Losing someone is never easy
This weekend was a particularly hard one for me. I came home because my Grandpa's health had finally deteriorated to the point where he was starting to not recognize people. I basically came home to say goodbye to my Grandpa and help my mom out as best I could. Even though I've already been through this when her mom and dad passed away, I'm really close to my dad's parents, so that made it a lot worse.
There was lots of family around, which helped my mom out a lot. It was still difficult. So difficult to see him there on the bed, not able to talk, barely able to recognize people. I was lucky enough that I'm pretty sure he knew who I was. I thanked him for being the best grandparent I could ask for, told him how much I loved him and that I knew he loved me, and that we'd take care of grandma and everything would be okay. I cried, a lot. It was very hard for me to say goodbye.. very hard for me to see him like that. The strong grandpa I always knew, who always had a story and a laugh, looked like a nazi concentration camp survivor laying on a bed. He looked nothing like he did a year ago.
I knew that he wasn't going to last much longer and I really hoped he would pass away soon. I hated to see him like that. I hoped he wasn't in pain. My mom called to tell me that they upped the morphine to every 2 hours and that the nurse decided to wait on putting in a urinary catheter and see how he was tonight. We kind of knew that wasn't a good sign. At 5:30pm my phone rang and it was my grandma's number. I didn't want to answer it, I knew what it meant. It was my dad, crying, to tell me that he had died. I guess he just had some shallow breathes and then stopped breathing. I hope it wasn't painful.
I love you Grandpa. I'll miss you a lot. I'll never forget everything you did for me. I'll always remember going to football games with you.. I'll remember going hunting and ice fishing with you.. I'll remember you coming to my school events.. how proud of me you were that I was playing the trumpet.. how proud you were that I was going to college and already had a good full time job... I'll always remember and love you.
There was lots of family around, which helped my mom out a lot. It was still difficult. So difficult to see him there on the bed, not able to talk, barely able to recognize people. I was lucky enough that I'm pretty sure he knew who I was. I thanked him for being the best grandparent I could ask for, told him how much I loved him and that I knew he loved me, and that we'd take care of grandma and everything would be okay. I cried, a lot. It was very hard for me to say goodbye.. very hard for me to see him like that. The strong grandpa I always knew, who always had a story and a laugh, looked like a nazi concentration camp survivor laying on a bed. He looked nothing like he did a year ago.
I knew that he wasn't going to last much longer and I really hoped he would pass away soon. I hated to see him like that. I hoped he wasn't in pain. My mom called to tell me that they upped the morphine to every 2 hours and that the nurse decided to wait on putting in a urinary catheter and see how he was tonight. We kind of knew that wasn't a good sign. At 5:30pm my phone rang and it was my grandma's number. I didn't want to answer it, I knew what it meant. It was my dad, crying, to tell me that he had died. I guess he just had some shallow breathes and then stopped breathing. I hope it wasn't painful.
I love you Grandpa. I'll miss you a lot. I'll never forget everything you did for me. I'll always remember going to football games with you.. I'll remember going hunting and ice fishing with you.. I'll remember you coming to my school events.. how proud of me you were that I was playing the trumpet.. how proud you were that I was going to college and already had a good full time job... I'll always remember and love you.