"Anymore pent up emotion, I think I'm gonna explode."
My grandfather is getting sicker.
It's his fifth heart attack and his heart is so weak that he's no longer a candidate for surgery.
So he goes home tomorrow.
We wait...
I'm sick and I have to go on a 24-hour heart monitor on Thursday.
Then I have a meeting with a neurologist.
And then a appt for an MRI.
I'm scared.
I'm 23.
This shouldn't be happening to me.
I feel like crying all the time.
Like at any given moment, I'm going to combust.
Since I'm like this, I've been pushing people away.
Mainly my family...like maybe I'm trying to save them from the cunt I've become.
There is no reason for me to write this.
Well maybe there is.
I don't want anyone's pity.
But I could use some support.
Because as much as I kid myself, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle this next month on my own.
P.S. Meggy is my hero. <3