False Impression
This is Part Twenty Nine in The Meeting of Breccan & Finbar.
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After Alex’s shift tending bar was over, Alex, Nem, Nico and I exited the bar, to go to our new hosts’ home. My stomach twisted; the whole arrangement made me uncomfortable, though it wasn’t that much different than staying with Maris.
“So, do you two mind sharing a room?” Nem asked.
I said, “Honestly, we’re just glad of a place to stay. I wouldn’t mind taking a couch, if I had to.”
Nico and I hardly had the right to impose ourselves on our hosts, so I wasn’t going to go about demanding an entire room for myself. Besides, I would rather share with Nico, anyway.
“You’re forgetting something,” Alex muttered. “We don’t have a spare room.”
Nem’s face brightened. “If I move into your room, we’ll have a spare!”
Alex said, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Nem gave Alex a funny look. “It’s not like we aren’t already sharing other things.”
The other man sighed. “As a temporary arrangement, fine.”
Nem leapt several feet into the air at Alex’s acquiescence. I felt even worse because of the extra inconvenience. We walked along the narrow, rundown streets. The neighborhood didn’t seem safe, but Nem and Alex appeared friendly enough. An affable exterior didn’t necessarily mean much, though. I understood that, but we needed shelter.
We arrived at a row of houses that appeared to stand alone, with tiny, scrubby yards in front of them. I hadn’t noticed the change too much, but I also had been too nervous to pay much attention as I followed Alex and Nem. This part of the neighborhood seemed a bit safer than the part we had just left, though it was hard to tell in the light of the setting sun.
“We’re here!” Nem said.
It was a little brick house that looked like any of the other little houses. The yard was as brown and scrubby as anybody else’s yard. We walked inside. The interior looked like a cheaper version of what Maris had, with dark wood and purple cloth, though the cloth this time was faded and visibly ripped in places.
Nem smiled at me and Nico. “Let me show you to your room.”
We followed him to a small room with a single low bed covered in faded purple sheets.
“It’s not much,” Nem mumbled.
I said, “It’s shelter, and that’s what matters. Thank you for letting us stay here.”
“No need to thank me. I’m happy to have people like you stay,” he breathed.
I shifted on my feet; Nem was vastly mistaken about “people like me.”
Nico inclined his head slightly towards Nem. “Still, thank you.”
Nem’s eyes widened just a little as he nodded back. “I’ll -- I’ll let you get settled.”
I knew I ought to change into my sleeping clothes, but I was too mentally exhausted to even do that much. Sighing, I flopped onto the bed. Nico got onto the bed beside me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Don’t be,” I said. “Remember, I chose to come with you.”
“That’s still difficult to believe,” he murmured.
While we were talking, Nico’s outfit shimmered and changed into something that looked much more like sleeping clothes, though it was still gold and white and definitely not human.
“You’re not going to change into something more comfortable?” Nico asked.
“I’m too tired to even think right now,” I said. I shivered as I remembered the shadow monster and how close that encounter had been. “I -- shouldn’t have been able to save you.”
Nico smiled at me. “It was rather implausible, but that doesn’t mean it was somehow wrong.”
“But it was wrong,” I protested. “I am not strong, or fearless or brave. What I did makes no sense. Why would a shadow monster decide it feared a man who’s not even skilled in fighting, let alone any kind of mage?”
Nico’s eyes hardened slightly in the dim light. “It doesn’t matter how, Breccan. You still did it, and for that I’ll be ever grateful. Don’t trivialize what you did.”
I said, “I’m not, honestly. I’m just -- stunned, and afraid.”
I was afraid of myself, for what I had done. It was like someone else had taken over my body. Something like that simply wasn’t in my character, and the idea that I was becoming someone else scared me, even if I didn’t much like who I was.
“Afraid?” Nico asked.
“I’m not even sure,” I muttered. “But now -- now Nem and Alex think I’m someone I’m not. And when I took on that shadow creature, I was someone else. I don’t -- don’t want them thinking more of me than I deserve. It was one act, yet it was their first impression of me so now they’re going to think I’m some kind of hero. I hate it.”
“It was heroic,” he said.
My eyes stung. “I know. But I’m not heroic. I don’t want people judging me by something that’s -- that’s not how I normally am.”
Nico pulled me into his arms. “That really bothers you so much, to be known for one supposedly uncharacteristic act?”
“It does.”
He murmured, “I’m not sure it’s so uncharacteristic.”
Now, that made absolutely no sense. I asked, “What on Earth do you mean?”
“Maybe you’ve simply never had sufficient cause to be so heroic in the past,” he said.
I sighed. “There were opportunities I passed up, due to fear and hesitancy.”
“I mean sufficient cause. You cared enough about me to overcome your fear, and I’m sure you would do it a second time.”
I said, “I hope I would, but I hope even more you’re never in such danger again.”
Nico shifted on the bed. “I shouldn’t be, but these monsters are something else entirely. They’re resistant to godly power.”
“I know. But what can we do?” I asked.
He muttered, “We have to find some way to stop them. The Gods Council will be no help. They’re likely to pretend everything’s fine, even if they were attacked.”
“Maris and the others are working on it,” I said.
Nico murmured, “They are, but I -- I don’t want to do nothing. I want to -- make up for what I did, what I am. Even if none of my fellows want to help, I do.”
I sighed, “I want to to help, too. I don’t know how I can, though. I’m not like Maris or any of them. I’m simply me.”
“We’ll find a way,” Nico said.
I truly wanted to help, despite my general cowardice and lack of actual heroism. The shadow monsters were a kind of evil I had never seen or experienced before, and I knew them to be a danger on a scale the world hadn’t seen in centuries, if not longer. We couldn’t just let them destroy everything, but how could I help with my utter lack of power or useful skills? Even if I had nothing to offer, that wasn’t enough of an excuse not to try and do something.
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written for 500themes prompt #98 - "Eternal Danger"
next chapter
previous chapter
---------
After Alex’s shift tending bar was over, Alex, Nem, Nico and I exited the bar, to go to our new hosts’ home. My stomach twisted; the whole arrangement made me uncomfortable, though it wasn’t that much different than staying with Maris.
“So, do you two mind sharing a room?” Nem asked.
I said, “Honestly, we’re just glad of a place to stay. I wouldn’t mind taking a couch, if I had to.”
Nico and I hardly had the right to impose ourselves on our hosts, so I wasn’t going to go about demanding an entire room for myself. Besides, I would rather share with Nico, anyway.
“You’re forgetting something,” Alex muttered. “We don’t have a spare room.”
Nem’s face brightened. “If I move into your room, we’ll have a spare!”
Alex said, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Nem gave Alex a funny look. “It’s not like we aren’t already sharing other things.”
The other man sighed. “As a temporary arrangement, fine.”
Nem leapt several feet into the air at Alex’s acquiescence. I felt even worse because of the extra inconvenience. We walked along the narrow, rundown streets. The neighborhood didn’t seem safe, but Nem and Alex appeared friendly enough. An affable exterior didn’t necessarily mean much, though. I understood that, but we needed shelter.
We arrived at a row of houses that appeared to stand alone, with tiny, scrubby yards in front of them. I hadn’t noticed the change too much, but I also had been too nervous to pay much attention as I followed Alex and Nem. This part of the neighborhood seemed a bit safer than the part we had just left, though it was hard to tell in the light of the setting sun.
“We’re here!” Nem said.
It was a little brick house that looked like any of the other little houses. The yard was as brown and scrubby as anybody else’s yard. We walked inside. The interior looked like a cheaper version of what Maris had, with dark wood and purple cloth, though the cloth this time was faded and visibly ripped in places.
Nem smiled at me and Nico. “Let me show you to your room.”
We followed him to a small room with a single low bed covered in faded purple sheets.
“It’s not much,” Nem mumbled.
I said, “It’s shelter, and that’s what matters. Thank you for letting us stay here.”
“No need to thank me. I’m happy to have people like you stay,” he breathed.
I shifted on my feet; Nem was vastly mistaken about “people like me.”
Nico inclined his head slightly towards Nem. “Still, thank you.”
Nem’s eyes widened just a little as he nodded back. “I’ll -- I’ll let you get settled.”
I knew I ought to change into my sleeping clothes, but I was too mentally exhausted to even do that much. Sighing, I flopped onto the bed. Nico got onto the bed beside me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Don’t be,” I said. “Remember, I chose to come with you.”
“That’s still difficult to believe,” he murmured.
While we were talking, Nico’s outfit shimmered and changed into something that looked much more like sleeping clothes, though it was still gold and white and definitely not human.
“You’re not going to change into something more comfortable?” Nico asked.
“I’m too tired to even think right now,” I said. I shivered as I remembered the shadow monster and how close that encounter had been. “I -- shouldn’t have been able to save you.”
Nico smiled at me. “It was rather implausible, but that doesn’t mean it was somehow wrong.”
“But it was wrong,” I protested. “I am not strong, or fearless or brave. What I did makes no sense. Why would a shadow monster decide it feared a man who’s not even skilled in fighting, let alone any kind of mage?”
Nico’s eyes hardened slightly in the dim light. “It doesn’t matter how, Breccan. You still did it, and for that I’ll be ever grateful. Don’t trivialize what you did.”
I said, “I’m not, honestly. I’m just -- stunned, and afraid.”
I was afraid of myself, for what I had done. It was like someone else had taken over my body. Something like that simply wasn’t in my character, and the idea that I was becoming someone else scared me, even if I didn’t much like who I was.
“Afraid?” Nico asked.
“I’m not even sure,” I muttered. “But now -- now Nem and Alex think I’m someone I’m not. And when I took on that shadow creature, I was someone else. I don’t -- don’t want them thinking more of me than I deserve. It was one act, yet it was their first impression of me so now they’re going to think I’m some kind of hero. I hate it.”
“It was heroic,” he said.
My eyes stung. “I know. But I’m not heroic. I don’t want people judging me by something that’s -- that’s not how I normally am.”
Nico pulled me into his arms. “That really bothers you so much, to be known for one supposedly uncharacteristic act?”
“It does.”
He murmured, “I’m not sure it’s so uncharacteristic.”
Now, that made absolutely no sense. I asked, “What on Earth do you mean?”
“Maybe you’ve simply never had sufficient cause to be so heroic in the past,” he said.
I sighed. “There were opportunities I passed up, due to fear and hesitancy.”
“I mean sufficient cause. You cared enough about me to overcome your fear, and I’m sure you would do it a second time.”
I said, “I hope I would, but I hope even more you’re never in such danger again.”
Nico shifted on the bed. “I shouldn’t be, but these monsters are something else entirely. They’re resistant to godly power.”
“I know. But what can we do?” I asked.
He muttered, “We have to find some way to stop them. The Gods Council will be no help. They’re likely to pretend everything’s fine, even if they were attacked.”
“Maris and the others are working on it,” I said.
Nico murmured, “They are, but I -- I don’t want to do nothing. I want to -- make up for what I did, what I am. Even if none of my fellows want to help, I do.”
I sighed, “I want to to help, too. I don’t know how I can, though. I’m not like Maris or any of them. I’m simply me.”
“We’ll find a way,” Nico said.
I truly wanted to help, despite my general cowardice and lack of actual heroism. The shadow monsters were a kind of evil I had never seen or experienced before, and I knew them to be a danger on a scale the world hadn’t seen in centuries, if not longer. We couldn’t just let them destroy everything, but how could I help with my utter lack of power or useful skills? Even if I had nothing to offer, that wasn’t enough of an excuse not to try and do something.
---------
written for 500themes prompt #98 - "Eternal Danger"
next chapter