"A Good Year"
Title: A Good Year
Fandom: Pan Am
Author: Alidiabin
Words: 2,104.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and if I did own Pan Am it would not have been cancelled.
Warnings/Spoilers/Rating: none || Up to 1x14 || Teen
Parings: Dean/Colette.
Summary: In 1964 they find her brother and maybe each other.
A Good Year
January
In January she is eager. Desperate to find the brother she never knew. To finally meet someone who looks like her. Dean watches her as she stares longingly at the picture. She asks herself what he looks like now. What he does. And ask does he even want to know her?
In January, she gets as much information as she can, but she is far away. They need to be in France. In January she writes to the Nuns at the orphanage that raised her and asks for their help. She makes calls. He just lies on the bed with a smirk, as he listens to her getting pissy on the phone in French.
In January the task seems so huge, but he cannot wait for the adventure.
February
In February the reality hits. She runs through all the possibilities and probabilities. She reminds herself not to get too excited, but he sees that longing in her eyes. She does not just want this she needs this.
In February he starts learning French. He does not tell Colette at first; Laura schools him in conversational French, leaving out the grammar which apparently even she does not understand. While she is flying to exotic lands, he practices and perfects her native tongue, using his suspension for good and not evil.
In February he whispers Je t'aime as he picks her up from the airport after a long and tiring flight. In February, even though the sleep deprivation and the jetlag, Colette realizes he means it. She whispers it back before they both repeat it in English in the middle of the busy terminal.
In February Colette is reminded she is not alone, he is right there with her.
March
In March she corrects his awkward French as the plane takes off. In March they act as passengers, which feels strange. In March they look longingly at the galley and the cockpit, where they want to be. In March they arrive in Paris raring to go.
In March they drive through where Colette grew up. In the countryside just like him, she says, but his countryside was not as beautiful. She shows him where she went to school, the forest she played in as a child and the overgrown field where she lost her virginity.
In March they go to the orphanage. Colette is greeted warmly by the few Nuns who still remember her. She is told stories of those that have grown up and left, many to have families of their own. In March one of the nosy nuns enquires about Colette's bare finger and Dean's placement of his hands on her waist. In March Colette smiles and laughs and tells the prying nun that maybe one day he will put a golden band on her finger.
In March he thinks that one day that would not be such a bad idea.
April
In April they get their first lead. He watches as hope floods her and as she fantasizes about meeting her brother. He listens as she tells him she is not getting her hopes up but knows she is lying. Inside she is imagining a great reunion, a happy ending and boy does she deserve one.
In April he does not correct people when they assume they are married. Colette frowns the first time it happens but grows to like his arm around her waist. In April they fall into a routine. They realise they are happy and both decide not to change that.
In April, they hit their first dead end. He is not there. His family moved away long ago. The only person who remembers is old, infirm and senile, in between haggard breaths he tells them stories which they take with a grain of salt.
In April, he pretends not to hear her sobs as she cries herself to sleep that night. In April he wraps his arms around. He says nothing because there is nothing he can say but she appreciates the sentiment.
In April he decides failure is not an option.
May
In May they visit Dachau, where he parents died. At first he is not sure about the trip. He does not want Colette to suffer more, but she insists. She claims she needs it, she needs to closure. So he accompanies her. In May she finds her parents' names in the memorial plague. She runs her fingers across their engraved initials, all she has left.
In May, the place sobers him. The reality of it all. He is almost too young to remember the war. It was simply that time his father was away and Dean was upset because he missed his baseball games. But for Colette the war was life changing. While he worried about missed baseball games, she grieved lost relatives and learnt the national anthem of the country that had invaded hers.
In May the nightmares start. She sings German in her sleep. He does not know what to do. She kicks and she screams. Mama! Papa!
In May he wants nothing more than to protect her.
June
In June it is back to work, back to his prized captain's seat. In June he sits on his throne and plays god of the sky, though he is much to clean shaven to be Zeus. In June he realises how much he missed it. He realises how flying is as much a part of him as his heart, as his veins.
In June they are together mid-air. It takes all of his will power not to touch her as she hands him coffee. In June he whispers those three words as she bends across him.
In June they spend a whole weekend hold up in a tiny hotel in Vienna. They forget the pain and the hurt of the last few months and meet in the middle. Their lips meet, their tongues tangle and the hotel complains about the noise three times.
In June, he smiles as everything returns to normal.
July
In July he takes her back to his parents' house. In July their second meeting goes so much better than their first. His mother enquires about Colette's eyelashes, and when they are revealed to be Colette's own, she demands they are passed onto the grandchildren. In July she looks back at him with a puzzled look on her face, which merges into a soft smile as she imagines their offspring.
In July as they lay in his childhood bedroom, complete with the map of the world that he intended to cover in pins, marking off all he had been, they discuss the future. In July they realise they have a future and it is not half bad. In July they dream about white dresses, suburban houses, and babies with Colette's extraordinarily long eyelashes.
In July he realises he wants her forever and ever.
August
In August he drags Ted with him to the very expensive jeweller. Ted complains, still raw from his failed domesticity, which ended in miscarriage and him walking away from Amanda as she dressed in a white dress. In August he scans the rings looking for the perfect one, but none seem to fit. Some are too bright, some too plain. It is then hiding in the corners of the showroom that he finds it. The perfect ring, one he imagines sliding perfectly onto her finger.
In August he realises that even though he has proposed before it does not get any easier. Unlike before he forward plans. It is not done in haste. He sets out a romantic dinner on a private terrace of a restaurant. He does not care that it'll cost him a month's salary, it'll be worth it to see Colette's smile as she says yes.
In August she wows him in a green dress that makes her look beautiful, hugging all the right places without her being mistaken for a nightwalker. It is August that she smiles at his romantic gestures.
In August that he gets down on one knee with an open ring box. In August, she looks at him with wide eyes which quickly flood with tears. In August that she says no and walks away as quickly as her high heels will take her.
It is August that he wonders if he should ever propose again since he is so bad at it.
September
In September he feels lost. He wonders what he did to mess it up. He thought she wanted it. Marriage, a house, and babies, didn't all women want that. Colette always discussed wanting a family.
In September he applies for the position in Miami. In September he learns from previous mistakes and tells his parents about the break up. His mother replies to his heartfelt letter with a threat. If he doesn't get Colette back again she will lock them in the barn again, since that seemed to work so well last time.
In September Colette finds out that her brother has found out about her, and is looking for her too. She decides it was meant to be, that she will get her happy ending.
In September the happy ending feels bittersweet.
October
In October Colette hears the rumor that Dean is leaving, and goes to him for answers. In October Colette bangs on Dean's door until he answers. In October he stands on the other side of the door and debates whether or not he should let her in. He lets her in. In October she stands in his doorway in tears and tells him he can't leave.
In October she tearfully explains why she walked away. She can't marry him not yet. She wants to but she also wants to fly. She still has so much of the world to see before she settles down. In October he understands. In October they make up with a kiss and fall into the cardboard packing boxes.
In October she sends a letter, to her brother. In October she kisses the white envelope and prays it is not another wrong turn. Not another dead end.
In October things get back on track.
November
In November they come to a compromise. They agree that when Colette is ready to give up flying and when she is done exploring, they will marry. In November they escape the colder weather by herding tourists on flights to South America. In November they frolic on the sunny sands and dance to samba music. In October she learns why Dean insits on dancing to no music, he has no sense of rhythm.
In November they visit his parents for Thanksgiving. His mother jokes how she could get used to having them both visit more often. He watches as his girlfriend makes small talk with his mother about Thanksgiving, as she isn't quite sure what the holiday's purpose is, and he wonders when his life got so normal.
In November she gets a telephone call. A smile dawns on her face as she hears her brother's voice for the first time. The phone call is only short because of the expense but for days she tells anyone who will listen about him. She plans for him to come to New York for New Years.
In November it appears the destination is near, and the journey was worth it.
December
In December he takes her ice skating. She claims she has never been but easily glides across the frozen water. She is so perfectly graceful;
In December they celebrate Christmas in a hotel room because their flight back to New York is delayed. Neither of them mind, because they certainly find ways to occupy their time.
In December they sit inside the terminal waiting for her brother's flight to come in. He holds her hand as she shakes with both nervousness and excitement. In December he arrives with dark curly hair and Colette's long eyelashes. In December Colette runs across the terminal to greet her brother In December Dean watches as brother and sister hug until their arms get too sore.
In December, Henri, a future doctor with a full head of dark brown hair, shakes his hand, and calls Dean his brother-in-law. Dean laughs at the nod to the future.
In December they stand on the balcony waiting for the ball to drop. They are all their, Ted, Laura, Maggie and Kate despite absences and travels, with Henri slotting into the group perfectly. In December he wraps his arm around Colette as the ball drops.
In December they both vow that 1965 will be even better and start it off with a kiss.
This entry was originally posted at http://alidiabin.dreamwidth.org/229428.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Fandom: Pan Am
Author: Alidiabin
Words: 2,104.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and if I did own Pan Am it would not have been cancelled.
Warnings/Spoilers/Rating: none || Up to 1x14 || Teen
Parings: Dean/Colette.
Summary: In 1964 they find her brother and maybe each other.
A Good Year
January
In January she is eager. Desperate to find the brother she never knew. To finally meet someone who looks like her. Dean watches her as she stares longingly at the picture. She asks herself what he looks like now. What he does. And ask does he even want to know her?
In January, she gets as much information as she can, but she is far away. They need to be in France. In January she writes to the Nuns at the orphanage that raised her and asks for their help. She makes calls. He just lies on the bed with a smirk, as he listens to her getting pissy on the phone in French.
In January the task seems so huge, but he cannot wait for the adventure.
February
In February the reality hits. She runs through all the possibilities and probabilities. She reminds herself not to get too excited, but he sees that longing in her eyes. She does not just want this she needs this.
In February he starts learning French. He does not tell Colette at first; Laura schools him in conversational French, leaving out the grammar which apparently even she does not understand. While she is flying to exotic lands, he practices and perfects her native tongue, using his suspension for good and not evil.
In February he whispers Je t'aime as he picks her up from the airport after a long and tiring flight. In February, even though the sleep deprivation and the jetlag, Colette realizes he means it. She whispers it back before they both repeat it in English in the middle of the busy terminal.
In February Colette is reminded she is not alone, he is right there with her.
March
In March she corrects his awkward French as the plane takes off. In March they act as passengers, which feels strange. In March they look longingly at the galley and the cockpit, where they want to be. In March they arrive in Paris raring to go.
In March they drive through where Colette grew up. In the countryside just like him, she says, but his countryside was not as beautiful. She shows him where she went to school, the forest she played in as a child and the overgrown field where she lost her virginity.
In March they go to the orphanage. Colette is greeted warmly by the few Nuns who still remember her. She is told stories of those that have grown up and left, many to have families of their own. In March one of the nosy nuns enquires about Colette's bare finger and Dean's placement of his hands on her waist. In March Colette smiles and laughs and tells the prying nun that maybe one day he will put a golden band on her finger.
In March he thinks that one day that would not be such a bad idea.
April
In April they get their first lead. He watches as hope floods her and as she fantasizes about meeting her brother. He listens as she tells him she is not getting her hopes up but knows she is lying. Inside she is imagining a great reunion, a happy ending and boy does she deserve one.
In April he does not correct people when they assume they are married. Colette frowns the first time it happens but grows to like his arm around her waist. In April they fall into a routine. They realise they are happy and both decide not to change that.
In April, they hit their first dead end. He is not there. His family moved away long ago. The only person who remembers is old, infirm and senile, in between haggard breaths he tells them stories which they take with a grain of salt.
In April, he pretends not to hear her sobs as she cries herself to sleep that night. In April he wraps his arms around. He says nothing because there is nothing he can say but she appreciates the sentiment.
In April he decides failure is not an option.
May
In May they visit Dachau, where he parents died. At first he is not sure about the trip. He does not want Colette to suffer more, but she insists. She claims she needs it, she needs to closure. So he accompanies her. In May she finds her parents' names in the memorial plague. She runs her fingers across their engraved initials, all she has left.
In May, the place sobers him. The reality of it all. He is almost too young to remember the war. It was simply that time his father was away and Dean was upset because he missed his baseball games. But for Colette the war was life changing. While he worried about missed baseball games, she grieved lost relatives and learnt the national anthem of the country that had invaded hers.
In May the nightmares start. She sings German in her sleep. He does not know what to do. She kicks and she screams. Mama! Papa!
In May he wants nothing more than to protect her.
June
In June it is back to work, back to his prized captain's seat. In June he sits on his throne and plays god of the sky, though he is much to clean shaven to be Zeus. In June he realises how much he missed it. He realises how flying is as much a part of him as his heart, as his veins.
In June they are together mid-air. It takes all of his will power not to touch her as she hands him coffee. In June he whispers those three words as she bends across him.
In June they spend a whole weekend hold up in a tiny hotel in Vienna. They forget the pain and the hurt of the last few months and meet in the middle. Their lips meet, their tongues tangle and the hotel complains about the noise three times.
In June, he smiles as everything returns to normal.
July
In July he takes her back to his parents' house. In July their second meeting goes so much better than their first. His mother enquires about Colette's eyelashes, and when they are revealed to be Colette's own, she demands they are passed onto the grandchildren. In July she looks back at him with a puzzled look on her face, which merges into a soft smile as she imagines their offspring.
In July as they lay in his childhood bedroom, complete with the map of the world that he intended to cover in pins, marking off all he had been, they discuss the future. In July they realise they have a future and it is not half bad. In July they dream about white dresses, suburban houses, and babies with Colette's extraordinarily long eyelashes.
In July he realises he wants her forever and ever.
August
In August he drags Ted with him to the very expensive jeweller. Ted complains, still raw from his failed domesticity, which ended in miscarriage and him walking away from Amanda as she dressed in a white dress. In August he scans the rings looking for the perfect one, but none seem to fit. Some are too bright, some too plain. It is then hiding in the corners of the showroom that he finds it. The perfect ring, one he imagines sliding perfectly onto her finger.
In August he realises that even though he has proposed before it does not get any easier. Unlike before he forward plans. It is not done in haste. He sets out a romantic dinner on a private terrace of a restaurant. He does not care that it'll cost him a month's salary, it'll be worth it to see Colette's smile as she says yes.
In August she wows him in a green dress that makes her look beautiful, hugging all the right places without her being mistaken for a nightwalker. It is August that she smiles at his romantic gestures.
In August that he gets down on one knee with an open ring box. In August, she looks at him with wide eyes which quickly flood with tears. In August that she says no and walks away as quickly as her high heels will take her.
It is August that he wonders if he should ever propose again since he is so bad at it.
September
In September he feels lost. He wonders what he did to mess it up. He thought she wanted it. Marriage, a house, and babies, didn't all women want that. Colette always discussed wanting a family.
In September he applies for the position in Miami. In September he learns from previous mistakes and tells his parents about the break up. His mother replies to his heartfelt letter with a threat. If he doesn't get Colette back again she will lock them in the barn again, since that seemed to work so well last time.
In September Colette finds out that her brother has found out about her, and is looking for her too. She decides it was meant to be, that she will get her happy ending.
In September the happy ending feels bittersweet.
October
In October Colette hears the rumor that Dean is leaving, and goes to him for answers. In October Colette bangs on Dean's door until he answers. In October he stands on the other side of the door and debates whether or not he should let her in. He lets her in. In October she stands in his doorway in tears and tells him he can't leave.
In October she tearfully explains why she walked away. She can't marry him not yet. She wants to but she also wants to fly. She still has so much of the world to see before she settles down. In October he understands. In October they make up with a kiss and fall into the cardboard packing boxes.
In October she sends a letter, to her brother. In October she kisses the white envelope and prays it is not another wrong turn. Not another dead end.
In October things get back on track.
November
In November they come to a compromise. They agree that when Colette is ready to give up flying and when she is done exploring, they will marry. In November they escape the colder weather by herding tourists on flights to South America. In November they frolic on the sunny sands and dance to samba music. In October she learns why Dean insits on dancing to no music, he has no sense of rhythm.
In November they visit his parents for Thanksgiving. His mother jokes how she could get used to having them both visit more often. He watches as his girlfriend makes small talk with his mother about Thanksgiving, as she isn't quite sure what the holiday's purpose is, and he wonders when his life got so normal.
In November she gets a telephone call. A smile dawns on her face as she hears her brother's voice for the first time. The phone call is only short because of the expense but for days she tells anyone who will listen about him. She plans for him to come to New York for New Years.
In November it appears the destination is near, and the journey was worth it.
December
In December he takes her ice skating. She claims she has never been but easily glides across the frozen water. She is so perfectly graceful;
In December they celebrate Christmas in a hotel room because their flight back to New York is delayed. Neither of them mind, because they certainly find ways to occupy their time.
In December they sit inside the terminal waiting for her brother's flight to come in. He holds her hand as she shakes with both nervousness and excitement. In December he arrives with dark curly hair and Colette's long eyelashes. In December Colette runs across the terminal to greet her brother In December Dean watches as brother and sister hug until their arms get too sore.
In December, Henri, a future doctor with a full head of dark brown hair, shakes his hand, and calls Dean his brother-in-law. Dean laughs at the nod to the future.
In December they stand on the balcony waiting for the ball to drop. They are all their, Ted, Laura, Maggie and Kate despite absences and travels, with Henri slotting into the group perfectly. In December he wraps his arm around Colette as the ball drops.
In December they both vow that 1965 will be even better and start it off with a kiss.
This entry was originally posted at http://alidiabin.dreamwidth.org/229428.html. Please comment there using OpenID.