels like I can hardly fucking move. Every fucking day, it’s a struggle to get out of bed. Even when the pain’s not that bad, I still feel like shit. Just -- sick.
My doctors haven’t been able to do much -- people know so little about rheumatoid arthritis these days. It’s rare since we started engineering people -- most people, anyway. I got “lucky,” being Natural Born and all. Even my research into the condition hasn’t turned up much. Nothing seems to be fucking working, at least nothing that doesn’t make my mind utterly useless. I still have an Empire to run, after all.
Don’t know how much longer I can run the Empire, though. I’m getting too fucking sick. It wouldn’t be right to keep going at this rate. I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, and even that fucking hurts because I have to bend my fingers to do it. I hiss in pain. Today is an especially bad day, apparently.
I’m just glad Jazz can’t see me like this. I probably look as awful as I feel, and I have a Council meeting I have to get ready for. It’s a good thing I started leaving my ties all pre-tied. Never could tie a fucking tie, and this autoimmune condition has only made things worse. Even with the pre-tied tie, it takes me longer than I’d like to get ready, the joint paint making me move so fucking slowly.
These days, I have to leave a long time to get from my lonely apartment to the Council room. I trudge my way there. At least I get a lot of time to think? This trip, I realize something -- I really can’t run the fucking Empire on my own. Not anymore. I don’t think I could do it even with another co-Emperor. It’s been on my mind for months now, but the pain as I do something as simple as walking drives it home. This is not gonna be a fun meeting today.
I don’t know what the Empire’s gonna do without me. Don’t think anyone was expecting to have to replace their Emperor so fucking soon. Since I’ve been around the Palace, seems like we go through leaders faster than anything. If -- if only Jazz were still here.
When I get to the room, all the members of Council are already there: Alex, Nem, Lily, Kristen and Stormy. They all look too concerned for my comfort, but that’s nothing compared to how they’ll look when I make my announcement.
Alex shoots me a look of censure. “You’re late, Savin,” he mutters.
Slowly, I sit down in my chair. It fucking hurts to do that much, but staying standing would be even worse. I look at Alex. “I’m sorry. It -- took me a while to walk over here.”
It’s just a theory, but I think Alex is still slightly annoyed I wouldn’t even consider dating him. Does he not get Jazz was the love of my life? It’s like he doesn’t know me at all.
Lily sighs and shuffles her papers in front of her. “As you should know, there is continued unrest on far too many of our colonies,” she says.
I know all too well just how bad a job I’m doing keeping the Empire together. My deteriorating health isn’t helping matters at all -- neither is not having Jazz by my side. I sigh and push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, even if that action does cause me pain.
Stormy raises an eyebrow. “Any idea of what to do about it?”
If I had a fucking idea, I would have suggested it already. Christ, I can’t think of anything to help my Empire in the state I’m in. The thought makes my chest tighten -- I was going to announce my resignation at the end of the meeting, but I think I might have to do it now. I simply can’t keep up.
How the hell do I announce something like this, though? My hands start fucking shaking; I fold them in my lap so nobody on the Council can see how nervous I am. Taking a deep breath, I say, “I -- have an announcement.” I guess I better be straight about this, as much as I can.
“What is your announcement?” Kristen asks, looking over at me curiously. “You never mentioned anything to us.”
I’m not in the business of discussing my terrible health with my Council unless I have to -- and now I really have to. I sigh. It’s now or never. “I’m -- I’m announcing my resignation as Emperor,” I say.
All the air is sucked out of the room the moment the words come out of my mouth. My Council stares at me, looks of disbelief on their faces.
“R-resigning? As in you won’t be Emperor anymore? Why?” Nem breathes. He turns to Alex, who’s sitting next to him. “Did you hear that, Alex?”
Alex nods. “I heard -- but surely Savin is joking? We can’t afford to change Emperors right now, not with the way things are going.”
My hands shake even worse at his words. I fucking know that, but I can’t run the Empire like this anymore, either. I say, “I’m -- aware, Alex. But -- I am no longer in good enough health to manage the Empire.”
Kristen looks down at her papers, a worried frown on her face. “You’re planning to resgin because of your health? You never said anything about being sick. Are you -- sure about this, Savin? People are still clamoring for a democratic form of government, and your resignation would only add fuel to the fire,” she murmurs.
My chest tightens as I realize what I have to say next. I take a deep breath, trying desperately to prepare myself. It’s totally not working, but I speak anyway, “I -- I know, Kristen. I should have said something sooner, but I -- didn’t realize that things would get this bad this soon. And, resigning now -- it will make democracy almost inevitable. And I’m -- I’m okay with that.”
Stormy’s jaw drops. “You -- are you serious?” she breathes.
I nod and clasp my hands together under the table. “I am serious. The Empire as it is now is -- untenable in the long run, health issues or no.” As much as it pains me to say that, it’s true. Things simply can’t keep going on as they are. A new Emperor, especially on such a short notice, won’t help anything, either.
Alex raises his eyebrow. “And you trust the idea of a democracy? You’re aware that transitioning won’t be easy -- if we even agree to do it.”
I sigh and try not to show how much pain I’m in. Christ, I want this meeting to be over, and it’s barely started. I say, “I trust the idea more than I trust the Empire to be able to go on as it is without me at the head of it. We simply cannot handle the reported levels of unrest without doing something different.”
Lily nods and looks down at her papers. “I agree with Savin,” she says. “These numbers require a new method of handling the situation, and this is the best solution I can think of.”
Kristen briefly glances at Lily. “I agree as well -- something must be done,” she mutters.
“As absurd as this seems to me, it’s not like I have a better idea,” Stormy says as she crosses her arms over her chest. “But, Savin, you should have said something about being sick sooner.”
I’m aware, Stormy. It’s not so easy to just announce you’re sick or simply might become sick because of a fucking genetic mutation. I’m not sure my Council would have listened to me if I had told them sooner, for one.
“I -- don’t know about this.” Nem fidgets in his chair and looks down at the table.
Alex crosses his arms over his chest. “I think this is a recipe for disaster,” he states flatly.
It’s nice to have your support, Alex.
I know what we have to do next, and the idea makes my stomach clench. I sigh, “It’s -- time to put this to a vote. All in favor of transitioning to a democratic form of government, raise your hands. Anybody opposed, keep your hands down.”
Lily and Kristen raise their hands almost immediately. My stomach twists as I wait for anybody else to raise their hand -- I need a majority of the Council to vote “yes” in order for this to go through. Slowly, Stormy raises her hand as well. I wait just a little bit longer, feeling my chest tighten and my hands shake even worse. Nem actually raises his hand, earning a glare from Alex, who is the only one to keep his hand down.
It doesn’t matter if he does, though -- we have a majority. I say, “That’s enough; you may put your hands down. My proposal passes -- we will transition the Empire to democracy.”
Everyone who voted “yes” puts their hand down. Just doing that one vote utterly exhausts me; I must be even sicker than I thought. I don’t think I can continue with the rest of the meeting -- I’m going to end it early.
Sighing again, I say, “I -- do not feel well enough to continue the meeting at this time. We’ll end early today and discuss the transition at the next meeting.”
As everyone gathers their things and leaves the room, I can only hope I made the correct decision.
When I feel invisible arms embrace me, I know I did the right thing.
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written for 500themes prompt #445 - "The Ravages of Time"