NaNo Ridiculousness Chapter 14

[alien_writings]

Here's Chapter 14 of "I Prefer the Mind Control." I'm trying to make actual chapters now. Enjoy the ridiculousness!

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5(ish), Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

---------I didn't know how long I sat there with Xan in my arms, waiting for him to stop shaking.

Comments

[n3m3sis43]

“Our - our guide? Like this is the 'Freaky Sparkle Dimension Tour' or something?”

If it is, I really hope they bought some fucking T-shirts. I want one, too.

The obstacle course kind of reminded me of the ropes course thing Wes and Devin did together (which was your idea, haha). Except my course didn't have any cool sparkles and yours didn't have any surprise ass-grabbing because Xan apparently is not fake!Wes. How disappointing, but still. You had sparkles and therefore your course is inherently better. TVTropes says so!

You know, I've been noticing. Xan is kind of a wuss, and you keep saying he doesn't have a personality. Was he a wuss before Krun assaulted him, too, or did he become wussified as a way of dealing with the trauma? Maybe now that he's admitted his secret to Dylan, he can learn to be less wussy and develop a personality? Or does he need some healing cock for that to happen? Answer unclear, try again later?

Aren't you glad you waited ages for these comments? I know they are terrible, but these are the brilliant thoughts that come from my head.

[alien_writings]

I think wussiness might be one of Xan's natural personality flaws. Your comment is helpful, because that's something I should be thinking about, if that's a normal personality trait or a trauma side effect. I think it might be why he never showed my interest in politics or anything like that; he's sort of afraid of failure and scared of making an effort and not being good enough. I'm not familiar with this at all, by the way. Haha

I do think being with Dylan will help him develop an actual personality besides "avoids everything ever." Also, the fact that his dads are dying might spur actual character development? Kind of like what's supposed to happen to Kalen? Though Xan did start out less punchable, lol.

Damn, now I want to go on Zazzle.com or something and make "I went to the Freaky Sparkle Dimension and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!" or "Official Freaky Sparkle Dimension Tour" t-shirts or something similar. That would require graphic design ability and a reasonable customer base though, haha.

[n3m3sis42]

Haha, I'm glad it was helpful. :)

Kalen didn't start out that punchable but Xan made it 65k without getting that way and Kalen, well, didn't. Perhaps I do not excel at writing likable characters. Most people seem to like Brendan though. With the avoidance and the privilege, Xan does seem like he could have a similar reason for his lack of personality.

I would buy that shirt!