Fucking Intoxicating
An alternate, NSFW, take on n3m3sis43's Pretty Buttons. Trigger warning for dubcon.
---------
I was fucking made for this. That's what I think as Calla leads me and Brendan down to the basement where we'll be doing the fucking deprogramming. Should be a piece of cake. We get there. Calla's fucking lecturing me about the red emergency button now. Says I can push it at any fucking time if I want to stop. Like I didn't design that button in the first place. And I won't fucking need it. No fucking way.
She closes the fucking door. My throat closes up. Not fucking happening. I'm calm. Will stay fucking calm. Gotta stay that way. Need fucking air. Something's wrong with the ventilation in here. Doesn't help that my legs are shaking so bad I can't even stand. Brendan can't see me freak out. Won't let that fucking happen. I'm not freaking out.
He's just fucking staring at me. Watching. Not even blinking. Creepy. I see a table. Slam my fucking hands down onto it to steady myself. Feel my palms sting. Fucking grounding, the pain. Brendan keeps watching. Still hasn't fucking blinked, not once. And I'm trapped in here with with him. Want my freedom. No, I tell myself. Can't fucking think that way.
Wish he would stop fucking staring. Wonder if Brendan can smell fear, like some kinda animal. Not that I'm scared or anything. Why would I be fucking scared? All I gotta do is push the pretty buttons. I was fucking meant for this. Gonna be easy. If only I could breathe. Breathing - fucking essential.
Need to pull my eyes away from that red button. Wrong fucking button. Need to push Brendan's buttons. Not a problem. But he keeps staring at me. My face is fucking wet. Why is my face fucking wet? Cross my arms over my chest. Dig my nails into my arms. Need to fucking keep it together.
Not fucking shaking again. No reason for that shit. Wish breathing were easier. See a chair. Fucking fall into it. Brendan's still fucking looking at me. Like he's - concerned? The fuck? White light flashes behind my eyes. He's - he's fucking feeling sorry for me. How fucking dare he!
Can't let him get away with that. Still can't fucking speak. Glare at him. Fucking great at glaring. Gotta get my voice back. Shake my head. Need to take deep breaths. Close my eyes. Can fucking do this. Gotta fucking do this. I was made for this.
Don't know how long it is until I fucking recover.
Manage to stand up. “Feeling sorry for me, are you?” There. Words fucking come. “You disgusting fucker.”
That's fucking it. He looks like he's been slapped. Can fucking do this. Will be all too easy.
“How dare you pity me! You're the one who's not even a fucking person,” I growl.
Brendan's silent. Fucking twitches, though. Yeah, I was fucking made for this.
“Say, is there anything in that useless sack you call your skull? Would say you have all the brains of a troglodyte, thought that's a fucking insult to troglodytes.” Keep glaring at him.
He's still fucking silent, but I can feel his rage. Want more. Not fucking enough. Nowhere close to enough.
Know exactly what to fucking say. “Have you ever wondered why Kalen -”
Don't even have to finish that sentence to feel the anger wash over me. Fucking intoxicating. I shiver. Not from fear. No longer fucking scared. Nothing like scared. Yeah, I was so fucking made for this. Just gotta push those pretty buttons. Easy as fucking pie.
Bite back a moan. Almost don't fucking want to. “Ever wondered why he would trust me with his plans all those years and not you? But why would Kalen ever fucking trust you? You've always been fucking broken, haven't you? Not even a person at all.”
The fucking rage. Just the fucking rage. Want more. Fucking need more. I get up off the chair. Crawl on my hands and knees towards Brendan. He backs away. Towards the wall. He's not gonna fucking escape from me.
Crawl up right next to him. Whisper in his ear, “Gotta admit something. Watching you squirm? Making me hot, dude. All this fucking power.”
Breathing's short and ragged now. I'm fucking hard, too.
“You gonna do something about this?” I taunt. Trace my tongue down his neck. Feel the fucking rage come in waves. “Gonna fucking stop me? Or, what, do you like this, too?”
The fucking noise coming out of him? Primal. Not even fucking human. In fucking seconds, I'm flat on my back. With him on top of me.
“Oh, wanna take me like that, huh?” I say.
He fucking growls. Think he might strangle me. Instead, Brendan fucking kisses me. Bites down on my lip so hard I think I might be bleeding. My heart hammers. Getting fucking high off this. It's fucking intoxicating.
Breaks the kiss and hisses, “Don't ask a question unless you want the answer.”
So hard it hurts right now. Can feel his anger, still coming in waves. So close to the source, it's a fucking drug. Better than any fucking drug, knowing how much he wants to hurt me.
Brendan pins one of my arms to the fucking ground. Rips off his pants in no time at all with the other. See how he's just as fucking excited as I am. Think he's gonna leave fucking bruises with how hard he's grabbing me. Fucking hurts. But doesn't hurt enough. Want more. Need more.
He takes my pants off a second later. Fucking exposes me. Don't think he wants to waste his fucking time.
“You gonna do it? Can you even fucking keep it up?” I taunt. Want Brendan good and pissed off. Want him to hurt me. Want to feel that fucking pain for real.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he growls.
Pulls my fucking legs apart. Slams into me before I can even fucking cry out.
Fuck, that hurts. I let out a moan as he pounds me. Brendan pushes my legs back, bends me fucking in half. Keeps fucking slamming me. No mercy. Don't want any fucking mercy.
“That all you got?” I gasp out.
Answers by pounding me even harder. So hard I'm pushed backwards. My head hits the fucking wall. I cry out in pain. Want fucking more.
“Weak, dude,” I manage. Hard to fucking talk.
Brendan makes a noise nowhere fucking near human. Pure fucking rage. Need more of that. He pounds me even harder. Didn't know it was possible to do that. Keeps pounding me like that. Now I'm the one making noises that aren't fucking human.
Feel myself getting close, bathed in the pain and the rage. Grab my dick. Starting stroking myself. That ache's driving me fucking crazy. So fucking close now as Brendan slams me.
So fucking close I can feel it. Can't speak at all. Just gasp and moan, my eyes halfway fucking closed. Think it's gonna be real fucking soon now.
Fucking explosion of white line behind my eyes when I come. Haven't come that hard in forever. My whole body shakes with the fucking force of it. Brendan comes just a few seconds later. Slips out of me soon after that.
And - the fuck did I do? Reality fucking hits me in the face. Feel my stomach drop a million fucking feet. Can't look at Brendan as I scramble for my boxers and pants. Don't think I'll be able to look anyone in the eye for a long fucking time.
---------
written for 500themes prompt #429 - "I'll Try Violence"
---------
I was fucking made for this. That's what I think as Calla leads me and Brendan down to the basement where we'll be doing the fucking deprogramming. Should be a piece of cake. We get there. Calla's fucking lecturing me about the red emergency button now. Says I can push it at any fucking time if I want to stop. Like I didn't design that button in the first place. And I won't fucking need it. No fucking way.
She closes the fucking door. My throat closes up. Not fucking happening. I'm calm. Will stay fucking calm. Gotta stay that way. Need fucking air. Something's wrong with the ventilation in here. Doesn't help that my legs are shaking so bad I can't even stand. Brendan can't see me freak out. Won't let that fucking happen. I'm not freaking out.
He's just fucking staring at me. Watching. Not even blinking. Creepy. I see a table. Slam my fucking hands down onto it to steady myself. Feel my palms sting. Fucking grounding, the pain. Brendan keeps watching. Still hasn't fucking blinked, not once. And I'm trapped in here with with him. Want my freedom. No, I tell myself. Can't fucking think that way.
Wish he would stop fucking staring. Wonder if Brendan can smell fear, like some kinda animal. Not that I'm scared or anything. Why would I be fucking scared? All I gotta do is push the pretty buttons. I was fucking meant for this. Gonna be easy. If only I could breathe. Breathing - fucking essential.
Need to pull my eyes away from that red button. Wrong fucking button. Need to push Brendan's buttons. Not a problem. But he keeps staring at me. My face is fucking wet. Why is my face fucking wet? Cross my arms over my chest. Dig my nails into my arms. Need to fucking keep it together.
Not fucking shaking again. No reason for that shit. Wish breathing were easier. See a chair. Fucking fall into it. Brendan's still fucking looking at me. Like he's - concerned? The fuck? White light flashes behind my eyes. He's - he's fucking feeling sorry for me. How fucking dare he!
Can't let him get away with that. Still can't fucking speak. Glare at him. Fucking great at glaring. Gotta get my voice back. Shake my head. Need to take deep breaths. Close my eyes. Can fucking do this. Gotta fucking do this. I was made for this.
Don't know how long it is until I fucking recover.
Manage to stand up. “Feeling sorry for me, are you?” There. Words fucking come. “You disgusting fucker.”
That's fucking it. He looks like he's been slapped. Can fucking do this. Will be all too easy.
“How dare you pity me! You're the one who's not even a fucking person,” I growl.
Brendan's silent. Fucking twitches, though. Yeah, I was fucking made for this.
“Say, is there anything in that useless sack you call your skull? Would say you have all the brains of a troglodyte, thought that's a fucking insult to troglodytes.” Keep glaring at him.
He's still fucking silent, but I can feel his rage. Want more. Not fucking enough. Nowhere close to enough.
Know exactly what to fucking say. “Have you ever wondered why Kalen -”
Don't even have to finish that sentence to feel the anger wash over me. Fucking intoxicating. I shiver. Not from fear. No longer fucking scared. Nothing like scared. Yeah, I was so fucking made for this. Just gotta push those pretty buttons. Easy as fucking pie.
Bite back a moan. Almost don't fucking want to. “Ever wondered why he would trust me with his plans all those years and not you? But why would Kalen ever fucking trust you? You've always been fucking broken, haven't you? Not even a person at all.”
The fucking rage. Just the fucking rage. Want more. Fucking need more. I get up off the chair. Crawl on my hands and knees towards Brendan. He backs away. Towards the wall. He's not gonna fucking escape from me.
Crawl up right next to him. Whisper in his ear, “Gotta admit something. Watching you squirm? Making me hot, dude. All this fucking power.”
Breathing's short and ragged now. I'm fucking hard, too.
“You gonna do something about this?” I taunt. Trace my tongue down his neck. Feel the fucking rage come in waves. “Gonna fucking stop me? Or, what, do you like this, too?”
The fucking noise coming out of him? Primal. Not even fucking human. In fucking seconds, I'm flat on my back. With him on top of me.
“Oh, wanna take me like that, huh?” I say.
He fucking growls. Think he might strangle me. Instead, Brendan fucking kisses me. Bites down on my lip so hard I think I might be bleeding. My heart hammers. Getting fucking high off this. It's fucking intoxicating.
Breaks the kiss and hisses, “Don't ask a question unless you want the answer.”
So hard it hurts right now. Can feel his anger, still coming in waves. So close to the source, it's a fucking drug. Better than any fucking drug, knowing how much he wants to hurt me.
Brendan pins one of my arms to the fucking ground. Rips off his pants in no time at all with the other. See how he's just as fucking excited as I am. Think he's gonna leave fucking bruises with how hard he's grabbing me. Fucking hurts. But doesn't hurt enough. Want more. Need more.
He takes my pants off a second later. Fucking exposes me. Don't think he wants to waste his fucking time.
“You gonna do it? Can you even fucking keep it up?” I taunt. Want Brendan good and pissed off. Want him to hurt me. Want to feel that fucking pain for real.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he growls.
Pulls my fucking legs apart. Slams into me before I can even fucking cry out.
Fuck, that hurts. I let out a moan as he pounds me. Brendan pushes my legs back, bends me fucking in half. Keeps fucking slamming me. No mercy. Don't want any fucking mercy.
“That all you got?” I gasp out.
Answers by pounding me even harder. So hard I'm pushed backwards. My head hits the fucking wall. I cry out in pain. Want fucking more.
“Weak, dude,” I manage. Hard to fucking talk.
Brendan makes a noise nowhere fucking near human. Pure fucking rage. Need more of that. He pounds me even harder. Didn't know it was possible to do that. Keeps pounding me like that. Now I'm the one making noises that aren't fucking human.
Feel myself getting close, bathed in the pain and the rage. Grab my dick. Starting stroking myself. That ache's driving me fucking crazy. So fucking close now as Brendan slams me.
So fucking close I can feel it. Can't speak at all. Just gasp and moan, my eyes halfway fucking closed. Think it's gonna be real fucking soon now.
Fucking explosion of white line behind my eyes when I come. Haven't come that hard in forever. My whole body shakes with the fucking force of it. Brendan comes just a few seconds later. Slips out of me soon after that.
And - the fuck did I do? Reality fucking hits me in the face. Feel my stomach drop a million fucking feet. Can't look at Brendan as I scramble for my boxers and pants. Don't think I'll be able to look anyone in the eye for a long fucking time.
---------
written for 500themes prompt #429 - "I'll Try Violence"