The Tomorrow Series Fanfiction: Who Will Lead Us? - Chapter 4

[alien_writings]

This is the third chapter in a fanfiction of The Tomorrow Series by theun4givables.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

---------Savin pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he stood in front of the Council room door. He knew he should go inside, but he didn't want to. Dealing with Mitchel felt like too much. He sighed, realizing it could be up to him to

Comments

[theun4givables]

I love love love this fic.

I love making things harder on my characters and almost want to do this storyline myself but it's getting done so wonderfully here that this is enough. lol.

Mitchel? An outright bastard in this and it's perfectly in character. I know how hard it is to get the dialogue to sound like the characters -- and my usual trick of "If you can't hear their voice saying this as they say it it's not right" doesn't work on characters whom don't have a voice like they do on TV or in a movie or whatever. They all have clear inflections in my head, though -- and their dialogue here sounds right, to me. ;)

Mari's last line to Danni? I love it. It shows just how fucked up the world is at this point once those laws are in place. And poor Savin -- he's going to have one hell of a hard time recovering from that. He really will.

Can't wait to see moooooooore

[alien_writings]

Considering you taste for making things hard on your characters, I didn't really know it was possible to make your story seem almost...happy in comparison until I started writing my version.

When doing the Mitchel lines, I definitely "heard" his voice. He has the voice of an asshole, haha.

Thanks for suggesting Mari's last line. I wanted her to say something, and that was the kind of thing she would say, isn't it?

Savin? Yeahhhh, he's gonna be fucked up from seeing that, no matter how much scary shit he's seen in the trauma unit and stuff.

[n3m3sis43]

Wow, dude. That went downhill fast. I loved that Jazz's decision to run is what caused the laws to be put back into effect. Although I have to wonder if Mitchel wouldnt have found a way to get that to happen pretty quickly regardless.

It sucks that Mari and Danni died, and Savin had to watch them. Ouch. Interesting that in this fic, he does still seem to have feelings for Mari, even though his feelings for Jazz are stronger. It does fit with that one story in the canon where he still cared about her somewhat even though he was pushing her for information about what Jordine had done with Jazz. Although I'm not sure if that's still canon now, haha.

[alien_writings]

Mitchel would most certainly have found a way to push the laws through anyway. This way, though, Savin can blame Jazz for Mari's and Danni's dying, and there can be TEH DRAMAZ. It's theun4givables's world; drama must happen, and I apparently must make things even WORSE for everybody than they would be in canon!

Savin does care about his family, but he doesn't care about Mari in any kind of romantic or "in love" sort of way. I think, as theun4givables said, it's a "brotherly" sort of affection. That's...not the kind of affection to base a marriage on especially not when you have obvious feelings for someone else. Oops, Savin.