Egan's Wonderful Life
This is fanfiction for my The Meeting of Breccan & Finbar universe. Trigger warning for mentions of rape.
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My head pounds, and I shiver at the impossible sensation. I'm a god; I'm not supposed to feel pain. Yet, that is what I'm feeling, actual pain like a mortal would. What is going on? This is outrageous.
I stand up. “I want an explanation,” I shout.
“I suppose you're entitled to one,” a voice mutters.
I know that voice. It's Nico, the god with an abominable lack of pride in his own divinity. What is he doing here?
I turn towards Nico. “Where are we? Just what is going on?”
He says, “This is part of the afterlife for gods who somehow manage to die. It's a limbo of sorts.”
Die? Nico must be suffering from yet another delusion, like the one where he actually convinced himself he was mortal.
“Afterlife? I cannot possibly be dead. I'm a god,” I insist.
Nico shakes his head. “Egan, you know as well as I do that gods can die. You managed to screw up enough that you died.”
While I do realize gods can die, I refuse to believe it. I'm above such weakness. “But not me. What could possibly kill me?”
He laughs. It sounds strangely sad, though I'm sure he's not sad over me. He says, “That would be me. I killed you.”
My eyes widen. I stare at him, and my stomach sinks. “You killed me? I know you're utterly mad, but what did I do to you that you would be so foolish?”
Nico sighs. “You behaved towards Breccan much like I did towards Isabel. I - got angry at you for forcing yourself on him, and I killed you.”
“You killed me over that?” I can't believe it. Well, Nico is delusional enough to suddenly decide such a thing is wrong and worth killing over.
“It was a justifiable murder, in my opinion. But that's not important. I have something to show you,” Nico says.
I scoff, “Justifiable? I think not.”
“Of course you wouldn't. Now, we must to get down to business. You need to see what would happen if you had never existed,” he mutters.
“Excuse me?” What purpose would that serve?
He answers, “It's standard procedure when gods die. You may experience some disorientation when we travel. I suggest you close you eyes.”
The world lurches about me, and I think I might be sick, though gods aren't able to get sick.
* * *
When everything settles, Nico and I are floating in midair. I look down and my stomach flips; I don't like floating in this manner.
Nico says, “I'm sorry. I probably should have brought something along for you to vomit into.”
I glare at him. He smirks, and I wish he wouldn't be so smug. That's when I noticed the familiar neighborhood we float above. This is where Maris has her magical house. Judging by the nearby trees and flowers, it's somewhere during midsummer.
I wonder why we're here when I see two men walking to the door of one of the houses. I can't tell much else about them from this distance. Nico seems to recognize this, as we zoom towards the men. I see how the taller one wears a purple cloak over his head despite the warm weather. That has to be Finbar; who else would cover himself during midsummer? He's hiding the shadows that crawl upon his skin. My heart, which doesn't even need to beat, still stops when my eyes fall on the shorter man. I would recognize that dark red hair anywhere: it's Breccan.
My stomach drops when I see how Breccan and Finbar are holding hands. Breccan fiddles with the key to the house but not before turning to Finbar and planting a kiss on his lips. I can feel their love; it's as obvious as anything.
“That's right,” Nico murmurs. “Without your interference, Breccan and Finbar were able to stay together and develop a real, lasting love for one another. While I would love to say all would be well without your existence, I can't.”
“Do explain,” I mutter. I don't want to see any more of this.
“Very well,” he says.
This time, I'm slightly more prepared for the transition, but it still unsettles me.
* * *
My discomfort at traveling is nothing compared to what I feel when we arrive at our new destination and I scan the scene before me. It makes no sense It's still Maris' city, the People's Purple Haven. We're in the same neighborhood, but it's all wrong.
Shadows like Finbar's crawl over everything. The trees and flowers - all of them are dead, crumbling and lifeless. The bricks of the houses fall apart seemingly as I watch. There aren't any people that I can see.
There are bodies.
Breccan and Finbar lie slumped against the door to Maris' house, arms around each other. Dead. They're dead.
Nico sighs. “Because you never existed to bother Breccan and Finbar, Maris never summoned me. I couldn't kill someone who didn't exist, anyway. Maris, Breccan, Finbar and I never went before the Gods Council for murder like I did in the true reality. While we were there, Breccan and Maris stopped the first God Eater attack on actual deities. It was a weak attack as far as God Eaters go, but repelling it was the only thing that stopped the God Eaters from destroying the Gods Council and thus, eventually, the world.”
“Are you saying my existence was necessary for keeping the world from being destroyed?” My mood can't help but brighten at that.
He looks so unhappy. “Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. As much as it disgusts me to say this, you, Egan, indirectly saved the world. Without you, by the autumnal equinox, everything would be dead. I suppose even evil like you is necessary for everything to function, sadly.”
“So, what happens now?” I ask.
Nico says, “I don't know what happens to gods who die. I think you just cease to exist.”
I feel my body begin to disintegrate. The sensation horrifies me, but then I remember: I saved the world. My last thought before I cease to exist is of how important I was.
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written for writerverse Challenge #08 - "It's a Wonderful Life"
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My head pounds, and I shiver at the impossible sensation. I'm a god; I'm not supposed to feel pain. Yet, that is what I'm feeling, actual pain like a mortal would. What is going on? This is outrageous.
I stand up. “I want an explanation,” I shout.
“I suppose you're entitled to one,” a voice mutters.
I know that voice. It's Nico, the god with an abominable lack of pride in his own divinity. What is he doing here?
I turn towards Nico. “Where are we? Just what is going on?”
He says, “This is part of the afterlife for gods who somehow manage to die. It's a limbo of sorts.”
Die? Nico must be suffering from yet another delusion, like the one where he actually convinced himself he was mortal.
“Afterlife? I cannot possibly be dead. I'm a god,” I insist.
Nico shakes his head. “Egan, you know as well as I do that gods can die. You managed to screw up enough that you died.”
While I do realize gods can die, I refuse to believe it. I'm above such weakness. “But not me. What could possibly kill me?”
He laughs. It sounds strangely sad, though I'm sure he's not sad over me. He says, “That would be me. I killed you.”
My eyes widen. I stare at him, and my stomach sinks. “You killed me? I know you're utterly mad, but what did I do to you that you would be so foolish?”
Nico sighs. “You behaved towards Breccan much like I did towards Isabel. I - got angry at you for forcing yourself on him, and I killed you.”
“You killed me over that?” I can't believe it. Well, Nico is delusional enough to suddenly decide such a thing is wrong and worth killing over.
“It was a justifiable murder, in my opinion. But that's not important. I have something to show you,” Nico says.
I scoff, “Justifiable? I think not.”
“Of course you wouldn't. Now, we must to get down to business. You need to see what would happen if you had never existed,” he mutters.
“Excuse me?” What purpose would that serve?
He answers, “It's standard procedure when gods die. You may experience some disorientation when we travel. I suggest you close you eyes.”
The world lurches about me, and I think I might be sick, though gods aren't able to get sick.
* * *
When everything settles, Nico and I are floating in midair. I look down and my stomach flips; I don't like floating in this manner.
Nico says, “I'm sorry. I probably should have brought something along for you to vomit into.”
I glare at him. He smirks, and I wish he wouldn't be so smug. That's when I noticed the familiar neighborhood we float above. This is where Maris has her magical house. Judging by the nearby trees and flowers, it's somewhere during midsummer.
I wonder why we're here when I see two men walking to the door of one of the houses. I can't tell much else about them from this distance. Nico seems to recognize this, as we zoom towards the men. I see how the taller one wears a purple cloak over his head despite the warm weather. That has to be Finbar; who else would cover himself during midsummer? He's hiding the shadows that crawl upon his skin. My heart, which doesn't even need to beat, still stops when my eyes fall on the shorter man. I would recognize that dark red hair anywhere: it's Breccan.
My stomach drops when I see how Breccan and Finbar are holding hands. Breccan fiddles with the key to the house but not before turning to Finbar and planting a kiss on his lips. I can feel their love; it's as obvious as anything.
“That's right,” Nico murmurs. “Without your interference, Breccan and Finbar were able to stay together and develop a real, lasting love for one another. While I would love to say all would be well without your existence, I can't.”
“Do explain,” I mutter. I don't want to see any more of this.
“Very well,” he says.
This time, I'm slightly more prepared for the transition, but it still unsettles me.
* * *
My discomfort at traveling is nothing compared to what I feel when we arrive at our new destination and I scan the scene before me. It makes no sense It's still Maris' city, the People's Purple Haven. We're in the same neighborhood, but it's all wrong.
Shadows like Finbar's crawl over everything. The trees and flowers - all of them are dead, crumbling and lifeless. The bricks of the houses fall apart seemingly as I watch. There aren't any people that I can see.
There are bodies.
Breccan and Finbar lie slumped against the door to Maris' house, arms around each other. Dead. They're dead.
Nico sighs. “Because you never existed to bother Breccan and Finbar, Maris never summoned me. I couldn't kill someone who didn't exist, anyway. Maris, Breccan, Finbar and I never went before the Gods Council for murder like I did in the true reality. While we were there, Breccan and Maris stopped the first God Eater attack on actual deities. It was a weak attack as far as God Eaters go, but repelling it was the only thing that stopped the God Eaters from destroying the Gods Council and thus, eventually, the world.”
“Are you saying my existence was necessary for keeping the world from being destroyed?” My mood can't help but brighten at that.
He looks so unhappy. “Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. As much as it disgusts me to say this, you, Egan, indirectly saved the world. Without you, by the autumnal equinox, everything would be dead. I suppose even evil like you is necessary for everything to function, sadly.”
“So, what happens now?” I ask.
Nico says, “I don't know what happens to gods who die. I think you just cease to exist.”
I feel my body begin to disintegrate. The sensation horrifies me, but then I remember: I saved the world. My last thought before I cease to exist is of how important I was.
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written for writerverse Challenge #08 - "It's a Wonderful Life"