After the Sacrifice
This is an epilogue of sorts to my Cliffton/ The Meeting of Breccan & Finbar crossover fanfiction, Not So Divine.
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I don't wanna think about that day, not ever. That place we went to was just my imagination. I try to pretend like it was an episode of NebulaQuest and not something that happened to me. This doesn't work, and I dream about it every night. I dream about Devin every night. Even when I don't remember my dreams, I know he was in them because I wake up with tears in my eyes, every time.
Some days I think he's gonna come back, just wake up like he was in a coma or something. He's a god, isn't he? They can do stuff like that, right? Maybe if I want it bad enough, he'll return. Gods don't die. Do they?
It's already getting late, late for me, anyway. I should really go into the kitchen and start making breakfast. Everyone's gonna be hungry if I don't. I know Devin will need his SynthBrew to wake up - but he's not here anymore. My breath catches in my throat, and the tears start to fall. Every morning is like this - thinking he's here and remembering he's not. Why can't he come back already? Devin, it's been too long. This isn't funny anymore.
I'm a morning person, so why's it so hard to get out of bed? People are counting on me. I don't want to let everyone down. My heart's all heavy. I know why it's hard to get up, but I really don't like thinking about it. The truth makes me wanna curl up into a little ball and pretend like it's not real. I can't do so much pretending like that, though. It's just not me.
Slowly, I make myself get out of bed. As hard as that was, nobody else is up yet when I get to the kitchen. I start the SynthBrew, trying not to think about Devin isn't here to glare at me until he drinks enough of it. He always takes so long to wake up - took so long. He's not here anymore, is he? He'll never sleep the morning away again, will he? He won't - the tears start coming. I can't do this. I can't be like this. Devin - he didn't give his life for me so I could stand around crying. But he's gone, forever. How am I supposed to move on? I don't even wanna move on.
I don't want to, but I have to. As much as it hurts, and it hurts a lot, I have to move on for Devin. I owe it to him to live my life after what he did for me. Living's gonna be nearly impossible without him. That doesn't mean I can refuse to try, though. I struggle to stop my tears. There are people who need me. I won't let them down. I won't let Devin down.
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written for writerverse Challenge #04: Postsecret & 500themes prompt #13 - "Left Behind"
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I don't wanna think about that day, not ever. That place we went to was just my imagination. I try to pretend like it was an episode of NebulaQuest and not something that happened to me. This doesn't work, and I dream about it every night. I dream about Devin every night. Even when I don't remember my dreams, I know he was in them because I wake up with tears in my eyes, every time.
Some days I think he's gonna come back, just wake up like he was in a coma or something. He's a god, isn't he? They can do stuff like that, right? Maybe if I want it bad enough, he'll return. Gods don't die. Do they?
It's already getting late, late for me, anyway. I should really go into the kitchen and start making breakfast. Everyone's gonna be hungry if I don't. I know Devin will need his SynthBrew to wake up - but he's not here anymore. My breath catches in my throat, and the tears start to fall. Every morning is like this - thinking he's here and remembering he's not. Why can't he come back already? Devin, it's been too long. This isn't funny anymore.
I'm a morning person, so why's it so hard to get out of bed? People are counting on me. I don't want to let everyone down. My heart's all heavy. I know why it's hard to get up, but I really don't like thinking about it. The truth makes me wanna curl up into a little ball and pretend like it's not real. I can't do so much pretending like that, though. It's just not me.
Slowly, I make myself get out of bed. As hard as that was, nobody else is up yet when I get to the kitchen. I start the SynthBrew, trying not to think about Devin isn't here to glare at me until he drinks enough of it. He always takes so long to wake up - took so long. He's not here anymore, is he? He'll never sleep the morning away again, will he? He won't - the tears start coming. I can't do this. I can't be like this. Devin - he didn't give his life for me so I could stand around crying. But he's gone, forever. How am I supposed to move on? I don't even wanna move on.
I don't want to, but I have to. As much as it hurts, and it hurts a lot, I have to move on for Devin. I owe it to him to live my life after what he did for me. Living's gonna be nearly impossible without him. That doesn't mean I can refuse to try, though. I struggle to stop my tears. There are people who need me. I won't let them down. I won't let Devin down.
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written for writerverse Challenge #04: Postsecret & 500themes prompt #13 - "Left Behind"