now see here -
i have seen people staring at me in the sexual-absorption type of way, their eyes keen yet so tender, predatorial whilst pliable. i have seen people examining me like a specimen, trying to place me as either animal or vegetable or mineral, but this is not all that different from the delectable lechers: these "distanced" examiners still wish to possess me, to absorb me, to do what they will with my private little pieces. they say things like: her stride's length is .93 meters. her shoe size is 8. her skirt restricts her thighs. stretching reveals a midriff. but really: i know what they've been staring at. my mysteries.
but the urgent point is this: i have caught a strange attitude in the eyes of some fleeting strangers. none more than once -- which is how i know i'm being observed ruthlessly. this look is neither lecherous nor friendly; it is the non-look of someone who has mastered the art of dissimulated distraction; yet i know - and they know i do. and so these uneyed strangers dance around me, meeting my sharp glance but once and then disappearing. it is difficult not to dizzy myself chasing these shadows.
but the urgent point is this: i have caught a strange attitude in the eyes of some fleeting strangers. none more than once -- which is how i know i'm being observed ruthlessly. this look is neither lecherous nor friendly; it is the non-look of someone who has mastered the art of dissimulated distraction; yet i know - and they know i do. and so these uneyed strangers dance around me, meeting my sharp glance but once and then disappearing. it is difficult not to dizzy myself chasing these shadows.